Not Just a Mother Figure
by singeing
Summary: This is the story about Unohana Retsu and Kuchiki Byakuya and how their relationship evolved over time.
1. Prologue

Not Just A Mother Figure

by feanor's flame

author's note: i'm not sure if this is the title i want but anyway. this would be my first ever fic. as in ever. i dont like to write stories that much. i prefer to read. but now i'm off topic. so i hope you read and comment on how i can improve or something. i do not mind constructive criticism. but please do not flame me XD thank you

disclaimer: i do not own Bleach nor do i own the characters... sorry...

All was quiet in the Kuchiki Manor. It was the first day of Spring but the air was still chilly and the flowers were still nothing more than young buds. A normal passerby would think that everything was peaceful in the Kuchiki estate, home of Kuchiki Byakuya, captain of the 6th Division in the Gotei 13. But that passerby didn't know the inner turmoil that was going on in the house of the captain and that all was not well for him and most certainly for his wife, Hisana.

The Kuchiki estate was a beautiful and magnificent place to behold not only for its size but for its gardens which hold uncountable species of plants and flowers. At the Southern part of the house, a window, overlooking the revered garden, was open. But its occupants were far from admiring the view and it had nothing to do with the fact that the flowers were not in bloom yet.

"Byakuya…" whispered a voice weak and weary as if a dead weight was on top of her.

"Don't speak. It is bad for your condition," urged the tall, beautiful man. Kuchiki Byakuya, who was most known for his proud and cold demeanor and incredible indifference, was now unbelievably close to panic.

His wife, Hisana, must not have seen the fear in his eyes nor heard the tremor in his voice and if she did, she did not show it as she continued on. "Please promise me that you will find my sister, Rukia, and adopt her into your family so she may call you brother. But please, do not tell her that I am her sister. I do not deserve it."

Byakuya, eager to please his wife especially during her last dying moments, nodded and promised. The two exchanged a few more words until the inevitable came and Hisana, wife of the 28th head of the noble Kuchiki clan, passed away.

Byakuya, the master of masks, took of his, hung his head and wept.

Several moments later, he turned his head to look at another figure in the room.

"Thank you, Unohana-taichou, for trying your best," he said softly.

The kind and pleasant face of Unohana Retsu smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Kuchiki-taichou. I should have been more strict with her and made her take more rests."

"It's not your fault. Despite her weakened state, Hisana still chose to continue to search for the sister she abandoned. Her guilt plagued her till her death." The last words of the noble were almost lost in the sound of the wind due to the softness of his voice.

Unohana Retsu cast a worried look at her fellow captain who was now looking out the window.

"Death didn't even wait for the first bud to bloom," he said.

Kuchiki Byakuya, whom she had known since he was a young child, had a look of utter despair that caused her to become alarmed. In all the decades she knew Byakuya, he had never shown his weaknesses for he hid them very well. But now, he did not even try to hide them. But he knew that Retsu could be trusted and even if he concealed his emotions and built a brick wall around his heart, he knew she could still see through them anyway.

Unohana stood up and walked towards the sorrowful man. She gently laid a hand on top of his shoulder and said "Do not lose heart, Kuchiki-taichou. Continue to live* so that you can fulfill the promise you made this day. May it be your anchor to this world. I am confident that you will find her sister soon."

Byakuya looked at the gentle healer and slightly nodded. Retsu smiled faintly, hoping that her words were a comfort to him. Then she looked up at the sky and saw the light was growing weaker. She turned to Byakuya and gave him a small friendly hug. "I must go back and get more helpers to prepare Hisana's body. I will also see you at the funeral. If you'll excuse me, Kuchiki-taichou."

The noble tried to bid the lady farewell but found out that he couldn't speak so he bowed his head instead as Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4th division, made her way out of the room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*live- i don't know whether soul reapers are "living" or just existing :D but i went for live in the end 'coz it's deeper, i guess. exist is nice, too...


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Before anything else, I would like to tell you, as i have said before, that I do not own Bleach. Now that's clear, let's move on! :D

Not Just A Mother Figure

Chapter One

Another normal day in Soul Society. Another normal, paperwork-filled day for the Gotei 13. Everything was peaceful and everything was boring. At least, that's what Kotetsu Isane thought as she walked along the corridor of the 4th division. She was headed for Unohana-taichou's office when Hanatarou Yamada suddenly burst out of a nearby door looking the worse for wear with a frightened look on his face.

"Ah! Good morning, Isane," he said cheerfully as if the bruises all over him were not there at all.

"Waa! Hanatarou, what happened to you?" Isane asked, concerned for her fellow shinigami. "Wait, don't tell me. 11th division?"

Hanatarou looked sheepish and nodded. Isane sighed and said "Well then, go heal yourself up right away. Where are those nasty brutes anyway?"

"Um… They're all outside the hospital."

"What?! What are they doing out there? Hmm… Probably waiting for the next helpless 4th division member to come out alone and attack!" yelled the lieutenant who had an obvious dislike for the 11th division.

'Maybe she has bad memories from the past with the 11th division. Maybe she was bullied,' thought Hanatarou. But the more he looked at his lieutenant, the more he couldn't believe that she was bullied. 'Isane was too tall to be bullied,' thought Hanatarou. 'Besides, they wouldn't want to feel the wrath of Lieutenant Hisagi Shuuhei, a close friend of Isane.' Hanatarou chuckled to himself, despite the pain he felt at the side of his ribs.

Isane sighed. "Never mind. I will deal with those later."

"Deal with what?"

Isane and Hanatarou immediately turned to the voice of the captain. Now both of them looked sheepish. "Um… Nothing, taichou, I just wanted to give you these papers," she said while handing over the pile in her hand.

"Thank you, Isane. Now, what about these 11th division shinigami you were talking about?" Unohana smiled her creepy smile that gave nightmares to the said division's members. She went inside her office to put the papers on her desk and got out again. She proceeded towards the main entrance of the 4th division center. Naturally, the two others followed their captain and hoped for the best (in this case, the worst for the unfortunate 11th division guys).

They got out of the building and saw the bullies right away. The meanies would have run for the hills the second they saw Unohana-taichou with the two other shinigami but they were too busy coming up with new ways to torture and beat up and other things that bullies do to weak guys like Hanatarou. How unfortunate for them.

"Good morning, fellow shinigami," greeted Unohana-taichou. The creepy smile was still on her face. Immediately, the bullies froze and slowly turned to the captain. Isane and Hanatarou almost laughed out loud at their shocked, scared, pale faces.

"G-go-good m-morning! Unoha-hana-t-taichou!" they mumbled. This time, Isane actually did laugh when she saw the proud, mean, violent shinigami get reduced to stuttering idiots.

"Now, I believe you have been bothering my squad members. Please, apologize to him and please remember that when any of you get injured, he will be the one taking care of you. And you don't want him to make any mistakes, do you now?" Unohana smiled pleasantly/creepily.

"N-No… NO! Of course not, t-taichou!" shouted the bullies.

"Well then, go on. Apologize to him, and any other shinigami you have bullied."

"Yes, ma'am!" They abruptly turned to Hanatarou who got freaked out by their sudden movements and hid behind Isane. "Sorry, little shinigami."

"Good boys," said Unohana-taichou like an expert dog-trainer. The bullies bowed stiffly, turned, and ran as fast as they could back to 11th division's headquarters. Unohana then turned to her subordinates who saw a twinkle in her eyes. "Let's get back to work, shall we?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Then the two walked into the building. Unohana stayed for a bit when she suddenly saw Kuchiki-taichou walking along the corridors. She guessed that he was probably headed towards the gate that Rukia was using to go to the real world. She remembered that today was the day that his sister was leaving for a while.

'How nice of him to stop by and say goodbye,' she thought. Unohana would have gone and seen Rukia off to but she already said her goodbyes the day before.

"Good morning, Kuchiki-taichou."

"Good morning," he replied with a small nod of his head.

"Where are you going today? Are you going to the gate to the real world?"

"No. I am going to meet the soutaichou," he said.

Unohana paused, surprised by what he said. "Is there a meeting?"

"No. I am going to meet my new fukutaichou."

'Oh. I wonder what happened to his last one,' she mused. "Who is it then? Do you have an idea?"

"Yes. Abarai Renji, sixth seat of the 11th division."

Unohana blinked. '11th division? Kuchiki-taichou and an 11th division member? I don't think that's a perfect combination…'

"What's wrong?" Byakuya suddenly asked, looking at the now silent and blinking healer.

Unohana looked up and smiled. "Nothing. I hope that you get along well and that no problem occurs and that he adjusts to his new position." Unohana didn't really dislike the 11th division. Well, definitely not as much as Isane does, but she thinks that members of that squad would get less nightmares from her if they weren't always sending injured people to her squad or _beating up_ _members_ of her squad.

"Do you know him, then?" Byakuya asked, still wondering why the other captain got silent and in deep thought all of a sudden.

Unohana searched her memory for an Abarai Renji. She had this vague idea of deep red hair and shocking tattoos. "Not well. I've only seen him once in the infirmary."

Byakuya the closed his eyes and nodded ever so slightly—the two actions that he was always seen doing.

"Well, I do not want to delay you from your meeting," Unohana said, waving her hand goodbye. Byakuya then continued to walk on, past the 4th division and disappeared around a corner.

Unohana stared at the empty spot that he had been just a moment ago. A look of contemplation was etched on the pretty features of the captain's face. After a moment or two, she went back inside her division. She headed towards her office but was stopped when Isane popped from behind a door. "Unohana-taichou?"

"Yes, Isane?"

"Who was that I heard you were talking to?" she asked boldly. Unohana-taichou had been her superior for as long as she had been in the Gotei 13 and she had somehow regarded her as her substitute mother. Isane and her sister had come into Soul Society without a home and without someone to protect them from danger except for themselves. But sometimes, Isane forgets that Unohana, while kind and gracious and motherly in more ways than one can count, was still her taichou.

However Unohana didn't seem to mind in any way. "It was Kuchiki-taichou."

"Oh. Is he going to see Rukia off?"

"Unfortunately, no, he is not. He is headed towards the 1st division to meet with the soutaichou and his new fukutaichou."

"Really? Who is it? I hope he's not from 11th division," Isane said, thinking that Kuchiki-taichou's personality would clash with an 11th division member's.

"Well, I'm sorry to say, Isane, but he is. But Abarai Renji seems to be a good enough lad since the General deems him worthy enough to be Kuchiki-taichou's lieutenant," Unohana said with that ever-present smile. "Now, if you excuse me, Isane, I have to go and finish up the paperwork."

"Yes, Unohana-taichou," suddenly feeling a little bit guilty for keeping her captain from doing her work and being the one who gave her more paperwork.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The sun was red as it slowly went down from the dimming sky. The people living in Sereitei were finishing up the last of the things they had to do as shinigami. The same was being done in the 4th division as they prepared to leave and call it a day. Isane was practically skipping as she made her way to Unohana-taichou's office. She hopped to the door, knocked, and opened it right away.

"Yes, Isane? Are you going now?" asked Unohana from behind her desk. The Captain was also just about finished with her work.

"Yes, taichou. I am leaving now. Are you going, too?"

"Not yet, there are some things I have to do first. Good bye and sleep well, Isane."

Isane waved and closed the door. Unohana sighed as she signed the rest of the papers and put them into their respective folders. Paperwork can be so tiring. Matsumoto Rangiku came here once and complained about the headache she got from doing all the things Hitsugaya-taichou was making her do. She chuckled as she remembered the look on Toushiro's face when she told him that she gave permission for Rangiku to stay in the infirmary until her headache passed away.

She then got up and went to the open window to watch the setting sun and the shinigami who were heading back to their homes. She was reminded of Rukia and what happened today. 'Rukia must be a little upset that her brother did not get a chance to see her off. What a pity that today must be the day that he had to meet his lieutenant,' she thought. 'They wouldn't get a chance to see each other for a long time.' She frowned slightly as she remembered what Rukia had said to her when they passed each other in the 13th Division when she was visiting Ukitake-taichou for his weekly check-up.

"_Rukia dear, how are you doing? Have you told your brother about your departure to the real world?" Unohana asked the smaller shinigami in front of her with wide eyes and hair as dark as hers._

"_No, Unohana-taichou. I was afraid of bothering nii-sama so I asked Ukitake-taichou to do it for me," she replied looking down at her feet._

"_Oh?" Unohana said, not really surprised that Rukia would do that. "Well, Rukia, farewell and take care and I hope you come back soon."_

"_Goodbye, Unohana-taichou." Rukia turned and went to do her business as Unohana went off in the direction of Ukitake's office._

Unohana didn't like the way Rukia was afraid of her brother. Instead of feeling comfort from a family member, Rukia felt uneasy and insignificant beside Kuchiki-taichou. 'Well, it doesn't help that Kuchiki-taichou has a personality similar to that of a rock.' But even though Byakuya never showed his feelings and never seemed to care about Rukia, Unohana knew that he cared about his sister very much. 'If only Rukia knew just how much he is fond of her… but I fear that when he is ready to show concern for his sister, it would already be too late.'

Unohana looked up at the already dark sky and shook her head slowly and berated herself for sounding so ominous. She was about to turn away from the window when something caught her eye. Or should she say someone. It was Kuchiki-taichou. Unohana could see the last slivers of sunlight flashing on his kenseikan and his scarf billowing in the wind. But he was not alone. A tall redhead was following behind him and true enough, he had crazy tattoos on his forehead. "Well, they seem to be getting along fine.' She smiled to herself as she closed the window and headed to the Captain's quarters in the 4th division.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The 4th Division's lodges were located near the border where a forest grew. It looked almost like the common Gotei 13's wooden apartments except it was cleaner, a bit smaller and even though it was apart from the infirmary, there was still a trace of hospital smell. The captain's suite was built intentionally facing toward the forest and to the horizon beyond. The construction workers had also attached a balcony outside the captain's quarters as a special gift for her. It was a thanksgiving present for preserving the lives of so many shinigami. Retsu spent most of her time there whenever she's not on duty or sleeping. That night was no different. Retsu was seated in the middle of the wooden terrace, looking serenely at the night sky. There was a steaming pot of a special kind of tea that she knew her weekly visitor preferred.

Unohana Retsu was drinking the tea when she heard a knock on her door. She got up and opened it to see Kuchiki Byakuya standing outside. This was not unusual, apparently, because Unohana smiled as if to say that a man standing outside your door during the time when most people were preparing to sleep or going out to party was something that happened everyday. She led Byakuya to the balcony and poured another cup of tea for the silent man.

They drank and sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Retsu broke the silence. "I saw you with your vice-captain earlier today. He looks like a…passionate young man," she said, finally coming up with another word for fiery.

"Hmm…" was the only reply she got.

"It's too bad that you didn't get to see Rukia off when she left for the human world," she said softly, trying to win a reaction from the man.

"I will see her when she gets back, if she does not manage to get herself killed before she needs to return."

Ouch. Unohana inwardly winced at the cold statement. But she could see there was concern beneath his words so she paid no mind to it.

On special days, Unohana and Kuchiki-taichou would meet together to have some tea. It was their custom to do so for the last fifty years, since the year that Byakuya lost his wife. Byakuya had always regarded her as his friend and Retsu had always regarded him as her little brother or child. They had been on good terms with each other since the start of Byakuya's role as a shinigami because of her good nature and his peaceful and nonviolent ways. People have always regarded their relationship as something more than friendship. While both of them never seemed to contradict or deny the rumors, they have not made any thoughts or moves that would prove that their relationship was something more than that of just friends.

"There is no shame in showing that you care for her, Kuchiki-taichou," she teased lightly. She was one of the few people, and I mean, very, very few people, who could tease him and actually get away with it.

Byakuya just gazed at her with his usual look of indifference and turned back to look at the view. The moon was out and the stars were just beginning to show up. Retsu followed suit and named a few stars that she knew of. She has always been captivated by their majesty and brilliance. Unfortunately, in all the centuries of her very long life, starting from the time when she decided to become a shinigami, she had never found the time to memorize the names of all the well-known constellations. Her study in the healing arts took up her time when she was just a young shinigami and her time in the infirmary, evidently being the captain of the 4th Division, took up her time now. She took a brief glance towards her companion and guessed that he probably knew all the constellations and could name them with his eyes closed. It made sense because he was like a star, beautiful, cold and distant with a noble aura.

"You are silent tonight, more silent than usual. There is something you want to say," he stated without a trace of uncertainty.

Retsu was just about to drink from her cup when he said this and she paused with her cup halfway to her mouth. 'Ah, Byakuya and his perceptive mind,' she mused with a wry smile.

"You are also silent. Is there something _you _want to say?" she countered with her head slightly tilted to the side and eyes filled with good-natured humor.

"I am not silent. I merely have nothing to say that I find others worthy to hear," he answered and Retsu could almost feel the frost forming around her. His cool, grey eyes dared her to continue and if Retsu were anyone else, she would have peed in her pants. But that would be ungraceful and she was anything but that.

After a moment of nothing but staring at each other, glaring in Byakuya's part, Retsu decided to give him a break and she gave out a small chuckle. "Very well, I will tell you what is on my mind."

She then faced towards him, away from the horizon, so that she could meet his eyes directly.

"You know of my lieutenant, Isane Kotetsu?"

He nodded.

"She has been my student for a long time now and she still has much to learn but she is skilled and gifted. She is actually more of a daughter to me than a student," Retsu's eyes were tender as she thought about her slightly awkward lieutenant. "But let us start with my past. You see, I had no recollection about my former life. I'm not so sure I even had one. But I was born into a family. We were not as rich as you are, of course, but we had plenty of food on the table. My mother always made sure of it." She frowned and paused for just a moment and continued. "I was very different back then than I am now. Let's just say that I did not appreciate the blessings that I had. But then I met Isane. I met her when I was a captain for almost 2 centuries, just before the time I met you when you were still a young boy aspiring to be the best shinigami that ever lived. She and I became close and she told about her life out there in Rukongai. She and her sister were always in constant danger of being killed by criminals, by loneliness or by their own hunger. She vaguely remembers her life back when she was human but she is certain of one thing; that she and her sister had loving parents. And that was the one thing that kept them alive, even during starvation, that they were loved and that they loved their parents enough to continue on living to make them proud."

Byakuya's eyes were closed but she knew he was listening to every word she said.

"Byakuya, dear, you see, a lot of people right now do not have one. A family, I mean. And the sad thing is…"

Byakuya opened his eyes to see what made her stop and he was surprised to see a pair of eyes with the grief of someone who had suffered much.

She continued, her voice soft and low, "Those that did have one did not realize the gift they had until it was already too late."

The elegant male captain sighed knowing exactly where this was all heading, though a bit curious about Retsu's sudden change of mood. He did not know much about Retsu's past except that her close relatives were now all gone. None, save maybe for a few, really knew why. Maybe that was due to the fact that Retsu refused to talk about it and would always change the subject if someone was brave enough to ask her about it. Byakuya knew better than to ask her himself. Retsu was his closest friend, actually, you could say that she was his _only_ close friend, and he would not risk their friendship for something that he knew was not his right to know. Besides, if Retsu wanted to tell him, she would in her own time...eventually…maybe…

"I know that it is not within my jurisdiction to tell you what you should do or should not do but as a close personal friend, I feel compelled to tell you anyway. Rukia may not be your sister by blood, but she is your sister by law and by your promise. I know that you do care for her deeply but you must learn that caring for her is actually different than showing her that you do." Retsu stopped, unsure of whether she must reveal to him what Rukia truly felt about her brother. 'I think that that is Rukia's decision, to tell or not to tell her brother that she feels like a disgrace to his name,' she thought.

Byakuya sighed faintly once again, turned his head to glare at the silver half-moon. He had heard this message before from her. That was when Rukia first joined the 13th Division. He knew that Unohana-taichou meant well every time she told him this but he couldn't possibly show Rukia that he actually _had feelings, _much less tell her that he loved her. It would ruin his image of being the Quintessence of Apathy.

"I know what you're thinking," Retsu said, breaking the silence that enveloped them once again. "I know that you think that feelings are beneath you but think about what I said and really grasp the fact that even shinigami cannot control fate." Retsu suddenly remembered Kaien Shiba, Rukia's former lieutenant, and what tragedy happened to him and his wife. "I am not implying that I have little faith in you and Rukia's abilities, in fact, you two are undeniably capable of protecting and defending yourselves but you can never be too careful."

Byakuya remained silent and Retsu let him be and got back to drinking her tea. Several minutes have passed when Byakuya placed his cup beside him and started to get up.

"Thank you, Unohana-taichou for your suggestions. I cannot promise you that I will follow them but I will certainly consider everything you said. Thank you for your tea. Next time, we shall meet in my manor. Good night," he said with a polite nod. Retsu barely managed to say goodbye when Byakuya swiftly yet very gracefully left the room.

Now it was Retsu's turn to sigh. She took Byakuya's word that he would actually reflect upon what she had said but she doubted that he would do anything to alleviate the problem that was evident between the two Kuchiki's.

Authors note: I do not really know what Unohana's or Isane's past is. I just sort of made it up haha I'd also like to thank you to -The-Emo-Alchemist- and P.E.R.S.O.N.A. EXPERT for your kind reviews :D i really appreciate it coz it made me continue writing this story. And yes! i love Byakuya! My friends tell me i'm insane maybe bcoz of how much i keep on talking about how gorgeous he is hahaha I'm glad you found my story worthy to be reviewed :D

Thanks for reading! :D


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Most, if not, all of the things i have put together in this story come from the things i have read or watched in the manga or anime Bleach, created by Tite Kubo. So even the plot is not mine. Except maybe for the little details like conversation and love teams and etc.

I hope you enjoy reading and if you have anything you want to say or point out to me (like grammatical mistakes or inconsistencies), please do. :D

Chapter 2

It was an abnormally busy day in Seireitei. A lot of shinigami were bustling down the streets, hurrying off to different places to meet deadlines, run some errands or just meet some friends. Amid the busy crowd, Unohana-taichou could also be seen heading off to some particular place. Normally, a person Unohana-taichou's size would not be easily seen among a huge crowd but then again, Unohana Retsu was not your regular, ordinary shinigami, not with her bright captain's coat and her trademark braided hair. But that was not the only thing that distinguished her from the crowd. While most of the shinigami around her were running and sweating with panic etched on their faces because they were already late for some meeting or other, Retsu was unperturbed, walking purposefully towards the general direction of the 11th, 12th and 13th Division Areas.

You may be wondering. Why didn't they just use shunpo to get to wherever they wanted to go? Well, the answer is quite simple, if not stupid. Most of the shinigami, in their panic, forgot that they could have just done that. Others just wanted to have some exercise. (You'd think the lifestyle of a shinigami means lots of work and training but in actuality, only the lucky chosen ones get to experience the real fun stuff and get to take down some hollows.) And as for Unohana-taichou, she normally doesn't use shunpo unless she really had to. She believed that legs and feet were made for walking and so walk she does, even if it would take her longer to get to her destination.

As Unohana continued down several streets, people became fewer and fewer and the atmosphere became more relaxed. She walked past the 11th Division area and quickly went past 12th Division, too, until she reached 13th Division. She passed over the bridge, built over a little lake, and headed to the wooden house that stood at the center of all the blue.

As she reached the door, she heard an argument that she had grown very familiar with. Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentaro Kotsubaki, Ukitake-taichou's 3rd seat officers were, as usual, fighting about what seemed best for their precious captain. Although the two had the best intentions at heart, they were causing more harm than good for their captain. Thankfully, the two of them came to an abrupt stop when they saw Unohana at the doorway.

"Good morning, Unohana-taichou!" the two of them greeted dutifully.

Unohana greeted them back and turned to Ukitake-taichou who was half-sitting, half-lying on a humongous pile of pillows, most likely given by his 3rd seats. He was clutching a blood-stained piece of cloth and his face was almost as pale as his hair. Nevertheless, he gave a weak smile at Unohana when he saw her.

"Good morning, Ukitake-taichou," she greeted him with a smile in return, though she doubted that he found anything good at the moment, except maybe for his pillow mountain. She didn't expect him to reply as it might worsen his condition. She silently sat down beside him and began her healing inspection.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Half an hour later, Unohana and Kiyone were standing outside Ukitake's quarters, discussing things amongst themselves. Sentaro was out on an errand for Ukitake–something about needing to feed the koi.

"It's so untimely that taichou has to be sick now when he already has a lot of things to worry about," said Kiyone, the love for her captain evident in her voice and her countenance.

"I assume you are talking about Rukia," said the also concerned captain.

"Yes," answered Kiyone. "I do not know what is taking her so long in the human world. Taichou talked to the cov-ops team from 2nd division that was sent by the General to see what was keeping Rukia there. He told me something about a boy with unusual colored-hair. But other than that, I have no clue whatsoever as he began having attacks and coughing up buckets of blood. I do not want to trouble him more with my questions so I have kept them to myself."

Unohana nodded, inwardly troubled about Rukia, Kuchiki Byakuya's sister. (It had been several months since their last talk about him being nicer to Rukia.) But she could not show worry in front of subordinates. After all, they look up to their superiors to be assured and comforted that everything will be fine.

"I'm sure that it is nothing very serious. After all, Rukia is a trustworthy girl," assured Unohana but Kiyone still looked uneasy.

"I heard that they are planning to arrest her," she whispered, afraid that if someone heard, then the words would become more real and not just a rumour.

Unohana did not look surprised because she had also heard about it. "Put your trust in the Central 46. They probably won't hurt anyone they believe to be falsely accused—" She paused, remembering an incident that happened along time ago, even before Kiyone joined the Gotei 13.

She continued, "And your taichou will not let anything happed to Rukia." But as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she immediately thought of Kaien Shiba, Ukitake's former lieutenant, and by the look on Kiyone's face, so did she.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On the way back to her division's headquarters, she tried to think of possible reasons why Rukia had not yet come back to Soul Society. Unohana was one of those people who could hide their emotions rather well but if you knew her well enough, then you would notice her lips pressed slightly together and her eyes narrower than usual, as if in concentration. As she turned around a corner, she was met by unruly, curly brown hair on top of a face covered mostly by thick-framed glasses.

"Unohana-taichou! How nice to see you today," greeted the ever-so-courteous captain of the 5th Division, Aizen Sosuke.

"Good morning, Aizen taichou. Where are you off to?" asked Unohana, noticing that the 5th Division area was in the opposite direction of where he was headed.

"You see, I've heard about Ukitake-taichou's sudden coughing spells and just wanted to see how he's doing," he gave a sincere smile.

"Yes, it is rather inopportune that he should get sick now, what with Rukia's situation in the human world," she said, remembering the words that Kotetsu had said.

"Indeed, I should very much like him to get well soon. I have this unsettling feeling on the bottom of my stomach that something, a change that might be good or very, very bad, is going to happen soon," he said ominously, the smile on his face gone. His deep voice and the caution in his words made Unohana a bit ill at ease.

"Ominous words, Aizen-taichou. I hope then that the change you foresee is something good than very, very bad."

The two of them bowed slightly, exchanged more pleasantries, said their goodbyes, then went their separate ways but the anxiety Unohana felt from Aizen's words never left her even as he rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

For all the hustle and bustle that Unohana had seen earlier that morning, the frenzy did not reach the 4th Division members who were all lounging about the headquarters when Unohana returned from her visit to Ukitake's house. The mellowness, bordering on laziness, filled the atmosphere.

Several shinigami were also complaining about how they hated their weekly turns in cleaning up the sewers underneath Seireitei. Some of them just finished their turns earlier this morning. You could tell by the unpleasant odour lingering around them, even after they have taken a bath.

Unohana paid them little mind, went back to her office and did her paperwork.

After several hours of reading, writing, and signing, Unohana was beginning to consider taking a brief nap. Her head was lolling about and threatening to fall on top of the pile of papers that never seemed to diminish. Fortunately, before she could accidentally knock off her jar of ink and spill its contents all over her work or worse, on her, a knock came at her door.

"Come in," she said trying to conceal the drowsiness from her voice. She immediately recognized the familiar spiritual energy coming from the doorway.

"Ah, greetings, Byakuya, I mean, Kuchiki-taichou," she corrected herself, mentally scolding herself for her slip. But she had to admit, she was surprised to see his handsome face staring at her in her office. He seldom or maybe never comes to see her in her office. After overcoming her surprise, she noticed something odd about him. It was only then that she realized he was not wearing his captain's coat. "May I ask and not be faulted as rude, but what are you doing here, Kuchiki-taichou?"

"Certainly, Unohana-taichou. I came to notify you that our prior tea engagement is to be postponed because I and my lieutenant have been designated by the Central 46 to escort Kuchiki Rukia from the human world to Seireitei. I do not know when we can meet again to have tea but I will send a messenger as soon as my duties release me."

Unohana blinked. She blinked again. _Ah, so that is why he's not wearing his coat. It would not do to alert other shinigami in the human world that something is amiss there, serious enough that they should see a captain retrieving one sole shinigami. But wait, that means the situation is indeed, very serious. _"You were assigned by the general?" she repeated, troubled at what he had spoken. "Are you expected to imprison her in your division should Rukia reveal any sign of struggle?"

Byakuya gave a curt nod and gave a blunt "I will do as I have been tasked to do. Good day, Unohana-taichou."

"Wait, Kuchiki-taichou," she said hurriedly, before he could disappear. "I ask on behalf of Rukia and her captain, Ukitake-taichou, please go easy on her. She is after all your sister, whom you have sworn to protect and call her family." Normally, Unohana was a proud woman, but the situation was not normal in any way. What was the Central 46 thinking? Appointing the brother of an accused shinigami to be the one to capture her?

Byakuya paused for a moment, deliberating if he should share a precious bit of information about himself. If he was talking to anyone but Unohana, he might have just made like a tree and leave without the least hesitation, not bothering to say anything except a polite farewell. But since he _was _talking to her, he thought that there was no harm if he did tell her. Unohana was really just one of the few people, if not the only one he really trusted.

"I have also sworn another oath that I will never sway from the rules ever again. I have disobeyed my elders twice already. I will not disobey my superiors again," he said softly, yet with the strongest conviction.

"Shall you, then, forsake your first oath?" she argued. "Even our authorities make mistakes sometimes. Not all those in power are just because even they do not know all things. They convict others who are innocent and fail to condemn those who are not. It has happened before, or so I believe."

"Such talk is improper for a captain, Unohana-taichou. It is best you keep such treacherous thoughts unto yourself."

"But it is true, is it not? What happened a century or two ago? When you were still a young lad aspiring to become like your grandfather and maybe even greater, a group of respectable shinigami were sentenced to exile because—"

"Yes, I have my memory is still impeccable regarding that episode but it is past and it is for our benefit, and most especially yours, that we do not discuss such things that might remove us from our current positions. Now, I must be on my way to find my lieutenant. We must prepare ourselves. Who knows what Rukia has been doing for the past months and whom she has been consorting with? I bid you good day again, Unohana-taichou."

And with that he turned and left, leaving Unohana seething with annoyance at what had just occurred. She felt that she was being treated as if she was but a child with ill-conceived notions about the world when she was already centuries old, older than she would have liked to reveal. She was older than Byakuya, for heaven's sake! She was captain for far longer than most of the captains of the Gotei 13! How dare he treat her like a child? How dare he? How dare he? How dare he?

After several moments of homicidal thoughts from one so wrongly 'accused', Unohana began to calm down. It would really not do if anyone were to see her in a state of anything but peace and serenity. She had kept that image for so long, she was not about to lose it just because someone of more noble blood came along. Just because he is gorgeous and had fangirl-shinigamis did not mean that he could act as if his opinions were better than hers.

Unohana blinked.

Just because he was _gorgeous?_ Now where did _that_ come from?

_Well, it is true isn't it? _said a part of her.

_Whatever, it is still not fair. _said another part.

_What? That he was concerned for you that you might be __charged with treason and locked up in a cell in 2__nd__ Division?_

_Well…_

_Or the fact that someone as beautiful as he is lives in this world and still has no heir to carry on his beauty?_

_Yes, it is a shame that he has no son or even daughter to inherit his good looks—hey! We are discussing the injustice that he did to me! He is still rude to call my truths as "treacherous". _

_Oh, shut up. You are too proud, Retsu, if you think that _you're _opinions are better than his._

_Well, but… okay, you have a point there. _

_Yes, and if we may, let us stop this childish nonsense of talking to one's self before someone notices and accuses you of having a hollow living inside of you._

_You started it._

_It was just my way of making you see that it is unfair for you to accuse Kuchiki-taichou of being unfair to_ you_ when _you _have this unfair notion that you find _your_ beliefs better than his._

…_Whatever._

_Honestly, I do not get the_ self_-respect that I deserve here. _

The little tirade going on inside Retsu's mind finally stopped and she walked towards the window overlooking the streets outside her division to see if Byakuya could still be in sight but he was already gone. _He probably used shunpo the moment he stepped out of my office, _she thought.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Tite Kubo does. You know the drill. And yeah, this plot is similar to that of Bleach and the only difference is that Unohana and Byakuya are the main characters :D Tite Kubo owns them as well.

A/N: Sorry it took so long... o.O by the way, i changed my pen name to singeing. :)

Not Just A Mother Figure

Chapter 3

Standing in front of an impressive-looking gate which bore the Kuchiki insignia was Unohana Retsu. The working hours were over and the sky was just beginning to turn into that reddish-orange color. Everyone was glad to be going home again and get out of the tense atmosphere that hung over Seireitei since the day Rukia was imprisoned. Unohana was no exception but she received a message from the Kuchiki taichou's red-headed lieutenant, Abarai Renji, earlier that day inviting her to join his captain for tea later that evening. She couldn't say no for fear of offending Byakuya. Plus, she was very curious as to why Byakuya would want to host one of their mini tea parties when his sister was shut away in a cell.

Gathering up the courage to disrupt the heavy silence that was ever-present in the area where the nobility lived, Unohana knocked against the heavy wooden gate. A servant immediately appeared like a wraith and greeted her. He silently led Unohana to the main house. All of Byakuya's servants were alike: silent, timid, indistinguishable and altogether invisible.

As Unohana followed the servant, she couldn't help thinking how useless this was. She knew the Kuchiki estate like the back of her hand. She knew the way well enough that she could walk there even if someone gouged out her eyes. But still, she had to follow the Kuchiki protocol if she wanted to stay on Byakuya's good side. Heaven knows how vexingly stubborn he is about rules and traditions. Sure, there was a time when he dumped all the laws and customs that bound him just to marry a commoner all for the glory of love. But that was a long time ago.

Finally they reached the main house and she was then led deeper and deeper into the mansion. _I don't understand why his house has to be this big. He hardly has anything in it, _she thought. The servant stopped outside a set of double-doors, knocked twice and opened it.

"Master Kuchiki, Unohana-taichou is here," he announced, again uselessly since Unohana's reiatsu was too strong not to take notice of. But then again, she was pretty good at masking her spiritual power to the point that she could sneak up behind unsuspecting captains. She chuckled inwardly recalling an incident wherein she scared Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku. The two were having a mild conversation when she came unnoticed and suddenly spoke up, causing them to jump ten feet up in the air. _So unprofessional_, she thought, thinking that both captains should start acting like their age for once in their ancient lives. _But then again, I was the one who scared them out of their socks. _

It was only then that she noticed that the servant was gone. _Silent, timid, indistinguishable, invisible, _she chanted in her head. She peered inside the room and noticed that, like all the rooms in this house, this one was nearly empty. It was a cavernous hall with polished wooden beams. A sorrowful force pervaded the room. At the far end of the hall, there stood a shrine which kind of looked like a cabinet. At the center, Unohana recognized a picture frame of Hisana Kuchiki. Scented candles were lit beside it and standing in front of the shrine was the 6th Division's captain with his back towards Unohana.

"Or, if there were a sympathy in choice,/ War, death or sickness did lay siege to [love]/ Making it momentary as a sound/ Swift as a shadow, short as any dream/ Brief as lightning in the collied night,/ That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and Earth,/ And ere a man hath power to say "Behold!"/ The jaws of darkness do devour it up./ So quick bright things come to confusion./" she whispered softly to herself, unintentionally remembering these words.

"You have quite the spirit and mettle to quote words from a comedy and liken it to the tragedy of my life," Byakuya spoke, still not taking his eyes off Hisana's shrine.

Unohana's breathing hitched. _Oops._ "Well, there is still some surprising truth in Shakespeare's comedies. Don't you think so?" She smiled, not revealing her anxiety as to how he will react.

"Yes, if only I woke up today and realized that Hisana's death was but a dream and I was still the man who had no care in the world, only her and her alone."

A deadpan look settled into Unohana's face and she bowed her head, casting a shadow over her face. "Forgive me." Those were the only words she could speak. It broke her heart to see him like this. So young and so drained of life. But what terrified her most was how raw his voice sounded_. Up till now, he loves her still._

Byakuya now deemed her worthy to be looked at and so turned his back to the shrine and stared at her meek form. Yes, the proud and dignified Retsu Unohana asking for his forgiveness. How touching.

A few moments passed—Unohana could have sworn that she heard some crickets chirping outside—when a pair of feet appeared in front of her. She looked up to see Byakuya holding his arm out. "Come, I forgive you. I did not ask you to come here to discuss comedies," he said and by the gentle look on his face, she knew she was safe again. She took his arm and they went out of the gloomy hall.

Byakuya led her to the porch that overlooked one of his gardens. There, a servant was standing off near the wall, barely visible in the young evening. On the floor, there were two mats and a set of tea tableware. A cute steaming tea pot was set in the middle of everything. With the smallest of nods, Byakuya dismissed the servant and the two of them sat down on the mats.

When each of them had a sip from their matching teacups, Retsu began to think of how in heaven's name will she voice out the question that has been bugging her ever since she found out that Rukia was being held prisoner. "So Byakuya," she started. She only ever called him by his first name when no one was around and when they were conversing as friends and not as fellow captains. "How are things?"

He looked at her straight in the eye and said "Things are going well." It was as if he was daring her to say the words she really wanted to say. To ask the question straight out and cut to the chase.

Unohana, of course, would not back down from a challenge but still afraid to offend him a second time that night, tried out different questions on the chalkboard inside her mind. _What are you going to do with Rukia? What's up with the general that these desperate measures are to be taken? Is there a trial that will take place for Rukia's innocence? Are you going to defend her? Why is it so dark in your porch?_

"Why is it so dark in your porch?" she asked out loud looking out in the sky to see what was hindering the meager moonlight and starlight. Byakuya imperceptibly furrowed his eyebrows and looked out as well. A bunch of clouds with considerable volume were covering the moon and most of the stars. Unohana looked around the porch and saw there were candles nearby. She performed a simple kidou and lit them up.

A reddish glow flooded the porch and she was satisfied until she saw Byakuya. The candles were located behind him so his face was cast into shadow making him look very sinister. Unohana noticed that her face, on the other hand, was fully lit and this caused her to blush. Not that she thought she was ugly. In fact, she was rather proud of her good looks and was often complimented by shinigamis and sometimes, even hollows. But to have a person with a flawless complexion and exceedingly handsome features study her face was something that could make even the vainest and most narcissistic person self-conscious.

Byakuya suddenly lifted his hand and pointed somewhere behind her. Flames shot out from his finger, lighting up the candles that were situated behind her back. Now, his face was lit up as well but there were still some parts of his face that remained dim. Unohana thought darkly to herself, _how can someone look so good in daylight, moonlight, starlight, candlelight and even in darkness?_

Byakuya looked at Unohana and his eyes were asking if there was anything else that she wished to know. She couldn't help but feel as if he was mocking her.

"I talked to your lieutenant this morning about Rukia," she said, giving up trying to beat around the bush. "He said that she is going to be…" her words died in her throat and she bore a troubled expression as that of a mother hen's worrying about her baby chicks.

"Executed," Byakuya continued for her. "Yes, it is true. From twenty-five days, it is now moved to fourteen days before her sentence is carried out. And just this afternoon she was removed from my division and deposited into the Shrine of Penitence."

"The Shrine of Penitence?" she repeated, not believing that Rukia had done anything so serious that she would have to be locked up in that place.

"Before anything, Unohana-taichou, please promise me one thing."

"Promise you what, Kuchiki-taichou?" she asked, suspicious, even using his title to exemplify the gravity of the situation.

"Promise me that you will not do anything to stop Rukia's execution." He said it as cold as you can get in the middle of a blizzard with absolutely no clothes on.

Unohana's eyes widened, disbelievingly. It was as if time stopped and even the beating of her heart slowed down. His piercingly bright eyes were staring at her, unyielding. _Did he just say…? I know he has sworn to obey the rules but would he go so far as to allow his sister to be executed?_

"I don't understand. Kuchiki—Byakuya, why would you ask such a thing? Are you not planning on asking for a trial to prove Rukia's guilt of doing something wrong?" she asked, not bothering to hide the tremor in her voice, since it was just Byakuya she was talking to.

"Are you frightened?" he asked with a small frown on his face.

"Yes! Of course I am. How could I not? Your sister is going to be killed without even a trial! No one even knows exactly what her crime is. Yes, she has given a mortal boy shinigami powers but I do not think that that is a serious offense—serious enough to be punished by execution."

"It does not concern you—"

"How dare you say it does not concern me? She is my friend, is she not? You are my friend! I am a captain and every lower ranking shinigami is partly under my responsibility. Should I not be concerned if a soldier is about to lose her life? Even more so when there is no substantial proof of her treason or whatever it is she is convicted of."

Byakuya gave no reply. He merely closed his eyes, probably not wanting Unohana to see something that was not meant for anyone to see.

"Please consider this. There is not much time left before the day of Rukia's execution. I'm sure you have heard of the attempted trespassing of a group of strangers through one of Seireitei's gates—the group that Ichimaru-taichou failed to eliminate. It is highly likely that they have come to rescue Rukia. I have heard from Lieutenant Abarai that she has made some friends during her stay in the human world. What will you do if they indeed tried to rescue her?"

"I will do what I must. I will eliminate anyone who tries to stop the execution. That is why I am asking you to promise me this. Do not do anything for Rukia. I do not want to harm you. I know that you are a capable warrior but I do not desire to cross swords with you," he said with a calm veneer and Unohana detected a dejected yet determined look in his eyes_. He already thinks that I will oppose him_, she thought.

Unohana was silent and she did not know how many minutes passed when she spoke again. "I promise." She did not really know why she agreed to him but there are only a few things that she could refuse him. Maybe even none. No matter how opposed she is toward his decisions, in the end, she knew that she will let him win.

Byakuya who had his eyes closed, merely nodded and said, "Thank you."

"This is because of your oath, isn't it? What about your other one? The one you gave to Hisana?"

"I fulfilled it, did I not? She asked me to adopt Rukia so that she can call me her brother. I did that. Even if it was against the wishes of my counselors, I still did it. That is why I made the second oath: to stop disobeying the wishes of my parents and to always follow the rules."

"How can you keep your promise to Hisana when Rukia is dead? She cannot call you brother anymore," she argued.

Byakuya was silent again and looked up at the dark cloudy sky.

"Hisana knew that you would be lonely when she is gone. That is why she asked you to find her sister. So that you would have someone to love," she said. She had the gentlest smile on her face and she tenderly gazed at Byakuya.

Byakuya turned his focus back on Unohana and contemplated her eyes. "I love you. You know that."

Unohana for some reason forgot to breathe. _What the?_

"You are the closest thing I have for a mother. I barely knew my parents. All I had was grandfather. But the first time I saw you, I knew that you would love me like I was your son." He continued on softly. "And you do, right?"

Before Byakuya was done speaking, a huge gust of wind snuffed out the candles and the moon chose that very moment to come out behind those pesky clouds. Moonlight struck Byakuya's features and Unohana could only think that he was more beautiful in the moonlight that in the candlelight.

The blow of his extraordinary beauty was almost enough for her to overlook the small tugging of her heart, the painful squeezing of her lungs and the twisting of her stomach when she heard those words. _Am I just a mother to you?_

But before she could say anything, two black butterflies landed on the captains.

"All captains are to report to 1st Division immediately. General Yamamoto-Genryūsa requests your presence."

The two captains stood up and without delay, shunpo-ed towards the 1st Division, leaving Byakuya's question dangling in the air, still unanswered.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana stood next to Kuchiki as they waited for Ichimaru-taichou to arrive. The tension hung in the air like a heavy curtain and everyone had not said a word since they've arrived.

Unohana closed her eyes, breathed in deeply and pondered the words that Byakuya just told her. '_I love you. You know that._ _You are the closest thing I have for a mother. I barely knew my parents. All I had was grandfather. But the first time I saw you, I knew that you would love me like I was your son. And you do, right?'_

Did she?

Unohana thought, _Of course I do! If I had anything more than that of a mother's love for him, then that would make me a pedophile! _Her serene expression turned into a horrified one.

Unfortunately, Byakuya noticed. "What is it?"

_How does he notice this when his eyes are closed?! _She thought self-consciously as she shook her head.

Even though his voice was low, heads still turned towards their direction, curious as to how they were willing to talk when the general looked absolutely furious. Actually, he looked pretty calm but the temperature kept on rising. As far as the captains knew, only the general had a fire-based zanpakutō. Hitsugaya-taichou tried his best to give off some coolness to lessen the oppressive warmth in the room but not too much that the general would notice.

A few moments lapsed again when the front doors of the 1st division meeting hall opened to reveal a nonchalant Ichimaru Gin. He was wearing his usual unnerving smile.

"Everyone's here? Alright then, we will now begin with the subject of our meeting." The general spoke, no trace of anger hidden inside his voice.

"Captain of the 3rd Division, Ichimaru Gin."

"What's going on? Is it really that serious to call everyone here? Captains from around Soul Society, did you really come back here just for me?" He asked using his usual caustic tone. "What's this? The Captain of the 13th division isn't here."

Unohana looked and indeed, the spot where Ukitake-taichou always stood was empty. Then she remembered that he was sick.

The other captains were now talking and arguing. Zaraki-taichou went on about how Ichimaru-taichou was to blame for the present danger that the intruders presented. After more spats, a disgusted sound came from the general and he ordered them to quit fighting each other.

"Now, let's see, have you been informed of the reason why you were summoned?" the general asked Ichimaru-taichou. "You acted alone without permission and you failed to capture your target. That is unusual for a captain! I would like to hear your explanation. That is the reason we are here tonight." At that moment, he chose to open his eyes and all cheerfulness left him. "So, do you have anything to say, Ichimaru?"

"I have nothing to say," he said, still as sunny as ever.

"What?" the general asked, incredulous to his response.

"I made a mistake. I won't try to justify my actions," he said sheepishly.

"Alright. You will be punished however—" before the general could reveal his punishment, Aizen Sosuke suddenly spoke up.

"Hold on a second, Ichimaru—" and before _he_ could ask whatever it he wanted to ask, an alarm broke out.

"Alert! Alert!" A voice called out. "Intruders in the city! All shinigami report to their stations!"

"What?!"

"Intruders?"

"Can it be the same ones as before?"

And before anyone could say Kentucky Fried Chicken, Kenpachi was gone, on the hunt for the mysterious intruders. No one could blame him. This is the most action that has ever occurred during the last century.

"It can't be helped. The meeting will be postponed for now. We will decide on Ichimaru's punishment later. Everyone, please return to your defense stations now," said the general as everyone began to file out of the room. Unohana was about to leave the room when he overheard the words exchanged between Captains Aizen and Ichimaru.

"The alarm sure came at the perfect time," said Aizen-taichou in a low voice, but loud enough that everyone could hear him.

"What do you mean? I'm afraid I don't understand," Ichimaru-taichou said, with a smile still plastered on his face.

"Do you think you can actually get away with this? It is best not to underestimate me." Ending on that note, they parted ways.

Unohana looked back and saw that Hitsugaya-taichou was watching their brief altercation. _I wonder what that was all about._

She glanced at Kuchiki-taichou to see if he also overheard Aizen and Ichimaru's conversation. He did. _I'll ask him about that later_, she decidedbut remembered _their_ last conversation and blushed. _Yeah, maybe much much later. _

And with that, the captains hurried away to their respective headquarters.


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: i do not own Bleach.

A/N: I've noticed that this chapter does not contain much Byakuya in it but please bear with me! We'll see him soon.. i hope :D

Not Just A Mother Figure

Chapter 4

_Ginrei Kuchiki, Captain of the 6__th__ Division, was known for his elegant tea parties. Notable captains and lieutenants from the Gotei 13 and a lot of nobles were always invited and none have ever refused to attend, with the exception of a person here and there with some serious injuries, illnesses or other. Besides, no one could resist the lure of free aristocratic food and exotic teas imported from places people have never heard of before. Today though, only a handful of party invitations were given out to celebrate the 6__th__ birthday of Ginrei's grandchild, Byakuya Kuchiki. _

_The __sun was showing off his golden hair and radiant smile and there was not a cloud in the sky despite the fact that it was January, sometime in the middle of winter. The party was taking place in a parlor that opened at the side towards the Kuchiki's biggest garden. A thin sheet of virgin white snow was spread over the flora like a bride's veil. And even though there were no flowers present, the garden still looked picturesque in its own frosty way. _

_Among those privileged to attend another one of Kuchiki's expensive tea parties was the 4__th__ Division captain, Unohana Retsu. She had just arrived a few moments ago and was observing the celebration from the sidelines. Captain Hirako Shinji was helping himself with a mountain-load of calorific desserts while his lieutenant, Aizen Sosuke, was content with just drinking a hot cup of tea. Captain Ukitake was unsurprisingly with Captain Kyouraku and they were mingling with some of the other guests and occasionally laughing out loud at a joke or some funny anecdote. Captain Kuchiki, wearing his ever-present scarf which was probably worth more than everything in the entire room, was talking to General __Yamamoto-Genryūsai, maybe about some tips or concoctions that they've heard from friends on how to reduce wrinkles and fine lines. A small orchestra was playing soft, soothing music in a corner._

_Unohana __silently thanked her lucky stars that her skin still retained its youthful attributes even though she was hundreds of years older than ninety-five percent of the people in the room. Being a healer really had its perks. _

'_This is not really a children's party,' she thought, starting to wonder where the celebrant was. And as if her thoughts were heard, Ginrei suddenly turned to the wide doorway, motioning for someone to come in. _

"_Friends, relatives and fellow shinigami, let me introduce to you the pride of the Kuchiki family, Byakuya Kuchiki."_

_Out stepped a child __with shining jet black hair and wide, cautious, grey eyes. He gave of an impression of delicateness and gracefulness that was uncommon for someone his age. He held his head high even though he was barely three and a half feet tall. His hair was also a little too long for a child but it suited him well._

"_A pleasure to meet you all," said a tiny voice and Unohana was relieved to know that there was still a part in him aside from his appearance that proved he was still a child._

'_So formal,' she wondered and asked herself if all children from the nobility were like this. But she suddenly recalled a conversation she had overheard before. _

"_It's such a shame that Byakuya Kuchiki lost his parents," someone had said. "Now all he has left is his grandfather."_

"_What were they doing out in the forest anyway? With no protection or guards! They should have been more careful," another had replied._

"_Accidents happen, you know. A little slip here, a little stumble there, and before you know it, you're re-enacting the story of little Jack and Jill."_

"_Did they really fall off a cliff? I've heard that they were chased by vagrants who recognized them as people belonging to the rich."_

"_Actually, that's also part of the story. They were being pursued and it was a dark night. They probably couldn't see a few meters ahead of them. They were running on solid ground and the next thing they knew, they were soaring into the air and falling straight down to the sharp pointy rocks waiting for them at the bottom. A very violent death for a well-to-do couple."_

"_Are you making this up? I think you've put in too much drama…"_

_And that had been the last thing Unohana heard but one thing was certain, Byakuya's parents were gone. And now, she looked upon this child, so young and full of potential __but already bereft of his parents' love, and she was filled with inexplicable compassion and overwhelming affection for him. _

_The band of guests who surrounded him the moment he entered the room were now beginning to disperse. Unohana chose this moment to acquaint themselves to each other. As she neared him, he felt her drawing presence immediately and turned to face her. He looked up to see who she was. His expression was so adorable that Unohana resisted the urge to cuddle him. His eyes, she could now see, still had a hint of innocence and traces of blue. 'Yes,' she thought. "He's still young. There are many more evils that he has not seen.'_

"_You're pretty."_

_Unohana blinked. She sure as day didn't see that one coming. "Thank you, Byakuya," she smiled._

"_Why do you braid your hair like that?"_

"_Oh my, you__ are quite a curious little prince. I braid my hair in front of me because, well, it's unique and I just like to be different," she said, not quite sure if that was the truth._

_Byakuya__ nodded solemnly as if someone just explained to him the miracle of birth. But then his eyes widened and he bowed low. "I'm sorry. I forgot to ask you for your name."_

"_That's alright, Byakuya dear." She placed her hands on his small shoulders and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "My name is Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4__th__ Division."_

_Byakuya slowly raised his head and looked at her with wonder. "You're a healer, then. I am honoured to meet you Unohana-taichou." He bowed his head again._

_Unohana let out a small laugh and said "I appreciate your admiration. Not everyone is as supportive of us healers as you are."_

"_What do you mean?" he asked, tilting his head to one side, which reminded Unohana of a puppy._

"_Something you'll understand clearly when you grow up and become a shinigami. That is what you want to be, right?"_

_Byakuya smiled brightly, his grin even more brilliant than the sun outside. "Yes, Captain Unohana! I want to be a shinigami to protect the ones I love."_

"_What a virtuous ambition! I'm sure you'll make a splendid captain one day," she said, delighted in this child. He was becoming dearer and dearer to her heart. _

_Before anyone could say another word, a girl with a playful voice appeared._

"_Hello, dear little Byakuya. How is my favourite playmate doing? Greetings, Unohana-taichou."_

"_Oh, how nice to meet you, Shihouin Yoruichi," Unohana replied, turning toward the daughter of the Shihouin family. She then noticed the strange look on Byakuya's face which resembled something close to discomfiture and irritation._

"_Demon cat," he mumbled. _

_Yoruichi just laughed off what he said, messed up his hair. She strode away, probably in search of her friend, Kisuke Urahara._

_Byakuya then turned back to Unohana with eager eyes. "Please, come with me," he said, taking Unohana's hand with his tiny one and began leading her to the exit of the parlor…_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana woke up from her dream to the call of her zanpakutō, Minazuki. She looked around and saw her sword's spirit lounging beside her bed. Right now, Minazuki was a smaller version than her shikai but she was still fairly big. Her tail was wagging around the room, threatening to knock one of Retsu's possessions and send it crashing to the floor. And even though her room was reasonably spacious, Minazuki still occupied three quarters of the room.

_Retsu__, be on your guard. There's an evil running wild in Seireitei this morning. A tragedy is happening. _

_What do you mean, Minazuki?_

Minazuki turned her head away from Unohana and didn't say anything more than that. Unohana sighed. It was another one of Minazuki's presentiments. She carefully got out of her bed, her long black hair trailing behind her back. She came to her windows and opened them to let some fresh air in. Down below, she could see little shinigamis minding their own businesses. It was quite late now and the sun was already halfway towards its zenith.

After they were dismissed by the general yesterday night or maybe earlier this morning, Unohana came back to her quarters to find her lieutenant scolding her for staying out too long and was persuaded to take a short nap. Isane said that she could take charge of the 4th division while Unohana rested. Unohana, seeing that no one was injured yet, took this opportunity to take repose before the fighting gets serious even though she did not really need to sleep. She told Isane to wake her up the moment someone was terribly injured. But she had slept for 5 hours now and still, Isane had not yet come to wake her up.

She gazed up at the sky and drank in the warm sunlight. She harked back her dream. It was the first time she met Byakuya, if she recalled correctly. She thought of how motherly her actions were and how wide the age difference between them was.

_So__ maybe that's why he thinks I'm his mother, _she thought wryly.

Ten minutes past and still, there were no signs of Isane.

_Maybe these R__yoka are a peaceful folk. _

Then, without warning, there was a scream. Unohana turned her head towards the direction of the sound and felt that it was coming from Lieutenant Hinamori. She turned to Minazuki to ask if this was what she was talking about but the soul cutter was already back in her sheath.

_Maybe I spoke too soon._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana was troubled. She had seen countless of dead bodies before. A healer can do miracles and heal even the most gravely injured but one cannot prevent deaths, no matter how skilled she was. But this time, it was different. This time, the owner of the dead body is a captain. _Was_ a captain.

Standing in front of her were Captain Sajin Komamura and Captain Kaname Tōsen. They came after they heard that Captain Aizen was murdered. Nobody could believe he was dead. Unohana could not blame them.

"Yes, it is true. Aizen Sōsuke has passed away," she said, her eyes not meeting the two other captains, ashamed that she had to be the one to tell them. She told them that the one who will replace Aizen-taichou will be decided by the forty-six central governors and the taishyuukai after the conflict has been resolved. "For the meantime, please return to your posts. I, too, will return to the front line."

And with that, the two captains thanked her and left, leaving her with the dead body of Aizen Sōsuke. Unohana would not admit it but she was chagrined and confounded. Chagrined because she could not save him. Confounded because there was something wrong with his body but she could not put her finger on it.

She placed a white sheet over the dead body, irrevocably declaring that there was nothing else she could do. But Aizen's bloody chest, cold, unseeing eyes, and dirty haori were still cemented in Unohana's mind.

She needed a break badly. The corpse was already giving off a pungent smell and she was sure that she was starting to smell bad, too. She stepped out of the room and walked off in search for other patients that she could be of use to. Striding down the wooden hallways, Unohana started analyzing Aizen's death. Could it be the ryoka? No, Aizen is too powerful to get killed by some humans. Only another captain could kill… She stopped abruptly, eyes wide and startled.

_Only a captain could kill__ another captain_…

_Could __someone from the Gotei 13 really do that? _

She shivered and continued walking. There was only one man that she could think of who was cold-hearted enough to do so. Captain Ichimaru Gin. She shook her head, scolding herself for accusing someone without any proof. She felt that there was something deeper and darker hidden behind this murder. She swore to herself that she would solve this mystery.

Unohana rounded a corner and met a surprised Isane. In truth, it doesn't really take much to take her lieutenant by surprise. Isane's hair seemed messier than usual and her eyes looked equally distressed.

"What is it, Isane?" Unohana asked, trying to calm her lieutenant with her voice.

"It's Kuchiki-taichou—" Unohana sensed it immediately even before Isane finished her statement.

Unohana closed her eyes and felt for Byakuya's spiritual pressure. It seemed that he was not attempting to restrain his reiatsu. Unohana almost missed the other people near him. Hanatarou Yamada. Rukia Kuchiki. And another soul whom she did not recognized. She began to put the pieces together and figured that the stranger was one of the Ryoka and he was attempting to rescue Rukia. Immediately after she thought of this, she felt Byakuya do an unbelievable thing. He released his shikai. _Oh dear God, he's going to kill him_.

Unohana opened her eyes again and looked at the increasingly worried Isane. "Please, send someone to the Shrine of Penitence to collect the injured. Quickly." Isane nodded once and disappeared at once. Unohana could not stand anyone, friend or foe, ally or enemy, dying. She would probably even heal someone who intended to murder her. She contemplated back to the promise she made to Byakuya. _I promised I would not do anything to stop Rukia's execution_, she thought. _Technically, healing the intruders is not stopping the execution… _Unohana remembered that Hanatarou was there. He may be able to keep the ryoka alive but what was he doing there?

She closed her eyes once again and was surprised to feel other people's presence that were surrounding Byakuya. Ukitake-taichou. And another soul that she could not identify. And…Yoruichi Shihouin?! _My, my, will the surprises never end?_

She shook her head faintly and scolded herself that there were more important things she needed to tend to. Byakuya could take care of his own problems. Besides, Ukitake-taichou was there and he probably could handle it if the situation got out of hand.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Lieutenant Abarai has broken out of the infirmary."

Unohana looked at the apologetic face of an officer from her division. Abarai Renji was treated for his injuries which he got from a fight with one of the Ryoka. It was a fight he lost. Captain Kuchiki came in to tell her division to keep him locked up because his defeat was inexcusable. And now, someone was telling her that he has escaped.

"Will you send a search party for him, Captain Unohana?"

Unohana thought about it and said no. Renji had a close friendship with Rukia but was now very distant to her, or so she was told. _I would like to see what he chooses to do now_, she thought. Her instincts were telling her that there was more to their relationship than meets the eye. She also had a feeling that the crimson-haired lieutenant was about to defy his captain.

"What if Captain Kuchiki finds out, captain?" the shinigami asked, eyes wide and face pale as he began to think of the many possible ways that the noble captain could punish him for letting his lieutenant go. Unohana perceived his alarm and chuckled inwardly.

"If Captain Kuchiki has any right at all, then it is me whom he should reprimand," she said smiling, hoping that would placate her subordinate. He looked up at her and blushed madly. A halo of light graced her bluish black hair and her ancient midnight blue eyes were dancing mischievously at the thought of challenging Byakuya. She was the fourth division's beautiful warrior-angel, comforting and yet, terrifying at times. "There is no need to worry."

The shinigami bowed abruptly and when he looked up, he wore the most brilliant smile, his face still a tad pink. "Thank you, captain." He disappeared on the spot.

Unohana now turned to another person inside the room. He was wrapped up in bandages from head to toe and had been unconscious since the moment he was brought into the infirmary. From his reiatsu, she could tell that he was an outsider. Sure, he had some spiritual energy but it was amorphous. He was evidently not trained to control his powers. But still, he survived senbonzakura's shikai and that was saying something. Unohana's thoughts turned to the owner of the said katana. She guessed that he did not really put some effort to kill this Ryoka. If he did then this mummy-looking patient would not have been brought to the fourth division. He would have been sliced, diced, minced, and shredded into a million indistinguishable pieces and nobody, not even her, would have been able put Humpty Dumpy together again. She had a feeling that Byakuya will still wreak a lot more destruction before all this Ryoka business was over.

There came a polite knock and she turned toward the door. She was greeted by the sight of Ukitake's third seat officers, Kiyone and Sentarou. Behind them was a short black-haired shinigami looking sheepish with his head hanging low.

"Welcome back, Hanatarou Yamada," she said, her face grave and stern. The boy stepped out from Kiyone and Sentarou's shadows looking like he was about to be sentenced to death.

Sentarou appeared rigid as he took out a crumpled piece of paper with a message hastily written. He read or, more appropriately, shouted its contents while Kiyone looked like she would rather be anywhere else but there. Sentarou went on and on about how Hanatarou was kidnapped by the Ryoka and was forced to do their bidding. He had somehow led them through Seireitei to the place where Rukia was imprisoned. Ukitake-taichou asked that he be punished with mercy.

"…THE ABOVE IS A MESSAGE FROM CAPTAIN UKITAKE OF THE 13TH DIVISION!" Sentarou finally ended his shout-fest.

"I see," Unohana said and the three shinigamis relaxed their shoulders in relief but stiffened again when she continued. "But because of your help, Hanatarou, the Ryoka caused a lot more damage than they otherwise could have alone. Your responsibility over the decision to help them simply cannot be ignored." She paused, waiting to see his reaction. "Do you understand what I have said, squad leader of the 14th squad of the top class paramedic team, and 7th seat officer of the 4th division, Yamada Hanatarou?"

He finally gathered up his courage to look up and meet his captain's eyes and wished he hadn't. Unohana's eyes were devoid of their usual twinkle and reflected her disappointment.

"You are detained until I say otherwise." She then inclined her head toward the two other shinigami. "Thank you. If that is all, you may go."

The two third seat officers glanced at each other, bowed and left. Unohana looked back at Hanatarou's meek form. "Is there anything else that you wish to say, Hanatarou?"

He shook his head dejectedly and lowered his eyes on the floor again. Unohana sighed inwardly and began leading him to a cell. She didn't mean to be so strict but if someone found out that she had let him go easily, then people will start to question her leadership. They'd think she was partial to her own subordinates. Unohana could not risk that.

They finally came to an empty room with a single barred window and a simple mattress on top of a wooden bed. Hanatarou stepped inside and mumbled something to Unohana as she locked him in. She smiled softly at his words.

"Sorry, taichou_…"_

_You are forgiven, Hanatarou, _she thought, heading back to the infirmary's lobby.

Despite all her severity, she loved Hanatarou and all the shinigami in her division. She felt an attachment to all of them that can only be explained because she was their leader, the one they all look up to like little ducklings following their mother duck. She held them all in affection so deep that she would do anything to protect them. Every single 4th division member was under her umbrella of protection. Sure, they were mistreated sometimes by burly, crass shinigamis but they were never in any danger. And being the medical relief squad, they were often spared from head-on battles and were saved for the healings required after the fights were over. Not that she thought her officers were cowards or inept fighters. It's just that combat was not their forte. Healers heal, not wound.

_Maybe that is how I feel towards Byakuya,_ she thought. _Maybe I do see him as a son. I want to protect him always, though he might not think that he needs it. I love him. That much is true. But now, whenever I see him, I am overwhelmed by something I cannot explain. It is like I opened my eyes and suddenly noticed that he has grown into man. And a very handsome one at that. It's like I've gone back through puberty again._

Unohana exhaled softly and closed her eyes. _Whatever this feeling is, I hope it will go away soon. I am too old for this kind of sentiment and my position will not allow it. I am first and foremost a captain. Not a blushing teenager, for heaven's sake. _


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach.

Author's Note: Thank you to all the people who wrote comments and wanted me to update this story. I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this. I actually thought of giving up on this story but i felt encouraged by those who continue to read my story. your reviews really mean a lot to me xD thank you oh so much.

Not Just A Mother Figure

Chapter 5

There was silence. All of Seireitei was still. The sense of expectation hung in the air. Even the morning sky was missing its cheer. Flat, gray clouds spread over all of Soul Society but not entirely succeeding in blotting out the sun. Shards of light broke through the clouds' melancholic barrier. But still, it was dark.

Unohana stood on the balcony of the 4th Division, trying to ignore the ominous vibes that was washing over her. Trying, but failing.

_I know this feeling. This is the deep breath before the plunge. The calm before the storm. The whimper of a baby before the eruption of cries, shrieks, and howls. _

Her hand instinctively went up to the hilt of her sword that was strapped to her back, making sure that it was with her.

_Better be prepared for anything, Minazuki._

_Always, _was the only reply she received. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of thunder and lightning in the air.

Today was the day of Rukia's execution.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Time was running out. Seconds were ticking by. In various parts of Seireitei, fights were taking place between shinigami and ryoka. Captains and their lieutenants were asked to attend the execution on Soukyoku Hill where the infamous Soukyoku was located. This weapon has the strength of one million zanpakutous with the power to evaporate the soul, fully obliterating the convicted shinigami.

Unohana-taichou was walking down a lane, heading toward the damned hill. Her lieutenant, Isane, followed behind her, shoulders slouching slightly. Isane's imperfect posture was the result of constant teasing for her being too tall. Her cute braids were bobbing at the side of her head and anxiety was etched all over her face. She, along with many other shinigami, was against Rukia's sentence but had too little power to change it.

"What's wrong, Isane? You have barely said two words since we've set out from the infirmary," Unohana said, knowing exactly what was bothering the periwinkle-haired girl. But she felt the worry and stress that was bubbling and building up inside her lieutenant and she wanted her to release them. It would not do well for Isane to be caught off guard and be distracted by her mutinous thoughts.

"Uh… N-nothing really, taichou. I was just… you know, thinking," she stuttered, trying to collect her thoughts and form them into something coherent.

"Thinking about the execution, I know," Unohana said, steeling her self to be the dutiful captain she should be, obedient to the decisions of the general and the Central 46. Though she had to admit, it was hard to quell the doubts and suspicions she had herself.

Isane looked everywhere except at Unohana and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "Yes, taichou. I just don't think it's right. Rukia is one of the sweetest people I know and I'm positive that she would never do anything terrible. Well, not as bad as being sentenced to be executed by the Soukyoku!"

Unohana let Isane continue her tirade, nodding ambiguously in between sentences. Five minutes later of twisting and turning through the streets of the city, Isane spluttered to a stop.

The raven-haired captain took a deep breath and began _her_ speech. "Isane, I know that you disapprove of the Central 46's verdict but the General is following it and like it or not, he is our leader and we must follow his orders. We must show respect to our elders. General Yamamoto has been around much longer than you and I have. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. As the saying goes, if you cannot command, then you must obey."

Unohana didn't like to say it but she had to. It was the only explanation she could give on why she was not fighting against the execution. Of course, she could not tell her lieutenant that she promised a certain captain with hair as dark and beautiful as midnight that she would not try to stop Rukia's execution. She was afraid of what Isane would think of her.

_Isane would probably think that I have something going on with Byakuya and that we have a relationship but really, we don't. But now, she probably thinks that I'm a cold-blooded, heartless and corrupt captain who was afraid to risk anything that would threaten her to relinquish her position._

Curiously, the prospect of being called heartless terrified her less than being thought of as love struck.

Isane didn't say anything else. Her lips were pressed together and her eyes were fascinated with the patterns on the ground. They turned around another corner and were greeted by an immense hill with high towers stationed at its side. The Soukyoku hill never failed to give out a striking impression. It stood right smack at the heart of the city, where everyone can see. It was tremendously forbidding for what it stood for: retribution for convicts, criminals, villains, law breakers and felons. Shinigami, important or disposable, strong or weak, wise or foolish, all shiver at the thought of the Soukyoku. The idea of something far greater than themselves, with inconceivable power, was not very pleasant for them. After all, they were supposedly called "death gods".

Unohana was about to comment on how nice the view must be on top of that hill when something caught her eye.

_Is that? No, it couldn't possibly be…_

Her eyes widened and she almost let out a gasp. She turned to Isane who was still deep in thought with her eyes fixated on the ground.

"Isane," Unohana started, hoping that her voice would not incite any suspicion in her lieutenant. "Please go ahead of me. There is something I need to check."

"B-but taichou—," she suddenly stopped herself, remembering her place. "Yes, ma'am." She disappeared without another word. Unlike her captain, she always used shunpo. But today, for the sake of being with her captain, she walked. Isane loved Unohana so much that she would suffer a lot of things just to please her—even walking a mile for half an hour when she could just shunpo away and get to her destination in a single second.

Unohana waited for a moment or two to make sure that Isane was far, far away before she herself disappeared.

In a vast courtyard surrounded by towering stone pillars on opposite sides, a lone, prone figure was soaking in a dirty puddle of blood. His long, dark, red hair was splayed all around, mixing and camouflaging with the blood. Beside him laid a broken sword. He did not appear to be breathing.

A few paces away, a long piece of stained cloth was fluttering in the breeze. It was doing a dance of some sort, the way smoke moves after the flame of a candle has been doused.

Unohana reappeared beside the floating fabric and caught it tentatively with her hand. She inspected it carefully and was surprised to discover that it was the famous Kuchiki scarf. She shook her head, eyebrows raised up high, still trying to process this information. There was half-dried stuff in a shade between carmine and burgundy all over it. She took a whiff. There were traces of Byakuya, clean, soapy with a hint of mint and trees. There was also a sharp metallic smell.

_Blood. _Her gaze turned to the dead or dying shinigami lying on the floor. _His blood. He probably decided to save Rukia after all._

She closed her eyes and urged herself not to sigh. This was obviously Byakuya's doing. Senbonzakura's power and energy was still tingling in the air, like a buzzing bee you could not see. His reiatsu was evident all over the place. But what was his scarf doing here? She quickly folded the stained cloth and placed it inside her shinigami suit, making sure that all the stained parts were hidden so as not to stain her clothes. She turned again to Abarai Renji, whose reiatsu was draining second by second.

_Hold on, Lieutenant Abarai. _She prayed urgently, hoping she was not too late. She wasted enough time inspecting Kuchiki's scarf. She cast a quick spell and banished most of the pools of blood. She knelt down beside the still bleeding body and carefully turned him over and did a quick surveillance. He had a hole in his hand, broken ribs, a broken leg, and a few dislocated joints. There were major and minor cuts on his face and chest and practically all over his body. He was internally bleeding in several organs. She checked his wrist to see if there was still a pulse and was heartened to find that it was there, though faint. Pushing her sleeves back, she began the healing process.

A few long minutes later, she was done closing up all his internal wounds, fixing up his ribs, putting back loosened joints and was starting to heal an alarmingly deep wound at the side of his torso when she felt the presence of two shinigami heading her way. She suddenly stopped her healing and looked to the direction of the incoming shinigami. She recognized one as Hanatarou and the other as part of another division. She disappeared without a single sound and reappeared on top of a far tower at the end of the courtyard. Right at that moment, two relatively short people came into view. Hanatarou was with a shinigami who had some colorful beads twisted with his black hair.

Unohana narrowed her eyes.

_He broke out of his cell._

Hanatarou would never have broken out of that cell without outside help. She looked at the unnamed shinigami. He must have helped him, she guessed. She watched as they began taking care of Lieutenant Abarai. With a sigh of relief, she understood that they were there to heal Renji and not help anymore ryoka. Allowing her self a small, proud smile, Unohana vanished, heading towards the Soukyoku.

Hanatarou would break the rules to save someone in need. Even though he was not the strongest fighter, not the most capable healer, and not the brightest bulb in the box, he did something that Unohana couldn't. He was a hero. Unohana remembered Renji and the sacrifices he made. _They are both heroes._

_If only I didn't promise to_ him, _then I could do what's right, too, and save Rukia, _she thought remorsefully, shunpo-ing up the stairs leading to the execution grounds, taking a hundred of steps at a time.

_How will you save her then, Retsu, _argued that exasperating voice that she couldn't seem to get rid of.

_I would think that doing something is better than doing nothing at all._

_Even with force? You are not capable of carnage and violence._

_There are other ways of saving someone from being cremated. _

_Like what? Exile? That is what the former captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13 did when they were about to be executed._

_Of course not! Nothing as desperate as that. Matters can be resolved the way they did in the good old days. _

_Wake up call! Back in the good old days, a flick of the sword and the matter was resolved. Your opponent is dead. Nothing has changed since then._

_I refuse to believe that. I trust in the General's good sense. If only I can convince him of giving Rukia a proper trial—_

_Uhm… Let's see, now. That would be breaking your promise._

_But you asked me how I would save her if I never promised in the first place!!_

_Then why did you promise in the first place?!_

Unohana halted mid-step. _Why _did_ I promise? _She took another step and found herself face to face with a forest. She sped past the trees quickly and found herself on a wide plateau. At the far end of the vast wasteland, a huge halberd could be seen. Standing off to the side was a procession of captains and lieutenants, looking like tiny white and black chess pieces in a row. She quickly came near them and stood at the side of her lieutenant. It was obvious that Isane wanted to ask her what she did but was trying to find the most appropriate words. Standing nearer to the Soukyoku were the General, his lieutenant, Rukia Kuchiki and her escort guards.

Down the row, Unohana could hear Captain Soifon mumbling about how bad the attendance was. Indeed, she inconspicuously looked around her and noted that a lot of head officers were not around. The 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 8th divisions were here. The 5th, 11th, and 12th divisions' absences were understandable since one of them lost a captain, one of them was too busy fighting other people, and the last was probably too engrossed with one of his bizarre experiments. Byakuya was probably cleaning up after his fight with Renji and would be arriving late. But she couldn't understand why Hitsugaya-taichou and Ukitake-taichou were not around. Ukitake had just recovered from his latest bout of tuberculosis, or so she was told by her paramedics. Hitsugaya was a very responsible boy—young man—who made up for his lieutenant's lackadaisical personality.

In truth, she was getting suspicious. Ukitake might have gotten another attack but for Hitsugaya-taichou? She didn't even feel the devastating cold power of his sword anywhere so it meant that he was not using his katana's shikai or bankai. Yet. He could just be using his sword and hasn't released it yet. Unohana began to search for his reiatsu all over Seireitei.

_North Gate? Not there. South Gate? No. East or West? Nuh-uh. Libraries? Nope. He was not in his division. He's… not in anyone's division. Where could he be in this time of crisis if he's not fighting with the ryoka? His lieutenant also appears to be missing… It's like they've vanished or—wait a minute._

There was one place she hadn't checked yet. The Central 46 Chambers.

At that same instant, a figure was seen in the distance. It turned out to be the brother of the convict about to be executed. And sure enough, his scarf was missing.

Everyone in the scene saw how Rukia's eyes visibly lit up when he arrived but he merely went to stand beside Unohana, folded his hands as if in prayer and wore the most indifferent look. The light in Rukia's eyes quickly died as she watched her brother nod at the executioner.

The general was leaning on his tall wooden staff and was asking Rukia if she had any last words. Rukia said none except that she would like to request the General to let her Ryoka friends leave in peace but Unohana wasn't paying much attention. She had her eyes closed and was busy trying to locate Hitsugaya-taichou and his lieutenant, Matsumoto. But she did overhear the General saying that he will consent to Rukia's last request.

An angry sound came from her left and it showed that her lieutenant disapproved of the general's blatant lie. Unohana tried to calm Isane down and touched her arm gently, still continuing her search.

She opened her eyes suddenly._ There! _

Just as she thought, they were in the Central 46 chambers after all! What were they doing there? It was forbidden for anyone outside the Central 46 to enter their chambers. And—_wait… _There were others with Rangiku and Toushiro. Hinamori… Ichimaru Gin.. Kira Izuru… Aizen Sousuke…

Unohana let out a startled gasp before she could stop herself.

_Aizen? Alive?? I knew there was something funny going on with his absurd death! Like something was missing…_

Fortunately, when she gasped, the Soukyoku ceremony was already beginning so most of the people around her were not paying attention to anything except the execution. Unfortunately for her, Byakuya heard.

She felt his smooth, gentle hand grasp hers. His silver gray eyes were alert and full of concern. "What is it, Unohana-taichou?"

"Huh? What are you talking about, Kuchiki-taichou?" She pretended to look puzzled and surprised. There was no way in Soul Society that she was going to tell him of what she just discovered because this was his sister's dying moments. She couldn't let his attention shift somewhere else. She would never take that away from Rukia. Rukia, who admired her brother above anyone else. Rukia, who would do anything to make her brother proud. Rukia, who was always looking for some reassurance or some small hint that she was wanted in her adoptive family. Rukia, who was being carried on the shoulders of some orange-haired teenager.

"Unohana-taichou, I know you well enough to know that something—" Unohana cut off Byakuya in mid-sentence and pointed at the unknown, spiky-haired young man who did not seem like a shinigami. That seemed to silence him and turn his attention elsewhere. Unohana mentally cursed for not paying attention to the execution since she had no idea where the intruder came from.

The boy was giving off massive waves of spiritual energy. There was a katana strapped to his back and it looked like a ridiculously large kitchen knife. He was staring right at the Soukyoku's released power. It was an immense bird with awesome, overwhelming wings of fire. Even from Unohana's position away from the execution area, she could feel the waves of terrible heat coming from the phoenix. It was angry.

Then, Mr. Orange Head did the most extraordinary thing. Instead of running away and heading for cover, he raised his sword up high and struck the powerful bird.

_What in the name of Hippocrates is going on?_

"Oh my God, he destroyed the Soukyoku!" someone screamed.

"No! They did! Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku!" another shouted.

_Wow. Thank you for answering my question._ And true enough, the two said captains were standing at Soukyoku's base with a funny looking device and the majestic bird was nowhere to be found. But no one was quite sure of who really managed to destroy the Soukyoku.

Shouts of disbelief filled the air and all the captains instinctively grabbed the hilt of their swords and the lieutenants quickly followed suit. All except Unohana who just noticed that Byakuya was still holding her hand.

"Kuchiki-taichou," she started. "Uhm… your hand…"

Byakuya quickly let go of her hand like it was of no big deal but Unohana turned away praying to her lucky stars that her cheeks were not blushing red.

Minazuki's voice spoke suddenly in her mind. _Get your self together, Retsu. Red Alert Mode, remember? You're too old for this kind of frivolity._

Unohana did as she was told, put on her stern fighting face and placed her hand on top of her sword. _Sorry, Minazuki. Red Alert Mode. Right._

She quickly scanned the immediate area. Every one was suspicious of the shinigami who managed to stop the fire bird who had the power of a million zanpakutous and the two captains who seemed to be helping him. She glanced at her right, looking to see Byakuya's reaction at all of these people who were trying to stop Rukia's execution. But if the noble was planning on how to kill, slay, slaughter, murder, torture, extinguish, destroy Mr. Orange Head and Captains Kyouraku and Ukitake, it did not show on his handsome face.

But as if she spoke a little too soon, Byakuya's eyes suddenly widened in shock and anger, his semi-long hair swaying dangerously in the breeze. Unohana turned to see what was causing such a display of emotions from him and she saw Abarai Renji covered in bandages, looking much better than when she had last left him.

Everything happened so fast after that. Renji had disposed all of Rukia's escort guards and then the orange dude propelled Rukia towards him and he was now running away as fast as if the devil was on his heels. Captain Soifon, whose reflexes were as quick as her kicks, yelled at the lieutenants to chase after them which they immediately did. But the orange dude had other ideas and took them all out one by one. Things were not going well for them. Unsurprisingly, she felt Byakuya's presence beside her tense up as if he was about to shunpo away but before he could disappear, Unohana caught hold of his arm.

"Take care of yourself, Kuchiki-taichou," she said, hoping that he would not take it as an offense but as a friendly advice from someone who cares about him.

Byakuya considered Unohana carefully with his cold, calculating eyes yet Unohana could see that there was concern hidden behind those silver gray clouds. Concern for her, concern for himself or concern for Rukia, she didn't know.

Byakuya turned his attention to the orange-haired kid who was wreaking havoc among the lieutenants.

"I will, Unohana-taichou. Take care of yourself as well."

Unohana let go of his arm and he was gone, leaving behind a gust of wind with a small hint of cherry blossoms.

_Now, I have some investigation to make._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A petite figure stood between two beds. Lying on the bed on the right was a boy with hair as white as snow. On the left was a girl who was a little older than the boy. The two had suffered critical wounds and even worse, betrayal. Unohana had arrived in Central 46 with her lieutenant only to find out that all of the members of the Central 46 were annihilated. And the more shocking discovery was that Captains Aizen, Ichimaru and Tosen were behind everything, from the execution of Kuchiki Rukia to the eradication of the Central 46. Captain Hitsugaya was the first to suspect that there was something strange about the string of events that were taking place in Seireitei. He arrived in Central 46 with his lieutenant and discovered the truth. His lieutenant, Matsumoto Rangiku, was unharmed after her battle with Captain Ichimaru's lieutenant, Kira Izuru. But the same could not be said with Captain Hitsugaya and his childhood friend, Hinamori, who was betrayed and callously stabbed by her captain, Aizen.

Unohana ordered her lieutenant to spread word to everyone in the Gotei 13 of Aizen's betrayal while she tried to fix up Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Hinamori. And fixed them up, she did. The two childhood buddies were now on their way to recovery, though there was still a long way ahead of them. Unohana stood motionless between the two, contemplating on everything that had happened. Everything was happening so fast and she needed a moment to think, to just breathe. She couldn't fully understand why Captain Aizen would betray them all. She had known him almost as long as she had known Byakuya, though considerably not as well. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

A knock on the door startled her out of her reverie. She looked around and saw an officer from her squad. He was looking very anxious and fidgety and even the slightest movements scared him.

"U—Unohana-taichou, A—Aizen-taichou, Ichimaru-taichou and Tosen-taichou are now in H—Hueco Mundo. They have been abducted by M—Menos Grandes. We need your help on the injured on the S—Soukyoku hill. And K—Kuchiki-taichou has been badly injured by Ichimaru-taichou while he was trying save Kuchiki Rukia."

Unohana did not waste any second, she took her sword out of its sheath and shunpo-ed out of the 4th Division.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A sea-green bird or kite or airplane was seen speeding towards the Soukyoku hill. Its shadow passed over Seireitei caused by the orange sun that was about set. The gray storm clouds that Unohana observed this morning were now gone, and only a few strips of clouds remained in the golden amber sky. As Minazuki landed on the execution hill, Unohana kept Minazuki back into her sheath. Yasochika Iemura, 3rd seated officer, was there to give her a report on all of the injured. As she walked through the maze of patients and healers, she scanned for any sign of deep injuries.

_So far so good. My healers can take care of most of these patients. The only one who needs help is that ryoka boy and Kuchiki-taichou._

She looked over at the ryoka who were huddled together at the edge of the makeshift healing camp. A girl with brown-orange hair was healing the ryoka boy. The girl projected a golden light and she seemed to be doing rather well for the boy's injuries. _No need for any help there._

She turned at last to the person her heart was aching to see. Byakuya was lying down on a thin strip of blanket secured by four wooden supports to keep the wind from blowing it away. He was quiet and submissive to the ministrations of her healers. When she kneeled down beside him, her healers left the two to give them a little privacy. She checked out his vital statistics and saw that he was bleeding badly from a wound on his chest. Her healers have done what they could with the rest of his wounds and injuries.

"You've pushed yourself a little too hard haven't you, Kuchiki-taichou?" she asked, her voice filled with affection, already beginning her healing on his chest wound.

"I need to speak to Rukia," he said so softly that Unohana almost didn't quite catch it. But she did and the pleasant surprise was apparent in her pretty features. She looked around and saw Rukia a few meters away, watching them closely.

"Rukia, your brother wants to speak with you," she called, barely concealing the excitement and apprehension in her voice.

Rukia came and knelt on the other side of Byakuya, uncertain of why her brother wanted to speak to her. Unohana was also quite unsure of whether she had to leave the two to give them their privacy but Byakuya touched her knee lightly and she understood that he wanted her there.

And so Byakuya confessed everything that Hisana wanted to keep a secret from her sister. He confessed of the promises he made to his parents and to his wife. As he told his story, those around them couldn't help but overhear how greatly confused he was with his two promises. To help save Rukia or to obey the law. Fulfilling one promise would break the other. What was he supposed to do? After much thought, he decided to follow the promise he made to his parents and obey the law. For he was a noble and he must set the example for others. But in the end, the law was exposed and was found out to be corrupted. Then Byakuya did what no one, maybe except for Unohana, had ever seen or heard him do in their entire lives.

He apologized.

Unohana smiled inwardly, warmth filling her heart and joy overflowing her as she shared yet another significant part in Byakuya's life.


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I dont' own Bleach xD

Author's Apologies: I'm really sorry it took me so long to update :( i was so busy with school and everything. I've actually finished this chapter months ago. I dont know what took me so long to upload it. Anyway! Thank you for those who continue to read and review my story :) i told you before that your comments really encourage me to keep on writing. So please, if you have any comment, criticism, (no flames please :D), or if u just wanna say "update you lazy piece of...!" just say so ;) At least i know that someone's still reading my story. I really wanna improve my writing skills and so if you have some tips that you could give me, tell me :) Okay! I think i'm done babbling. Hope you like this chapter xD

P.S. I'm thinking of changing the title. But i dont know what i should change it to.

Not Just A Mother Figure

Chapter 6

After the sun had gone down and the sky had become a beautiful canvas of blues, purples and pinks, Unohana had all the injured transferred under the roof and care of the 4th division hospital. And by the time every one of the injured was settled in his own clean, white linen bed, the softly glowing moon was already high up over the infinite ocean of stars.

Unohana was making the last rounds, checking to see who was uncomfortable, whose wounds were badly dressed, who was disturbing other patients, etc. She had already dismissed her lieutenant, knowing how exhausted Isane was. Unohana knew that Seireitei had a pretty long and disastrous day and her lieutenant was drained from all the healing that she had done.

One would also believe that Unohana was tired as well, seeing that she saved two captains and two lieutenants from the haunting face of Death. But she wasn't. In fact, she has never felt more alive than when she knew she was fulfilling her duty. She was a death god after all and death gods, ironically, defy Death. Healing the dying is what she does best. It's what she does to know exactly who she is and what she's here for. It's what she must do to feel like she was someone.

_And to liberate myself from the deeds I have done_.

Unohana stopped by an open window with wooden shutters along the silent and empty corridor and peered at the dark blue and indigo sky. She took a deep breath, soaking up the cold, clear night air before she could start thinking of the past. Yet the waves of guilt and mortification still began to pull her under as she remembered her grievous mistake.

She was the doctor who examined Captain Aizen's cadaver. She was the one who declared to all of Seireitei that Captain Aizen was dead. Though she did have some inkling that the time of Aizen's death and the state of the corpse did not exactly match, she had paid it no mind. Even the manner that he died, skewered to the wall right outside 5th Division head quarters, incurred some skepticism. Unohana knew Aizen was far stronger than that. He hid his strength and abilities rather well yet she was not fooled. A stab in the chest could not have finished him off yet he had been there, on the autopsy table just a week or two ago, lifeless and his blood gone cold. Even if she had debated and proven that Aizen could not have died and that the numbers just did not compute, she still couldn't have explained why his corpse was there, rotting away in the autopsy ward.

No one blamed Unohana for making that mistake. How could they when they saw Aizen's corpse right before their very own eyes? Yet Unohana couldn't help but think that she had let everyone down. If she had continued on investigating Aizen's death, then maybe he would not have escaped and a lot of people would not have been hurt badly to the point of death. She would not allow herself to live if she knew she had been the cause of someone's death. Again. She worked hard all the way to the top to wipe her records clean and to get as far away as possible from the low point she once had been. A mistake like this would bring her fall and it was certainly a long way down. Yet she knew, deep down in the corners of her immortal soul that no amount of good deeds could erase one single misdeed.

Unohana snapped her eyes shut as she desperately tried to think about other things. She started listing down the names of her subordinates, counting the medical supplies in the whole infirmary, counting the number of men who have proposed to her, anything that might distract her from thinking about the past.

A small, apologetic cough turned her attention sharply from the window to an officer standing several feet away and had the tips of her hair dyed in the bright shade of blue. She had soft shadows under her eyes and her shoulders were stiff with weariness. "Unohana-taichou," she said with a polite little bow.

Unohana greeted her with concern. All the day officers should have headed home by now, replacing them with the officers for the night shift. She asked her if she was from the night shift and the officer with hair the color of electricity shook her head.

"I'm here because of a patient. It's Kuchiki-taichou, ma'am. He says he can't sleep when he's not in his own bed."

Unohana nodded and without showing any hint of irritation on her pretty features, dismissed the poor officer and sent her back home to the 4th division quarters. This was probably the fifth complaint she received from the captain in question.

Byakuya had suffered from a fatal stab to his chest, delivered by one of Aizen's cronies, Ichimaru Gin, and before that, had already received serious wounds from his battle with the orange-haired ryoka. He had already lost a lot of blood before Unohana had a chance to get to him.

When you heal someone, you pour out your spiritual energy into that person. And the deeper the wound, the more spiritual energy is needed for it to heal. When Unohana was treating Byakuya's wounds, she not only poured out her reiatsu, she poured in everything she could. Byakuya meant more to her than her very own life. That was how deep her love for him ran. Never had she felt so desperate in her entire existence than during those long, strained minutes when Byakuya was staggering along the precarious line between life and death. She had never really forgiven herself for the death of Hisana, and she was, without a string of doubt, never going to forgive herself if Byakuya was to die. But she did save him, against all odds. But healing was a process and Byakuya had not fully recovered yet so he was to stay inside the infirmary, to his vehement protests, until Unohana determines that he was well enough to go home. The minute he was placed in his room, he started troubling her members with a myriad of tasks and errands to assuage his trivial needs. Unohana would not allow anyone to bully her subordinates, even if the culprit was Byakuya.

Unohana made her way to the ward for the gravely injured. The doors leading to each room were a painted pale green and each one had a clipboard hanging on it. Unohana went to a door on the left, and stopped to read the clipboard in front to check if the room was right. _Kuchiki Byakuya, Captain of the 6__th__ Division_. She closed her eyes and readied herself to enter the room. She held the door knob firmly and opened the door, revealing a very simple room with a worn yet polished wooden floor and walls painted the same color as the door. There were only two pieces of furniture in the room: a bed and a bedside table. The window beside the bed was open and the moon cast a square of light on the blankets. Sitting on the bed with the pillows propped up against the headboard was Byakuya, staring out the open window. Down below, the city was asleep. Only a few lights could be seen among the many houses. It was as if the city itself had been wrung out all its energy with all the events that took place that day.

"Good evening, Unohana-taichou."

Byakuya did not turn away from the window when he spoke. Unohana came into the room and closed the door behind her. The light created a silver halo on his dark hair. She could not help but notice that without his kenseikan, he looked more normal, like he breathed more easily and his hair swayed more freely. His eyes, however, were unchanged, except now there were crescents in them reflecting the moon.

"Good evening, Kuchiki-taichou. I trust that my officers have assisted and accommodated you and all of your demands to the best of their abilities," she said, a tad colder than was necessary. She was slightly ticked off that he had been stressing out some of her officers.

The corners of his mouth tightened marginally as the tension in the atmosphere increased. He resisted the urge to bite back something sarcastic. After all, he didn't want to offend his savior. "Yes, they have generally satisfied most of my needs," he finally answered, yet still not willing to put his head down in defeat.

"And what need, may I ask, have they not satisfied, Kuchiki-taichou?" She stood incredibly still, only her lips were moving. Even the winds did not seem to touch her. A telltale sign that she was not in the best mood. She obviously wasn't backing down either.

Byakuya suddenly seemed hesitant in telling Unohana what his problem was. He frowned, weighing in the consequences of whether he told her or not. Concluding that the consequences of _not_ telling Unohana far outweighed the consequences of telling her, he opened his mouth and told her in the most dignified manner he could deliver that his scarf was missing.

"I suspect that you already know of my battle with my lieutenant. My scarf… had somehow… untangled itself and got caught in the wind. I cannot lose it. It's worth more than all the houses in Seireitei put together. I must find it. And since I am currently detained for several days at the least, under _your_ orders, I have instructed someone to go look for it. Until now, it has not been found."

Unohana's brow furrowed and her grey eyes were shimmering with surprise, suspicion and curiosity. Unohana knew exactly where his scarf was. It was resting atop her breast inside her coat. Yet there was something he wasn't telling her. She knew exactly when he wasn't telling the truth. He should know that. And it appeared the he _did_ know that, for there was a very light smudge of pink across his cheeks. Unohana could not resist an inward evil chuckle. He was hiding something, something that was clearly embarrassing to him. Seldom does it happen that Byakuya was embarrassed about something. Even more seldom does it happen that Unohana would seek revenge. But when the situation presents itself to you like a beautifully wrapped birthday present, it's hard to refuse. She might as well take this opportunity to have a little fun.

"Let me get this straight. Your scarf… had somehow… untangled itself and got caught… in the wind… without you noticing. Am I correct?" she said, mock-polite. She withheld one not-so-tiny tidbit though. That the scarf was not lost and was currently resting on her person, beneath her robes.

Byakuya glared out the window, his frown deepening. She was clearly testing his patience. He had gone through enough physical battles. Their mental battle was simply exhausting. "My lieutenant surprised me. He fought better than I had ever thought was possible for a man of his cultural, social and educational background. Stating that there is some room for improvement would be an understatement but he had shown… potential and promise. It was a shame that he only showed such power and resolve when he was nearly halfway through Death's door. So I resolved to give him the honor by covering him with a Kuchiki scarf. Yet it seems that my scarf had indeed been blown away because by the time my lieutenant regained consciousness, the scarf was no where to be found. If it were, then my lieutenant would have returned it by this time. I suppose you had something to do with how he had somehow managed to survive our battle," he said dryly.

Unohana allowed herself a little smile to play across her lips at his last statement.

What she expected Byakuya to say, Unohana wasn't sure, but this wasn't it. Suffice to say, she was stunned. He had told her the truth, just like that. He must really be worn out. And for the first time since she entered the room, she allowed herself to thaw.

"I see you have developed a touch of respect for your subordinate. I am glad."

No response from Byakuya.

"But I am really curious. I, for one, know that you have an estimably generous collection of your valuable cashmere scarves. You could easily replace the one you've lost. What makes this one so important?"

Again, there was no reply.

Unohana sighed, knowing that there was something else Byakuya wasn't revealing. She, too, was getting pretty tired of their mind games.

"How are you feeling, Byakuya?" she asked, moving closer to the simple wooden bed, deliberately using his first name implying that their mental battles were over, if not postponed for another time under better circumstances. If he was unwilling to reveal any information, then so be it. Unohana knew better than to keep on prying.

"Much better, thanks to you. I should have died today," he answered, after a pause, his voice soft yet unwavering.

Unohana took another step closer. Her heart beat faster. She could not explain the sudden apprehension that was squirming in her stomach. "But you didn't and that's what matters."

Byakuya at last, wearily pulled his gaze from the window, like it demanded a great amount of effort, and rested his eyes on Unohana. He had been trying to avoid looking at her the entire evening and now she knew why. His eyes spoke volumes of what he couldn't voice out loud, it whispered of the agony he was struggling so desperately to suppress. And she could hear the words they spoke to her as clearly as if he had spoken them aloud. "_I would have died without telling Rukia the truth. She would have lived the rest of her existence not knowing that she was my sister-in-law. She would have never known the reason why I did not fight against her execution, why I even encouraged it. She would have died believing that I was a monster. Maybe I am. Even now I still do not realize the magnitude of what I have done. Unohana Retsu, what have I done?_" She had never seen him like this since the time of Hisana's death. The same hopelessness that she had seen before was present, still with the same intensity, although clouded by the shadow of confusion.

Unohana sat on the bed and took Byakuya's hand with two of her own, before she could read anything more in his eyes. "Byakuya, I know that you know better than to think of things that could have happened. Don't worry about yesterday. What matters is today. Set to right the things that you've done wrong. You did what your heart told you was right. You are truly noble, inside and out. We make mistakes, even if we are called shinigami. It seems that there is still something human in all of us. Byakuya, sooner or later in a person's life, he will begin to grasp the reality that he is not perfect. Because the moment he becomes perfect, he ceases to exist. So why bother trying to be good? To succeed? To win?" One of her hands left his and placed itself gently on the side of his head. "Because that's just what life is about. We have been given the curse to make mistakes, but we have also been given the blessing of second chances."

Looking straight into Byakuya's eyes, she continued. "You could have died today. But you did not. And that's reason enough to hope. It means that your time has not yet come. Indeed, I feel that you still have a very long way to go and many more things to do before you will finally go to the place where the shinigami go to when they pass away."

Byakuya closed his eyes and turned away for a moment. When he looked at Unohana again, his eyes were a cloudy grey and there were blue tinges in them like lightning across a stormy sky. They were the same eyes he used to have when he was young, before he learned how to mask his emotions completely. "Thank you, Unohana-taichou." _For everything_.

Unohana smiled and her eyes twinkled with happy tears. "You're welcome.

"Now, what were these things about you complaining to my officers that you can't sleep if you're not in your own bed, that your pillows are too lumpy, and that the view was not good enough?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips, her face stern.

Byakuya stared at Unohana, surprised by the sudden change in their conversation. There was a mixture of seriousness and laughter in her eyes.

"You wanted a way for me to see you, didn't you? I admit, I thought it was very strange that the officer said you were complaining. You almost never complain."

Byakuya looked like he was resisting the urge to smirk. "I had to make sure I saw you before you left for the night."

"I think your near-death experience has some good in it. You're less distant."

Byakuya raised his eyebrow, and his eyes suddenly challenging. "But it was true, I couldn't sleep."

"Hm… Do you think I should sing you a lullaby? Or tell you a story, like I used to do, back when you were young and you had the flu?" Her tone was light and teasing, rising up to his challenge.

Byakuya studied Unohana with eyes containing a look that resembled closely to suspicion and worry. "You are not tired," he stated.

"I am not," she said simply.

"I see." A pause. Byakuya's expression became hard to read, like seeing images through frosted glass. It was after a moment or two that the corners of his mouth twitched unexpectedly and his eyes twinkled with amusement. "Then I would like you to do both."

Unohana's eyes instantly grew wide in disbelief and narrowed as quickly. "You've got to be joking," she blurted.

"I am not," he said, almost mocking. His eyes still daring her to do what she offered.

_It must be the near-death experience, that's why he's acting so odd. _

"Well, if it means putting you to sleep, then I will, little prince," she said at last, her voice bubbling with excitement and interest. She saw Byakuya darken a little at the mention of the childhood pet name she gave him long ago. "So, what would you like me to sing?"

"Anything. I only wish to hear your voice. It has been a long time since I have heard you sing."

"That's because I don't sing. I've only ever sung to you."

"And I am certain that the world would surely be dismayed if they knew even half of the worth of the treasure they have been deprived of. Yet I selfishly am quite glad that they don't know. It is a precious gift you have given only to me and I am loath to share it with others."

Unohana felt heat creep up along her cheeks and was modestly flattered by his munificent adulation. She had heard that his dearly departed wife used to sing to him as well and her voice was as light and pretty as that of a nightingale, cool, delicate, ethereal. And as if he heard her thoughts, Byakuya added "Your voice is not like Hisana's." He uttered her name tenderly. "Your voice is pure, solid, deep and vibrant, like the ocean. Yet it is still somehow light and playful like sunlight dancing on water. It is a pleasing and lovely blend of both."

Unohana couldn't help it. She laughed good-naturedly, took his face in her hands and gave him a small peck on his nose. Before he could express his surprise, he was cut off by the singing of the ocean on a sunny Saturday morning.

_Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful boy with hair blacker than the night itself and with eyes and a mind __sharper than any other boy in the entire kingdom of Cyrena, for that was where the boy lived. He was also the beloved son of the king and queen._

_The king was a benevolent king, wise and just, yet loving and caring to his subjects. The queen was beautiful, with shiny black hair that came in waves and reached the floor. And her voice was the sound of small, delicate golden bells and her smile was like the sun shining through a stained glass window. The people loved the king and his queen yet there were some who didn't._

_A small group of bandits who lived in the middle of the Great Forest were plotting their revenge on the king. They were exiled, a few years ago by the order of the king, to live their lives away from green pastures and flowing rivers of Cyrena as punishment for the crimes that they have committed. _

_One day, the king decided to go out to the woods and go hunting. The queen was a very adventurous woman and wanted to go hunting as well. Against the king's better judgment, she was allowed to come along. They packed up their hunting gear, mounted their horses and rode away to the woods, leaving behind the young little prince to his nurse._

_The little boy was too young to remember the day his parents left. He was too young to understand what the king's men said when they told him his parents were ambushed by rogue bandits. When he grew older, he was always told of how great and kind his parents were and he understood. But he could not remember them from his childhood, only his nurse._

_Now, the nurse loved the little prince with all her heart and the little prince loved her back. Seldom were they ever apart. The nurse also had a distinct look for she wore her hair in a braid in front of her chest rather than down her back. Everywhere she went, people recognized her as the little prince's nurse._

_One sunny afternoon, the little prince was out playing in the castle gardens, near a clear brook made up of tiny waterfalls that sounded like wind chimes. The nurse was by the little pagoda, hands placed neatly on her lap, watching the little prince who was lying down on the sweet-smelling grass, studying the clouds. He was trying to make out what their shapes looked like. He had already spotted a boar, a dove, a face and a cherry blossom but he was getting bored. Glancing over his nurse to see what she was doing, he suddenly came up with the most brilliant idea. _

_He pointed at a random cloud and called to his nurse. "Look! A man riding a bicycle!"_

_His nurse looked up in the direction he was pointing at and the little boy wasted no time._

"_Hmm… It looks more like a shoe to –," she stopped abruptly as she felt her neat braid begin to unravel itself and loosen from its ribbon. Her long dark tresses danced delicately around her shoulders and her eyes and mouth were open wide in surprise._

"_Little prince, why did you untie my hair?"_

_The boy grinned, revealing a neat row of small, white teeth. "I never see you without your braid. Now, I know why."_

"_And why is that?"_

"_Because you look even more beautiful with your hair down."_

_The nurse laughed. "Then if that was so, then why would I always wear my hair in a braid?"_

_The boy's eyes were wide and serious. "Because if you always wore your hair down, men will fall in love with you and you would no longer have time to be with me."_

_The nurse laughed again, lighter this time. "I will always have time to be with you. If I don't, then I will make time. If I can't, then I'll steal time." _

"_But stealing is wrong. I don't want you to go to prison!" the little prince cried. "I know! I'll always have time and when you need it, I'll give it to you so you would not have to steal and be punished for doing a crime." _

"_Thank you for your concern and generosity but little prince, sooner or later, you are going to have a family of your own and you will not have all the time that you have now."_

_The little prince became silent, deep in thought until another idea lit up his face. Quick as a hummingbird, he leaned down to kiss his nurse, fully on the lips. _

_The nurse's eyebrows shot up and her eyes grew wide like saucers, stunned by the prince's actions. She scanned the gardens nervously for any sign that the servants saw what just happened. Before she could cough out words, the little prince spoke._

_"My teacher told me the reason why people kiss in public. Kissing is a sign of affection and it is a way to show someone you love them. But kissing in public means something more. It is sort of like a mark that tells everyone that we belong to each other. She said that you kiss someone in front of other people to show them that they can't have her and that they should look for someone else. So even if you let your hair down, it's okay because they will know that you and I belong together."_

_The nurse's face softened and there were amusement and delight in her voice. "My little prince, it's not exactly what you think. A person kisses someone on the lips when he loves that person the way a husband loves his wife."_

_The little prince frowned, his eyebrows bunching up cutely. "So you mean we have to get married?"_

"_No, what I mean to say is the love between a man and a woman."_

"_I'm a boy. And you're a girl," he answered, not giving up._

_The nurse smiled. "I know that."_

_The little prince shook his head, still confused. "And I love you. I don't understand. Don't you love me, too?"_

_The nurse pulled the boy in her embrace. "I do, very much, with every strand of hair on my head."_

_The boy's features lit up like fireworks. He grinned so hard that his lips were stretched until they were thin and pale. "Then there's nothing wrong for us to kiss," he said triumphantly, as if he had just solved a very difficult problem._

_Shaking her head slightly and giving out a little laugh, the nurse held the prince close in her arms and they stayed that way until the sun touched the ground and set the skies on fire._

Breathing slowly, dark hair splayed across the pearly white pillows, Byakuya, Unohana declared, was irrefutably the most beautiful man that ever lived. He had fallen asleep, even before Unohana was done singing him a lullaby. Unohana decided to follow through and tell him a story, fulfilling his request even if he was not awake to hear it.

Still staring intently at the sleeping noble, Unohana wondered what on earth had compelled her to choose that story—the story that might have been cute before when Byakuya was still a child, but now, only sounds awkward and just plain weird. It was a favorite memory of hers from the past when she had nothing but the love of a mother for Byakuya. Today, she still had the maternal love for him but she couldn't deny the magnetic pulls of attraction that had inadvertently taken root inside her heart.

Even though she didn't look it, she was old. Her face bore no lines of age yet in her eyes, there echoed the past centuries that she had seen. She must admit that when they are together, side by side, they look like a married couple, not like a mother and child. But she knew that the wide invisible gap between their ages was ever-present, like a great brick wall separating them from each other. Neither could ever fully ignore it yet seldom do they ever talk about it. Once, several years back, she desired for him to call her Retsu until she realized how scandalous that would be. Just calling her Retsu would consequently drive them headfirst towards that brick wall.

Unohana jerked upright, suddenly remembering something. She reached into her robe and brought out the sleeping noble's notable scarf. There were still dried spots of blood splattered on it but Unohana waved her hand and muttered a simple cleaning healing spell, hoping that the blood stain had not set in yet into the wool. Fortunately, the blood disappeared and the scarf was as good as new. Not many healers, much less shinigami, know that some healing spells that are used for souls worked just as well with inanimate objects.

Holding the soft scarf in her dexterous white hands, she admired how sheer the cloth felt on her skin and thought that it was exceptionally fitting for its owner. Byakuya's skin was impossibly smooth for a man of his age with his skill in combat. Yet not many knew just how soft and smooth his skin was for he hardly lets anyone touch him. Nor does he willingly touch others, if it was not necessary. Actually, even if it was necessary. She was proudly one of the few who were honored enough to behold the wonders of Byakuya's smooth skin. Plus, her being the said captain's preferred healer during the captains' quarterly medical check-ups gave her the privilege of intimacy that brought her the envy of the entire female population (and some males) in the 4th division. She suppressed a laugh that bubbled up at the back of her throat as she recalled the spine-tingling, murderous looks that were sent her way after every time he had a medical check-up. The hairs on the back of her neck won't stop standing for a week.

Unohana shook her head, accepting that her little prince was unquestionably the most shamelessly desired man in all of Soul Society. She stood up and stooped over Byakuya, placing the scarf over his shoulders and under his neck as carefully as she could without waking him up and reached over him to close the windows. She stiffened immediately when Byakuya stirred a bit but breathed a sigh of relief when he did not awake. She straightened up and turned to go when she felt a peculiar sensation. Somewhere in the back of her mind told her that she had felt this before when it her. She looked down to see that she guessed right. Her braid was unraveling. Her mouth widened into a surprised "o" as she whipped her head back at the sleeping captain. And there in his hand was Unohana's ribbon.


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Byakuya, Unohana, or any other character in this story.

Author's Apologies Part 2: Hey guys! So i'm really sorry that It's been a year since I last uploaded a new chapter. School's been tough. And maybe because I got stuck with writer's block. Please don't hate me. I promise I'll try to upload more often and that I won't stop thinking of ideas for this story. Please do leave a review, a note, or whatever for me. Tell me what you think of Unohana? Byakuya? If they should end up together or not? Just tell me your thoughts! I'd appreciate it very much! And about the title change, I think I'm too lazy to change it. That or I'm just a bit lacking in the creativity department.

Not Just a Mother Figure

Chapter 7

After a storm has passed, it leaves behind its mark, seen and unseen.

Trees uprooted, roofs ripped of houses, debris, garbage and all kinds of wreckage strewn across the streets, mud splattered on walls and on front doors, the smell of nature, strong, unyielding and absolutely devastating. What destruction takes place in your surroundings is truly upsetting. But in time, trees will grow back, roofs will be rebuilt, streets will be cleaned and the mud will be washed away.

It is the pain and loss planted in the hearts of the people that take the longest time to heal.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana was greatly confused.

She was the Captain of the 4th Division. She was the best healer in Shinigami history that Soul Society has ever seen. She always had total control over herself—aside from that little slip in her past. She was the one you could always trust to keep her cool in times of emergencies. She never acted out of compulsion. She was the level-headed one, the compassionate captain who was deemed as wise as she was beautiful. She held knowledge that most of the shinigami could only dream of acquiring. She was powerful, learned, polished, courteous, and graceful. She was the living archetype of a successful and prosperous single woman. She earned her way to the top without any help from anyone other than herself. Every female shinigami looked up to her in hopes of becoming just like her, radiant and unfettered by a man at her side.

She knew who she was and how others knew who she was. She had never doubted herself in a long time. Not until today. Unohana felt as if the walls she had built around her to protect herself from hurt was starting to collapse. She had sworn never to fall again into the fickle hands of Eros. The consequences were too painful, she believed.

But she wasn't always this way. Once, long ago, she believed that love conquered all. Love made the world go round. Nothing else mattered aside from love. But not anymore. Love was not for her, she kept telling herself, especially whenever she sees a couple so deeply in love with each other. It kept the loneliness at bay. Usually.

Unohana was proud of the way she maintained her singleness. She put great amounts of effort in the way she turned down row upon row of suitors eager to take her out for dinners, picnics, holiday celebrations, festivals, movies, walks, and so on. Even though she never said yes to any man who showed even the slightest romantic attachment for her, she made sure they were rejected with the least possible damage to their self-esteem.

Most people thought she didn't date because she was already with the Captain Kuchiki, who was understood by the general public as her closest friend. Or _his_ closest friend. Such nuances did not merit much significance as the whole point of the matter was that they were _together_ and that was that. After all, Byakuya Kuchiki was the one male shinigame she had ever agreed to go out with. And he was also the one she was always being seen with at parties, festivities and the like. Being wrong did not occur in the minds of the people for the couple did not even bother to change this preconceived notion.

_But they are wrong_.

The only reason why Unohana agrees to accompany Byakuya to special events was that he held no romantic attraction or whatsoever towards her. He would never make any attempt to lure her into the treacherous web called Love. That the best they could ever be was the best of friends.

And knowing that he would never fall in love with her, she thought she was safe.

_But I was wrong_.

No, she could never have been more wrong. Not even her error in this whole Aizen business could surpass how wrong she was with. She never once thought that acting mother to a beautiful child would have any serious consequences. She never thought watching a beautiful child transform into an even more beautiful man could do her any harm. She never pondered about how being best friends with the most sought after shinigami in Soul Society would affect her little by little, without her even noticing. She never would have considered her maternal love, turned into philial love, would turn into anything else.

Well, she was wrong... She had done the one thing she had sworn never to do. She had fallen in…

_No._ She thought, shutting her eyes. _Not even in the safe confines of my mind will I admit it out loud. _

Something unpleasant bubbled up inside of her from the pit of her stomach, rising higher and higher, invading her lungs and up her throat, blocking her airways and preventing her from breathing. Her tear glands started acting up and her hands were clenched so tightly that her knuckles went white. The feeling of panic invaded her whole system and she gasped for air, choking on her gloomy thoughts.

Reaching for the teacup resting serenely beside her quaking body, she drained its contents in a single gulp in hopes of drowning out her panic and sorrows before they could escape her mouth. For if they did, she feared they would all become more real, and her secret would be revealed, exposed for the whole world to see, pity and mock. She knew she was being irrational but she couldn't help it. She was so caught up in her woeful reflection she did not even notice that her tea had gone cold and bitter. The burning candle on her right was almost at its end and the shadows in her room were growing darker and darker as her countenance grew grimmer and grimmer. Her long black hair was unbound, curtaining her pale face. Her fingers were trembling—from the cold or from anxiety, she didn't know. She grabbed a thin lock of her hair and started braiding, just to keep her hands busy. It was a habit she had developed when coping with stress.

How could she have not seen this coming? She was always praised as the woman with the most accurate foresight and she never even had the slightest clue that she was falling in—Unohana jerked violently. _No! I will _not_ say it. How can I? With a man who only saw her as his adoptive mother? A man who was not even half her age! Maybe not even a quarter!_ She shook her head hard, wishing these thoughts to be thrown out of her mind and through her ears.

Frustrated at herself, she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Breathing deeply and struggling to remain calm, she willed herself to start thinking more clearly.

_Okay, now Retsu, think. How did this happen? How could you betray him with these shameful thoughts? How could you risk losing the friendship and trust he willingly gave you when he grudgingly gives it away to others? Remember, when did this start? What started this? How? Why?_

Unohana was the perfect look of concentration. Thinking back to the times when she and Byakuya were together, she wondered for the second time how in heaven's name did she not see this coming. She saw in her mind's eye the two of them sharing tea and just talking about all matters under the sun, saw them star-gazing whenever they were inclined for an evening walk, saw them writing calligraphy for the Calligraphy Club in his manor, saw her teaching him origami, everything that might give her the answer as to how this all began. She thought of how deceptive his thin build was and how much strength was hidden beneath his lean muscles. She thought of how his ebony hair complimented his ivory skin, She beheld his beautiful silver gray eyes, interspersed with hints of blue at the right moments, that revealed secrets only she could see, or so she wanted to believe. She felt his soft and gentle hand holding hers. She smelled the sweet smell of cherry blossoms that enveloped her whenever he was near. She knew almost every physical feature of his in excruciating detail.

She remembered the panic and desperation that threatened to take hold of her when she was told that he took a sword through his chest. She saw the blackness and despair of never being able to see him again.

Unohana felt an overwhelming urge to hold her head in her hands, but she resisted and just exhaled loudly.

_Why do we always happen to be together? If we weren't, I would have never known him this well. Ever since Hisana died, we've been—_

With a sharp intake of breath, Unohana straightened up so abruptly, the motion made her a little woozy and she could have sworn she heard her back crack.

_That's it! Ever since that tragedy, we've spent more and more time together. I started to see him as the grown man he has become and I probably started developing feelings of attraction. It's basic biology. My hormones got a little out of control because that is the ordinary response Byakuya is capable of inducing. His skill and proficiency with these powers of attraction must indeed be great if he is capable of bringing out these previously dormant emotions from a centuries-old woman._

The corners of Unohana's lips twitched at her wry thoughts.

_But I'm sure that with the right amount of time and proper calculated distance apart each other, I can most definitely fix this problem as easy as one, two, three. _

Unohana grinned in relief, her mood lightening up for the first time since she had entered her quarters, oblivious to the candle beside her which had completely died out and that she hadn't slept the entire evening. Yet a thought entered her head and the grin left as quickly as it came. How was she going to start avoiding Byakuya without him noticing?

Unohana furrowed her brow. She had finally stopped braiding and her hair was fixed into tiny little braids.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Two weeks have passed since the dawning of Aizen's betrayal. Each and every division of the Gotei 13 has been in an uproar searching for clues and other treachery that Aizen and his accomplices might have left behind. But even though their perfidy was felt by all the divisions, nothing could have compared to the wounds that were left in the 3rd, 5th, and 9th division. Each division is a family. You take any one member out and you leave a hole. It becomes incomplete. Lacking. Bereft. Multiply this hole a thousand times over and you might begin to understand how it feels to have your captain abandon your squad. The pain is unbearable. Yet, the shinigami move on. Already, new captains are being decided to fill the abandoned positions. Weekly captain meetings and vice-captain meetings have turned daily. Stricter law implementation, more stringent documentation processes, and more extensive background checks have been set up in a desperate attempt to stabilize the Gotei 13 led by the Captain-Commander and the remaining captains. No one had the desire to protest against this sudden conversion into martial law. Indeed, though the colors of grief have been painted in the hearts of the shinigami, there is an unmistakeable splash of anger, a raw shade of red. Burning. Throbbing. And painful.

Lined up in two neat columns, nine captains stood grimly, refusing to land their eyes on the gaps where the traitors once stood. Yamamoto sat at the head of the small assembly, the lines on his faces standing out more prominently than ever in the fading light of the sun. Ukitake's voice rang in the air, soft yet solid.

"Thrusting the responsibilities of a captain to grieving vice-captains is cold-blooded, if not rash and unwise. The aptitude shown by these vice-captains is undeniable. I do not doubt that they have the potential to be great leaders. But the time is not right. I suggest that a few months should be given as an allowance for them to adjust without their captains."

"I agree with Ukitake-taichou," Kyōraku spoke, his characteristic indolence temporarily buried to pay respect to the numerous wounded shinigami. "As we speak, Hinamori-fukutaichou is currently lying in a bed, unconscious. Her recovery is slow. It might even take her several months to stand up, a year to fully recover. Isn't that so, Unohana-taichou?"

"Yes. Hinamori-fukutaichou has suffered from critical physical injuries, but there are mental and emotional wounds as well. Her body is healed and she no longer breathes with difficulty. But her spirit is broken. That is something I cannot heal. She, herself, must regain the will to live."

At the corner of her eye, Unohana saw Hitsugaya gaze drop down to the floor. It was really a miracle how he was up and running just a few days after his almost-death. His reiatsu was tremendous. His will to live was strong. A true child prodigy.

Komamura, who had remained silent until now, spoke up. "It is inspiring, Unohana-taichou, how you managed to underplay your healing abilities. We all know that countless shinigiami would not even have the chance to breathe once again if it were not for you. Truly, you should be rewarded for your noble deeds."

Nods and exclamations of approval were made all around her, with the small exception of Zaraki who merely looked bored.

"I consider it my duty and honor, Komamura-taichou, to help save the lives of those in need," Unohana smiled. Beside her, she could feel Byakuya's reiatsu gently touch her. A gesture of gratitude for saving his life as well. What Byakuya lacked in words, he made up for in action and deed, subtly, sometimes barely perceptible, yet always sincerely.

"Indeed, Unohana-taichou's skill and power is manifest and staggering. But going back to the topic on hand, Ukitake-taichou, Kyōraku-taichou, are you suggesting that we leave the captain positions vacant? Aizen has fled but only temporarily. He will come out of hiding once he sees that his forces are sufficient. We cannot afford to leave holes in the Gotei 13 for them to exploit," Soifon argued, her expression haughty as usual. It was no secret that she thought of her division more highly than the others.

Kurotsuchi spoke in his eerie, high voice, sounding mildy uninterested. "You argue whether these vice-captains should be promoted or not. I believe you are approaching this dilemma erroneously. What we should be deciding is whether these vice-captains even meet the requirements that are demanded in a captain. Do any of you have evidence that they have already achieved their bankai?"

Silence.

Kurotsuchi smirked. "Then I believe there is no one qualified to assume captaincy."

"Bullshit, I made it here without even knowing what my katana's name is," Zaraki growled. "So don't go talking about shit you don't even know, ass—"

"That is enough." Yamamoto held up his hand, signs of impatience surfacing under his cool façade.

Byakuya's voice cut through before Kurotsuchi or Zaraki could make a protest. "The positions for the Kidō Corps commander and chief have remained vacant for over a century now. I presume their 3rd seated officer has assumed leadership of the corps. There is no noticeable strain on its members. Otherwise, we would have been informed if ever there was a problem. And as far as I recall, there has been no announcement of any shinigami being appointed for these roles since the disappearances of former Kidō Corps commander Tessai Tsukabishi and his lieutenant Hachigen Ushōda."

Another moment of silence wrapped around the captains. The mystery of the said Kidō Corps officers was something rarely discussed. And whenever it is brought up, it never fails to bring about a sense of reverence, some discomfort, but most of all, transparent curiosity. Some of the captains, Unohana and Byakuya included, had been offered to take up the vacant position. But Unohana declined, saying she had more use in the 4th division. She never did find out why Byakuya declined as well. But whatever the reason was, she was grateful. To become the Kidō Corps commander would mean to lead a life of secrecy. She would hardly be able to see Byakuya again. Perhaps never.

"Kuchiki-taichou is right," Ukitake-taichou was the first to speak up. "The success of a squad must not be determined by its possession of a captain. It should be measured by the efficiency and effectiveness of its management and execution of its duties."

Soifon opened her mouth as if to argue, but thought better of it. Pressing her lips together, she nodded once, folded her thin arms inside the loose sleeves of her haori, and glared at the wooden floor.

"Let's now have a vote," Yamamoto declared. "Those in favor of leaving these captain positions open, please raise your hand." With the sound of rustling clothing, one by one, the captains raised their hands. Even Soifon did, although grudgingly.

"It is decided then. The delegation of the 3rd, 5th, and 9th Divisions' positions for captaincy is hereby deferred. Until a suitable replacement has been found and approved by the Captain's Council, the aforementioned positions shall remain vacant. The untaken duties and responsibilities shall be allocated to each division's remaining officers in proportion to the level of each officer. Now let's move on to the subject of additional intensive training in preparation for the upcoming winter war…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Night had fallen when the Captain's Council meeting ended. Street lamps glowed and cast yellow circles on the streets, walkways, and the wooden verandas that connected from building to building.

Walking side by side, Unohana and Byakuya passed beneath the shadows and the periodic spheres of yellow light. Unohana noted the usual silence enveloping them. Except this time, she felt slightly uncomfortable walking together with him. She willed that he won't notice her discomfort. She felt guilty for wanting to reach the 4th Division barracks as quickly as possible.

"When shall we meet for tea again?"

She felt herself tense up. She was 99 percent sure he felt it, too. "Well, Kuchiki-taichou, it is going to get very busy for all the Gotei 13, with the preparation for the war and everything. It might be for the best that we postpone our meetings until the tension surrounding Seireitei has let up. Besides—oh, what are you doing, Kuchiki-taichou—"

Byakuya had turned around to face her abruptly. His expression still, but his eyes confused, suspicious and, if Unohana was not mistaken, wounded. She wanted to shrink away from him, yet his eyes rooted her to the earth. "Unohana Retsu, until when shall you keep doing this? I know when you are not telling the truth."

Unohana's heart dropped into the bowels of her stomach and she felt an invisible hand clench her throat. She considered telling him she had no idea what he was talking about. She couldn't believe that he actually even suspected that she was avoiding him. "I—Please Kuchiki-taichou, let us talk about this some other time." She wanted to say that she was tired, that Isane was waiting for her. But she felt that she really couldn't lie to him any further. Plus, the look in his eyes made her feel as if she were wearing a headband with the word GUILTY written on it.

Ever since the night she shared the song and the story to him, she had been avoiding him like the plague. It was easier than she had expected since there really was a lot of things that needed to be done. Not necessarily done by her, but she helped every chance she got. She couldn't explain it. He unnerved her now that she knew she was developing some "feelings". She had been sure he wouldn't notice their lack of interaction. At least she had hoped so.

After his release from the Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho, or the Seireitei's primary medical facility, he made no comment when she didn't show up for their usual tea dates. He attributed her absence to the additional chores that needed to be done to fix the mess Aizen left. But just several days ago, he showed up on her door, in the 4th Division Barracks, and was met by a nervous Isane telling him her captain had given orders not to be disturbed unless of an emergency. She never turns him away. Never. Not once. So, it was then that he began to suspect that she might be evading him after all. For what reason, he did not know. It was only now that he was able to get her alone again. And if he had his way, he was going to find out what had gotten into her. And if Unohana had _her_ way, he was never going to.

The truth?

She was scared.

Scared of the feeling she gets when he's around. Scared of the way her skin tingles every time he touches her. Scared of the way her heart flutters every time he says her name. Scared of the way his eyes bore into hers. Scared of the secrets that he might see hidden inside her. Scared of looking inside her heart. Scared of what her heart might reveal. Scared of…

"There is no time like the present. I am certain that if I let you go now, it will surely be a challenge catching you again."

Unohana blushed. She angrily wondered why he had to be so close. She tried to take a step back, only to force him to grab her wrist. It used to be uncharacteristic of him to show physical gestures in public. But now, it was as if he didn't mind at all. "How did you come up with this nonsense? I am not—"

"You are angry with me. For what I did to Rukia. I knew it."

"Byakuya," she said sharply, momentarily forgetting not to speak his first name. "I am not angry with you. What is there for me to be angry at? I promise you, it has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it?" he challenged.

"It's…" she stumbled. "I…"

He raised one perfect eyebrow. "It is because of the rumors then."

Unohana could feel her blush deepening. There had been some stories going around since Unohana came out of Byakuya's hospital room, her hair unbound, looking slightly flustered. It was to her dismay that a group of nurses had been loitering in the hallway outside. Their fear of her had apparently been overcome by their need to spread some gossip about her and the 6th division's captain.

She took a deep breath. The situation was getting out of hand. She needed to get it under control, in her favor. Taking his hand and gently peeling it from her wrist, she said "Kuchiki-taichou." He tensed up, almost imperceptibly, as she called him again by his formal title. She looked at him sadly. "The rumors are nothing but rumors. There is no reason for me to be bothered by them."

No reason, but it doesn't mean that she wasn't. As much as she hated to admit it, she had a reputation to uphold.

Locking her eyes with his, she wanted to look down at her hands, at the floor, at his shoes, at her shoes. But she didn't. She felt as if she owed him that. "I'm sorry. Maybe I will tell you one day. But right now, I simply cannot. Please, trust me that it is for your best interest that I am doing this." It was true. She must avoid him until this feeling of… whatever it was she was feeling, went away. It was for their own good.

Byakuya's lips formed into a thin line. His eyes were sharp like daggers. His entire demeanor turned cold. "I see."

Unohana felt her heart fight back to stop him from becoming so aloof. She almost reached out to him but caught herself at the last minute. "It will not be for ever," she said weakly. "This, I believe and earnestly hope for, shall come to pass." _It must._

Byakuya still looked a bit remote but finally nodded. He turned around and stepped back beside her. Unohana understood what he was going to do. He was still going to walk her back to her quarters, even after she indirectly admitted that she was avoiding him. _Why does he always have to be the gentleman,_ she thought fondly.

The walk back was awkward, for Unohana at least. She didn't understand why he wasn't furious with her. If he was, he hid it perfectly. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. She noted that his lips were still slightly pressed together. _So he is a little angry. But not as upset as I thought he would be. _Unohana wondered if this was the result of him still hoping that she will get over with _this _soon. Or that their friendship didn't mean to him as much as it meant to her. Her heart constricted at the thought. _No. I know he values our friendship. He said he loves me. _

Love. Such a simple word. Yet it has stricken fear into the great healer's heart.

Unohana loved many people. And they loved her back. She understood what the word meant. She understood the loyalty and sacrifice that comes with it.

She knew that she loved Byakuya. She had always told him so, when he was still a young child. But now, why did she feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and awkward whenever the words love and Byakuya were paired to each other?

As they passed 3rd Division barracks, the covered pathway split into two: one going north, where the noble families lived, and the other going deeper into the heart of Seireitei, where the other barracks were. They paused for a moment. She turned to him. "Thank you for walking with me, Kuchiki-taichou. It has been a long day. I am sure that you want to return home now and rest. I can make it back home now from here by myself."

"Unohana-taichou, if I had wanted to return home immediately, I would have just shunpo-ed home." _But I didn't, _he seemed to imply.

"Oh. Then, I can't argue with that." He seemed determined to walk her back until they reached the 4th Division barracks. Shrugging to herself, she let him continue to walk with her. They took the path that led to the rest of the Gotei 13 barracks.

"I have been informed that you're planning an excursion. When do you leave?"

She shot him a glance, surprised that he would be interested. Unohana occasionally went out to the mountains of Rukongai in search of medicinal herbs and whatnot. She grew wary at his sudden inquiry. "I am planning to take several of my officers with me this time, actually. Just a bit of review for them of finding and recognizing the right herbs for the right injuries."

Byakuya simply looked at her, waiting. _And? _she almost heard him say.

"I leave on the eve of the third day from today."

"Hm."

She let out a chuckle. "These trips are always amusing whenever I bring someone along, in all honesty. One time, I brought Isane with me and she kept mistaking marijuana for some harmless weed. She took a liking to it because it smelled pleasant. She took some and thought of making tea with it. Or maybe she used them to start a fire. I do not quite remember now. But what a mess that was! Imagine! Marijuana tea? I never experienced that problem with Seinosuke. In fact, he was quite the herb prodigy. Though there was this one time…"

Her words trailed off. She turned to see that Byakuya had stopped walking again. He was looking at her, amused. "Oh. I was rambling, wasn't I?"

"We're here."

"Oh." She was so nervous she forgot they were already standing outside her division's headquarters. She could see the shinigami on night guard duty looking at them, alert and expectant. "Well, it was nice of you to walk me home, Kuchiki-taichou. Until then, goodbye and good night." She turned to head inside, but was stopped by something gripping her sleeve.

"Yes?" Unohana looked at him curiously. And that was when she realized that this was probably going to be their last moment alone together. Her heart sank as she understood that if she really wanted to continue loving him the way she used to, she would stay away.

_He really is so beautiful, up close. _

She couldn't imagine not being able to joke with him again, or hold his hand, or hug him, or kiss him on the forehead. But she must be strong. Until she was able to force her body not to react to him in ways that make even her blush, she was not going near him ever again, heaven help her.

In a low voice, he spoke to her, his words not reaching the night guards. "Unohana Retsu, you need not tell me everything. You have secrets, I know that very well. I've known you for more than half a century, and yet I am aware that there is still a lot about you that I do not know. I have always been most honest with you, even more than I have with my parents—even with Hisana" He paused, and continued ever more softly. "Do not lie to me."

Unohana barely heard it. But there it was on his lips, carried forth by the wind towards her ears, like a soft, sweet kiss.

The word _please._

She almost cried. In a heartbeat, she folded her hands and bowed. That night, under the dim glow of the incandescent lamps that adorned the entrance of the 4th division, she made the biggest mistake of her entire afterlife.

"I promise, Byakuya. I will not lie to you."

If only she had given it even an extra _second_ of thought, things might have ended differently. But what's done is done. She will bind herself to this promise, even if it killed her.

Before she could protest, she felt him touch her chin and gently lift up her bowed head. A hint of a smile played on his lips. For one moment, an unbidden thought flashed in her mind and she thought he was going to kiss her. Anticipation and hope consumed her. She dared not take one breath.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Just as she thought her mind couldn't take it any more and she would lose herself to the dangerous desires of her body, he was gone. An acrid taste rose up and sat on her tongue, making its presence known. She already knew exactly what it was. She swallowed hard. Disappointment.

Notes:

*Seinosuke Yamada. He was Unohana's former lieutenant.


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All characters, places, etc. do not belong to me.

Author's note: I was so happy I was able to finish writing another chapter and it's only been like what? two months since my last update? hahaha sorry guys, I know i'm a bad author. Thank you to all the people nice enough to give reviews! I APPRECIATE IT. I do. I wouldn't have continued this story if it weren't for you. And for the people who keep reading and still haven't given up hope on this story, thank you :) I hope you like this chapter. It's kind of different than the way I usually write. More dialogues i think. I had fun with it. Hope you do too :)

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 8

It was dark in the courtyard inside the 4h Division. Unohana could hear her footsteps echoing in its vastness. The moon could hardly be seen in the cloudy night. As she neared the entrance to the main building itself, she froze abruptly, her stance tense, her senses alert. She whirled around, her eye immediately recognizing the mysterious presence hidden in shadow.

Surprised, though her features betrayed nothing, she smiled politely. "Good evening, Kyōraku-taichou."

Chuckling, he stepped forward. His hand went up to tilt his straw hat. "A pleasant evening to you, too, Unohana-taichou."

"I will be straightforward with you, Kyōraku-taichou. What is the reason for your being here?"

"Oh, yes. Well, I was hoping to see if Uk—."

"Ukitake-taichou has rarely ever been detained here in the infirmary—only during three occasions. On all three occasions, his condition was critical and his life energy dangerously low. You know very well that he is currently healthy, as healthy as his illness allows him to be. If you desire to hear his prescriptions, proscriptions, and other medical descriptions, I'm sure that he can tell you all these himself."

Kyōraku-taichou blinked. Unohana's words rushing through his ears faster than his mind could register them. He made a sheepish smile that he always assumed whenever he interacted with her. "You got me, Unohana-taichou. I was actually here to see Hinamori-fukutaichou."

"I'm afraid visiting hours have ended three hours ago. If you wish to do so, try again tomorrow 11 a.m. to 5 p.m."

"Okay, okay, Unohana-taichou. I didn't come here for that, too."

"I guessed as much."

"You didn't have to be so formidable about it."

"I'm the head of the 4th Division. It is my duty to ensure that there is law and order here in the Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho."

"By striking fear?"

"Not necessarily. Respect is the key. But if it has to be earned by instilling fear in certain people, then I shall do so, Kyōraku-taichou."

"I have to admit, you're doing a pretty good job of that. I'm not surprised though. Anything you do, you do so perfectly."

"When will you learn that your flattery is of no use on me?"

"Maybe five more centuries? Give or take a few decades."

"You're funny."

"But you're not laughing."

"It's been a long night."

"A long month is more like it."

Unohana narrowed her eyes at him. She felt drained, her conversation with Byakuya finally coming down on her like an avalanche. "If you have nothing else to say, I wish to retire for the night."

Kyōraku began panicking and fumbling for words.

"You have not gotten anyone pregnant, have you?" she asked bluntly.

Kyōraku looked stunned and uncharacteristically awkward. "U-Unohana-taichou!"

"I am just kidding, Kyōraku-taichou. A little. Maybe. But I mean it when I said I wish to retire—"

"It's about Aizen."

Unohana's eyes widened for a split second and narrowed into slits. "What is there to discuss? Everything I know, I have already disclosed to the Gotei 13 Captains." A wary glare. "Unless you suspect there is still something else I have yet to divulge?"

"No, Unohana-taichou. I trust that you aren't keeping any secrets. Please, don't think that I don't trust you—"

A moment passed between them. Finally, Unohana nodded. "I see now. You want to know the reason why?"

He chuckled and tipped his hat in admiration at her astuteness. "You never cease to amaze, Unohana-taichou. Yes, it is a question that has been bothering me since you told us what happened in the Seijōtōkyorin.

Why didn't Aizen attack you?"

Some time later, Kyōraku and Unohana were sitting on the patio outside the 4th Division Barracks which was overlooking a small pond, with the forest beyond it. Both of them sat in contemplation, staring at the golden lamp lights dancing over the water.

"I still don't quite understand."

A soft sigh. "Neither do I, Kyōraku-taichou. His goal was to extract the Hōgyoku from Kuchiki Rukia's soul. Killing me would not have accomplished anything. Besides, he knew I was not going to attack him."

A surreptitious glance. "Ah, yes. You do have an aversion to violence. Even for someone as wicked as Aizen, you would not lay a hand on him."

A raised eyebrow. "I have devoted these hands for healing, Kyōraku-taichou. Would it not be duplicitous of me if the same hands that heal were the same hands that kill?"

A conceding smile. "Touché, Unohana-taichou. You would not have been you if it were otherwise."

"A good and respected captain is fair and consistent. You, on the other hand, are acting uncommonly sober or at least sober enough to be having this conversation with me."

Kyōraku let out a deep, rich laugh that echoed into the night. Unohana felt a sudden admiration and awe for his openness and unrestraint. She had never heard Byakuya laugh that freely after Hisana got sick.

"Hush, you." Unohana guessed half of Seireitei must have just been rudely awakened.

"I'm sorry. I just, I mean, have you always been this funny?"

"… You know, it wasn't that funny."

"Well, this might be the first time I've heard you joke twice in the same night."

"That's because you are always too busy being afraid of me."

"W-What? I—don't know what your talking about—"

"I feel your bones quake whenever I come near you, you and Ukitake-taichou both."

"Well, could you blame me? After what happened that time…"

"I recall it was you who started it."

"But I only wanted to ask you out!"

"Faking Jūshirō's death is not a way to ask someone out!"

Kyōraku had actually tried pursuing her in the past, when he had not known yet how she was… substantially older than him. Despite his failed attempts on getting her on a date with him, they grew into a playful friendship. But not after he had overcome his fear of her. Although he wouldn't really be honest if he said that she no longer scared him.

But there are just those times when he couldn't resist teasing her about being too hard-to-get. This was one of those times.

"It was by far the best idea we had. I mean, we had to think of _something_ to compete with Kuchiki. I mean, have you seen this guy? He could make a girl fall in love with him without giving her as much as a glance."

Unohana froze at the mention of his name. Kyōraku immediately saw her discomfort.

"Unohana-taichou, I didn't—."

"How long were you waiting for me in the courtyard, Kyōraku-taichou?"

With some reluctance, he answered. "As soon as we were dismissed, I came here straightaway. I knew you had a habit of walking, so I waited for you to arrive."

"Is that so?" she asked, unnerved that she hadn't felt his presence right away. She must have been too busy thinking of how miserable her situation was with Byakuya.

As if hearing her thoughts, he answered. "Yes, I was wondering why you hadn't sensed me yet when you arrived at the gate. I was about to make my presence known until I saw you were with someone else."

She felt her heart stop working as her brain went into overdrive. _Could he have seen…?_

"Don't worry, Unohana-taichou. I'm not going to tell," he said with a soft, knowing smile.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

"Oh, I should hardly think that the members of Byakuya's female fan club are going to let you off the hook without giving them all the… dirty details. After all, as the popular saying goes, never _kiss and tell_."

She shook her head violently. "No! No! You are mistaken. He did no such thing." _If he thought we kissed, did the guards think so, too?_

He looked surprised. "Oh. Well, I didn't really get a good look back there—."

"You were _spying _on us?"

"What? No! No, I was merely… curious as to what your relationship with him really is. I mean there's this whole debate about whether you're really dating him or not."

"So you decided to see for yourself." The look on her face told him she was not happy. Not happy at all.

"I apologize, Unohana-taichou. If you said he didn't do anything, then I believe you."

Unohana dropped her eyes and stared at her hands. She resisted the urge to sigh. She still tasted the bitter disappointment when he did not kiss her. And now she had to convince someone else that indeed, he did not kiss her. She felt tired, embarrassed and a little angry. The fates had not been kind to her that night.

Finally noticing that Kyōraku was still waiting for her to reply, she raised her head. "No, Kyōraku-taichou. He did not kiss me."

Kyōraku stared at her for one long moment. He must have seen something in her eyes because she saw something in his. Understanding.

"But you wanted him to."

Unohana, with her centuries of training, managed not to gasp. She nervously glanced around and tried feeling if there was anyone nearby. Fortunately for her, there wasn't.

"How do you know that?" she whispered, terrified with the shame that went with it, yet relieved at the same time that maybe for once, maybe, she didn't have to pretend.

"I've seen that look before. I see it everyday when I look in the mirror."

A small, white hand touched his large tan one. "But there is still hope for you."

"And you don't? Unohana-taichou, I don't know if you've noticed this, but I've seen the way he looks at you. He doesn't do that for anybody else. Well, aside from Rukia, that is. I know that I don't really know him that well. But it doesn't take a genius to see that you mean a lot to him."

"Perhaps so, but not in the way that you think. For years, I treated him like he was my own child. I cared for him. Nurtured him. Loved him. Especially after his grandfather withdrew from society, I was like the only family he had left. But now, as I look back, maybe I should not have come into his life in the first place."

"No," Kyōraku said firmly and repeated it, shaking his head. "No, I don't think so. You know he would have found his way into your heart, one way or another."

Unohana laughed, the first time since Kyōraku could remember that night. "Yes, I think you're right. I would never have traded all those happy memories for the world."

Kyōraku smiled but there was still a curious expression on his face.

"What is it, Kyōraku-taichou? Is there something else you wanted to say?"

"Hmm? Well, I was just remembering something. When Byakuya pulled away from you, I could have sworn I saw him smirking at me, as if to say… he had… won you over me."

"What? But… that doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, it doesn't. I don't know where he got the idea that I was going to steal you or anything. You are a remarkable woman, Unohana-taichou, don't get me wrong. But I would not trade our friendship for a brief romance."

"Because relationships with you do not last?"

"No, because I know you're not interested in me that way."

"Oh. Wait, going back. I was saying it didn't make sense because why would he have anything to prove to you if he… didn't… see you…"

Her eyes frosted and her entire expression became cold.

"He knew you were watching."

"Yes, he did. He detected me the very moment I realized that he was with you. He knew _exactly _what he was doing when he leaned close to you."

"What exactly are you implying?"

"That he was trying to make me jealous."

"Kyōraku-taichou, he is hardly the type to battle for someone's affections, especially from someone like me." She paused, thinking deeply. "And if he did want to make you jealous, it would not be for the reason that you think. He may be acting like a child trying to scare away his mother's possible suitors."

Still, Kyōraku didn't seem convinced. But he knew they could argue on about this forever and they would still come to no conclusion. So he tried a different approach.

"Byakuya is exceptionally intelligent. Don't you think he knows?"

"Knows what?"

"You know," he leaned in closer to whisper, "that you're in love with him."

"I don't recall ever saying those words, Kyōraku-taichou," she said, with a little more force than she should have used.

"Well, yeah, but you implied it…"

"You are mistaken then. I said I love him. He knows this."

"Ah! But not in the way that he _thinks_."

Unohana stubbornly remained silent. Kyōraku, on the other hand, softened as he realized that Unohana had not yet accepted the truth. He could understand why. Loving Byakuya, in a romantic way, would cause complications. Unohana was a servant of peace, not a disturbance maker. He guessed that she probably thought in was inappropriate for her to love him. But he knew for a fact that love had no limits. Unohana would have to learn that. Eventually.

No matter the time, the age, the distance, no matter the odds, love cannot be caged.

"There's nothing wrong with loving someone."

"No, you're right. There isn't."

"Then what is stopping you from admitting the truth?"

Unohana stoically did not say a word. Instead, looking up at the moon, she could see that it was really getting late. Kyōraku took the hint and got up, brushing nonexistent dirt off his pink floral kimono.

"I guess I have overstayed my welcome, Unohana-taichou." He bid her a good night. He turned to shunpo away, but before he left, she heard him whisper. "There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists…"

"Or simulate it where it does not," she answered back softly.

A smile, a breeze. She was now alone.

Only then did she have the courage to answer the question Kyōraku left hanging in the dark.

_Then what is stopping you from admitting the truth?_

_Everything, Kyōraku-taichou. Everything._

After a long day, a long night, and a long heart-to-heart conversation, there was only one thought left running through her head.

She really needed to get some sleep.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"What do you mean you're coming along?"

Unohana was staring disbelievingly at the faces of the members of the tea ceremony club. Byakuya had just mentioned her upcoming excursion to Yamamoto, the leader of said club. She glared at him with death in her eyes.

"It would be a wonderful, learning experience, Unohana-taichou. Don't you think so, too, Abarai-fukutaichou?" Yamamoto turned to the fiery-redhead.

Renji, startled at the sudden shift of attention to him, stammered incoherently. "Uh, I—I, well, it's—" Byakuya slowly turned his head in his lieutenant's direction, half his face was in shadow. With an evil glint, he sent poor Renji into a nervous frenzy. "Of course, soutaichou! A wonderful, wonderful learning experience! He he *cough*."

Unohana should have known. Avoiding Byakuya in an inconspicuous manner was going to be difficult. But with the two of them being in the Tea Ceremony Club, the Calligraphy Club, in addition to the Captains' meetings? It was impossible.

Some of the captains had suggested to forgo all extracurricular clubs. But Yamamoto was adamant that they still try to maintain some semblance of normalcy. Besides, some rest and recreation never hurt anybody, especially after all the hard training taking place daily in every division.

And what did she expect? That Byakuya would go down without a fight? That he would give up a mystery without solving it? She knew how he loved a challenge. And right now, the challenge was to find out what was bothering his dearest friend so badly that she would resort to avoiding him.

Unohana mentally shook her head and brought herself back to the matters at hand. "This excursion, soutaichou, is for 4th Division purposes! A teaching course on medicinal herbs, not on herbal tea leaves!"

"But Unohana-taichou, Kuchiki-taichou has already agreed to sponsor for this event for the best interest of the club. It would be a shame to waste such well-meaning generosity."

_Well-meaning my…_

"I have already paid for the necessary expenses, including you and your members' equipment," Byakuya said, as-a-matter-of-factly.

"But how do you know how many of my officers I intended to bring?"

He answered calmly that he didn't. He bought enough supplies for the whole 4th division population.

Unohana started to feel an intense headache rising. She knew Renji would probably be wondering why, for someone as smart as Byakuya, he didn't even bother to ask how many members were coming along with her. But she understood that he bought everything beforehand so she couldn't refuse to take them with her. It was a devious trick. But the real question was this.

Was it working?

She looked Byakuya in the eye. Feeling her competitiveness rise up to meet his challenge, her lips stretched into an eerie smile.

_Well played. _

Unohana knew this was going to be a bad idea. That this was going to defeat the whole purpose of avoiding him. But she was not known to give up a challenge either. Plus, she was secretly thrilled that he went through all this trouble just to figure out what she was hiding. It fed her ego.

He wanted to break into the impenetrable fortress that is her will? Well, let him try.

"Very well, soutaichou, Kuchiki-taichou, Abarai-fukutaichou. We meet before sunlight. If _any_ of you are late," she gave each of them a sharp look. "I will not wait for you."

Her eyes lingered on Byakuya's a bit longer. He raised an eyebrow and, in the briefest of seconds, he smiled.

_The fiend, s_he thought.

She gave him a dark smile in return.

_Challenge accepted._

Notes:

"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not." –Kin Hubard

Seijōtōkyorin – "Tranquil Forest of Residential Towers"; living quarters of the members of Central 46

P.S. Please tell me what you think. I wanted to show a lighter, more scheming side of Byakuya. I think he can be devious when he wants to (like the time he barred the entrance of the secret room of the Shinigami Women's Association). Sorry if you think he's a little bit ooc. But that's just how I see him. Anyway, do you think they should end up together? Or does Unohana have good reason not to pursue a relationship with Byakuya? I want to know your opinions :D so if you can, or if this story still interests you, please review! :)


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Unohana, Byakuya, etc. are all from Bleach, which I do not own. Thank you.

Author's note: Got an update again! Tell me what you think of the end. I managed to insert a narration from Byakuya's pov. Do you like it? Or shall I stick with Unohana's pov? Thanks!

Please read and review!

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 9

Rain.

All around her, the rain fell perpetually. She could see it. She could feel it. But she could not hear it. The only sound came from somewhere she could not see.

She rushed forward, then back again, frantically searching for the source making the pitiful sounds. It was a girl crying. She did not know how she knew this, but she felt it in her heart. She was the only one who could save this girl. She had to find her. She had to save her.

The rain grew harder and fell in sheets. She could no longer see through the immoveable rain. The street lamps were flickering, the only light in that dark cobblestone path. Her braid had unraveled. Her ribbon must have fell somewhere along the way. She could not remember. It was not important. The only thing that mattered was finding this girl and rescuing her from her demons.

She stumbled, her foot slipping off an uneven brick. Her forearm bled, crimson blossoming on her white captain's coat. She didn't feel pain, and her wound was instantly forgotten as she struggled to stand upright.

The crying sound was louder now. Yet somehow, it was farther away. She felt her own tears overflowing, mingling with the rain. A sob broke through. Time was running out.

She started sprinting. She did not know where she was heading. But standing around doing nothing didn't feel right. Strangers, dark with shadows streaked past her, strangers who did not seem to notice the anguished cries that she heard. The sound was closer now. And she could just make out two other voices, one feminine and the other deeper and masculine, murmuring words of comfort laced with panic and worry.

_Where are they? _

She had to find them. She had to. They were depending on her. She ran onwards. She still couldn't see them. She was going to be too late. Her fingers were trembling. A wracking feeling enveloped her and consumed her will. She could feel her spirit crumbling under her desperation. Feelings of hopelessness and despair weighed on her mind, rendering her into a state of befuddlement. She couldn't think straight. Her movements seemed to slow down, as if the world had gone into slow motion. She felt completely useless.

Rain still poured down, pushing her under. Her feet were sinking into the earth. But she won't stop. She trudged forward, through the mud. But she could not stop sinking. The man and woman were crying now. She could no longer hear the child.

_No. _

Her hands tore through her long black hair, wet and heavy with rain. Sobbing, she fell to her knees.

_No no no no no no._

The man was screaming now, howling, cursing, roaring in the darkness. Barely, she heard the woman's sobs.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

She was too late.

_No. It can't be. This can't be happening. No. No!_

_NO!_

Unohana woke up, gasping, her hair clinging to her face by her own sweat. She glanced at the open window. The moon was where she left it. She had not even slept for more than an hour.

Quickly, she got out of bed and started pacing around her room. Her hands were freezing, her feet were jittery, and her stomach was churning. She was still trembling from her nightmare. She felt frustrated. These nightmares just would not go away. She had them for as long as she could remember. But these past few weeks, they had been plaguing her sleep, never giving her a moment of peace, a chance to rest. In fact, since the revelation of Aizen's betrayal, she had not slept for longer than three hours.

Searching through her cupboards, she found a jar labeled VALERIAN. It was an herbal tea that she prepared to calm her nerves whenever she had sleeping problems. She took the cover off. _Empty_. She reached for the other jars.

PEPPERMINT. _Also empty_.

LAVENDER. _Not enough to make a cup_.

KAVA KAVA. _Not what I need_.

CHAMOMILE. _Perfect_.

Ten minutes later, she was sitting on her porch, sipping tea. She had calmed down by now. But she was still reluctant to return to bed, fearful that her nightmares awaited her on the other side. Besides, in a few more hours it would be time to leave for her field trip. She took another sip. Problems just kept tumbling down, one after the other. Aizen. Rukia. Hinamori. Byakuya. And now she was having these nightmares again? The world just simply refused to give her some rest.

She closed her eyes and inhaled the sharp, cold, night air. Nevertheless, she loved the feeling of being tired. It made her feel productive, even though she really wasn't sometimes. She just wanted to be _doing _something, not wasting precious time. She needed control. Not like in her dream where she couldn't do anything at all.

In the corner of her eye, she saw a green tail, swishing casually in the air.

"Good evening, Minazuki."

_You should be resting_, Minazuki answered, ignoring her greeting.

"I'm fine."

She could feel Minazuki rolling her eyes.

_Let's see if you'll still be saying that after today_, Minazuki warned cryptically.

"What's happening today?"

But Minazuki had already gone back to her sword state. Unohana sighed softly. She had always found her katana useful for her foresight. But sometimes it was just frustrating. Her prophecies were sometimes just too obscure.

Oh well, whatever it was, she was going to find out anyway, one way or another.

Quietly, she continued sipping her tea.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The ride to District 17 was long and uneventful. The party of seven consisted of the 4th division's captain, together with four of her subordinates plus Captain Kuchiki and his lieutenant. The Captain-Commander was inauspiciously detained by other more pressing matters and so was "unfortunately unable to attend." They rode in a long, comfortable carriage driven by several well-bred horses, courtesy of Captain Kuchiki. All the males present were fast asleep, with some snoring occasionally, breaking the rhythmic clip-clopping of the horses' hooves and creaking coming from the wheels' of the carriage. But Unohana suspected that Byakuya, though his eyes had not opened since the beginning of the ride, had not fallen asleep for even one second. She had a strong suspicion that he was still totally aware of his surroundings—or more specifically, totally aware that every female pair of eyes was feasting on him.

Except for Unohana, of course.

She managed not to roll her eyes. Even Isane had overcome her timidity and was stealing shy glances at the 6th Division's captain every thirty seconds.

Unohana wished she could also take a nap. But reuniting with her nightmare was something she was not willing to risk, especially when she was surrounded by so many other people. No one knew of her nightmares. She was intent on keeping it that way.

Her eyes were automatically diverted to him. He simply had an innate magnetic charm that attracted females. The fact that he was seated directly in front of her may also have been a factor. His scarf was glittering with the occasional sunlight seeping through the blinded windows. It contrasted sharply with his black shinigami uniform. The two of them had left behind their white captain's coats, not wanting to attract the public's eyes. As if he finally sensed that he was being observed, his eyes shot wide open. Immediately, his steel grey eyes met her dark blue ones.

Embarrassed at being caught staring at him, she tried to shrug it off casually by giving him a polite smile. He simply closed his eyes again. Some would have called it rude. But she knew him well enough to understand that it was just his way of avoiding unnecessary conversation.

Peering through the wooden blinds of the window beside her, she saw green foliage streaking past her like a verdant river. She was starting to regret ever agreeing to bring Byakuya and his lieutenant along.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kneeling beside a dense collection of shallow, dark green plants, she delicately uprooted some from the earth. She made sure she got only what she needed. She carefully placed them inside one of the many drawstring pouches she had brought along.

"These are kudzu. You can use the leaves to make tea. But it is the roots that are most helpful, especially against headaches, migraines, and even hangovers."

Her audience's attention piqued up at the word hangover. In a split second, almost all of them were on their knees and stashing up their own collection of kudzu roots.

Unohana mentally shook her head, amused by their enthusiasm. "Remember, take only what you need."

She glanced to the side. Several yards away, observing the calm mountain forest was Captain Kuchiki. He did not appear to be listening.

Unohana felt a terrible feeling, close to irritation, bubble up inside her, but with centuries of practice, she managed to quell it before it even registered in her mind. She didn't understand. One would have thought that he would at least show some semblance of interest with how he was so adamant and all on joining this excursion. _He_ was the one who went through all the trouble of buying her whole division hiking gear and supplies.

They had been hiking through the mountains, searching through every shred of vegetation and undergrowth for hours now. If she calculated correctly, it would be just a little after noon. She raised her eyes to the sky. The sun hit squarely on her eyes and for a moment, she felt disoriented. In truth, she had been feeling indisposed since the trek started. A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Her eyes took a moment to adjust, but she did not need her sight to tell that it was Byakuya.

"It is time for lunch," he said, brief and concise, allowing no room for argument. He was looking at her rather oddly, but he did not say another word. She was grateful that he did not ask her what was wrong. No need to catch the others' attentions.

"Yes, I believe you're right."

Ten minutes later, they were all seated on clean, crisp linen sheets on a wide, even-grounded meadow. Sandwiches, cakes, poultry, fish, red meat, and other kinds of delicacies were spread out around them. There was enough to feed a small army. There were even a few bottles of wine, hidden behind towering stacks of hot buns.

All around Unohana, her companions dived in, piling mountains of food on their plates. Everyone was hungry after their trek up the mountain range beside District 17. Renji was on his way to his fourth plate.

She looked to her side where Byakuya was seated, his back slightly turned to her. He clearly showed a greater amount of self-control than the rest of their companions. She was not sure if her mind was playing tricks on her but she thought she caught him indulging in some chocolate-coated strawberries.

Unohana was hungry as well but one look at the dizzying array of dishes sent her vision in a spiral. She stared at the leaf-wrapped rice ball resting on her hands. She wanted to eat it so badly. If only it stopped morphing into two.

She glanced around. All of them were too busy enjoying the feast to notice her creep silently away from their group and slip into the forest.

She kept on walking, not knowing where she was headed. She just needed to get away and collect herself. In a blink of an eye, she shunpo-ed and immediately regretted it. She could no longer see or walk straight. The forest had turned into a spinning green vortex. Her blood was pounding in her ears. She frantically grasped for support.

Her hand rested on a very large tree, soaring nearly a hundred feet above her head and spreading out almost 10 feet in diameter. She allowed herself to lean on it. The strong, sturdy trunk was a welcome anchor to the spinning world around her. She closed her eyes, trying to find her bearing.

Was it from lack of sleep?

No, it couldn't be. She had gone through more than seven complete days without a minute's sleep, yet she'd never had dizzying spells before.

Maybe all those healing were finally starting to take a toll on her.

Cautiously peeking from underneath her eyelids, she was relieved to see the world had slowed down to a gentle rocking motion, no longer swirling violently like a Tazmanian devil. She noticed she was still holding the rice ball with her other hand. Slowly, she unwrapped and nibbled on it, wishing on her stars that it would give her strength.

She slowly glanced around, not wanting to set the ground in motion again. She had best be heading back. The others would start to notice. Maybe she had picked up an herb for nausea back in her stash.

As she started to step away from the tree, the leaves gave way beneath her and she fell into a dark, black hole under the thick, massive veins of the humongous tree.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Back at the meadow, Isane, Renji and the others were lying on their backs, extremely full and satisfied. The 6th Division's lieutenant was hiccupping slightly from the whole bottle of wine he finished.

It was Isane who spoke first. "Eh? Where is Unohana-taichou?" She sat up abruptly, twisting and turning her head in all directions, searching frantically for her captain. She noticed another person was also missing.

"Kuchiki-taichou is missing as well…"

"Don't be such a worry wart, Isane. They're fine. What could possibly harm Unohana-taichou? And I'm pretty sure Kuchiki-taichou is with her." Renji casually waved his hand in her direction, too content to worry.

"Hm… I guess you're right, Abarai-san."

With one last nervous look at the places where the two captains had sat, she lied back down and fell fast asleep.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Blinking, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. It was surprisingly not that dark in the cavern beneath the roots of the monstrous tree. Occasional beams of sunlight pierced through the ceiling above her. Her situation was becoming alarmingly familiar. She tried to get up but automatically yelped as a sharp pain shot out from her left ankle. She must have twisted it on the way down. She wondered if it was broken or just sprained. No matter, her threshold for pain was unimaginably high. A broken ankle would only be a strand of hair out of place.

But her tolerance for dizziness was uncharted territory. Unfortunately, the fall triggered something in her head and the vertigo suddenly pounced back on her with a vengeance. She lied there, among the musty, decaying leaves, and willed the world to stop rotating. She had to get out of there soon. It reminded her too much of…

Her plan was to escape from that prison and heal her ankle when she got back to the world above.

It was too unreal in that place. There was a feeling of timelessness and a sickening familiarity in that natural cavity. She was not a claustrophobic person. Yet she was trying not to panic from the fear she would never be able to break free from that dark cave and return to the surface.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

She opened her eyes and wished she didn't.

_This place… It's just like…_

She had never lost this much control. She had never been this afraid. Not since that day.

Breathing deeply, she tried to calm herself. Byakuya will find her. He will save her.

_No!_

Her pride rose and fought against this.

_I am not some damsel in distress! I am _not _the helpless girl I once was! No, I won't be afraid anymore._

She got herself in there, by kami, she was going to get herself out. If only the spinning would cease.

Her hand groped for some leverage and came upon something hard and sharp. Blood streamed down her arm from where she had accidentally cut herself. It was a broken piece of glass, embedded diagonally, hidden underneath a blanket of dead leaves beside her.

She stared hard at the piece of glass until finally, the dizziness subsided. With shaking hands, she pushed the leaves aside until the offending object was revealed. It looked like a glass sword.

_It can't be._

Two thirds of it was still buried in the ground. She frantically dug through the earth, not caring that the dirt was embedding itself underneath her fingernails, mixing with her blood. It was going to take some very good scrubbing to get her fingers clean again.

At last, she was able to pull the sword out. It was dirty, yet somehow, still beautiful. A ray of light touched its tip, bursting into a million different colors. Its hilt was also made of glass. She rubbed some of the dirt off and in the darkness she could make out two small characters embossed at the end. She stared disbelievingly, her heart in her throat, her eyes wide with astonishment and dread.

_This sword…_

Her mind grew numb as she recognized her family name.

_This is the sword._

She gazed in horror as the shadows of her memories washed over her, forcing her under.

_This is the place._

That was her last thought before her mind succumbed to the darkness.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kuchiki Byakuya was a man of many emotions. Although almost everyone who had ever met him would question this, since his face never betrayed anything except his usual indifference and superiority. Some would even go so far as to doubt the existence of a heart beneath his cold, icy persona.

That was absolutely preposterous.

How could he have risked losing his life to save Rukia from Gin's sword if he had no heart? The thought that he had almost lost her still sent invisible shivers down his spine. That he had been the one to…

And besides, everyone knew by now that he had been married once, out of love, against his family's desires, against everything he grew up believing. He fought against them and almost lost _everything_. All for love. And he still believed it was the best decision he had ever made in his entire afterlife.

_Hisana._

Her name was like a soft, satin ribbon flowing in the wind, tender and bittersweet. It tortured him and he welcomed it. It was like a wound he kept reopening. He embraced the pain every time. Her face, her voice, her laugh, her tears, he held on to them like a drowning man holds on to a wooden plank. It was his life support. It nourished him with memories he feared would disappear the moment he stopped thinking about them. It was all he had left of her, aside from the sister he had found, had "saved." For Hisana.

_Rukia._

She looked so much like Hisana. Yet, they were completely different in character. Rukia was strong, independent. A fighter. Hisana was… She was…

_She was beautiful. From the inside out._

Her hair was black as night. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of blue and violet. Her skin was pale, soft, almost flawless, considering the fact that she came from the dirtiest corners of Rukongai. Her smile was the refreshing rain after a long drought. Her heart was pure and golden. She had, at times, reminded him strongly of the 4th Division captain.

Once, when he had nothing to do, he actually made a list of similarities and differences between the two women.

Maybe it was this uncanny physical likeness that made him fall for Hisana in the first place. After all, wasn't there a saying that a man looked for a wife that strongly resembled his mother. Or something akin to that.

But most probably not. They were too different in so many ways as well.

_Mother. Unohana Retsu._

He had never really known his mother or father. It was the story of his life. He had long since accepted what fate had handed him. It should have bothered him more than it actually did. But it didn't. Not anymore. Not since he had met Unohana on his sixth birthday. Not since he gave her his heart because he knew she would always take care of him.

Her friendship and love was something he was grateful for. Even though she was of no noble birth, she had a refined quality about her and a great aura of dignity that could almost be mistaken for aristocracy. Almost. What set her apart was that she had none of the cold and detached demeanor that was forever attributed to the noble families. She was always warm and caring, even to people she had just met for the first time. She had never turned him away when he came to her for anything. But ever since that fateful day of Aizen's most shocking betrayal, and Unohana had started becoming "unavailable," he knew there was something else going on.

He was hurt at first. Who wouldn't be? He wanted to be offended. _But this was Unohana._ He knew her well enough to know she would not do anything to intentionally affront him.

So instead of getting upset, he resolved to discover the reason behind her evasion.

It wasn't as easy as he thought it would be.

Unohana had many secrets, that much he knew. No one was certain of her past, since she became a captain in the Gotei 13 long before the others has assumed their positions. But what secret could she be hiding from him now, at the present? It couldn't be something for his birthday He just had one a few months past. If it was anyone else acting abnormally, he would have shrugged it off and continued on with his life. _But this was Unohana_.

What killed him was when she started making excuses. Whether they were the truth or merely lies, he did not know. If she no longer wanted to see him, she should have just said so. His pride fought against him, wanting to leave Unohana alone and not make a fool of himself any longer. But he loved her too much to simply let go. (The same way he had loved Hisana too much to stop fighting for the right to marry her.

No. Not had loved. He still did.

He murmured a silent prayer, a brief, habitual yet poignant declaration of love, to his past wife, wherever she may be.)

So when he was finally able to get Unohana alone, he grabbed his chance. Confronting her did not elicit a confession out of her except guaranteeing her honesty. But he was able to make a breakthrough. It was then he began to notice that she was not completely well. She had not been able to sense Kyōraku-taichou's presence immediately that night. He could tell she was not eating as much as she should, too. Her cheekbones were now slightly more prominent. He had also detected the faintest shadows beneath her eyes. He guessed that she was not sleeping well enough.

Byakuya was mystified. Unohana was such a strong, calm, and virtuous woman. What kind of demons could possibly be haunting her dreams? Or perhaps she was worried about other things. Like the 5th Division's lieutenant. Or Aizen.

_Aizen._

He had almost lost everything again. Because of this man who was arrogant enough to attempt to take the seat of Heaven.

_Foolish man._

_If it had not been for her… _

Byakuya once again, thanked the heavens for this remarkable woman who had long ago saved him from a dark, depressing childhood and, just a few weeks ago, from Death itself.

Well, if Unohana wasn't taking care of herself, someone else very well should. And what better way to show his gratitude than by protecting her from herself? If she was so adamant in keeping her troubles to herself, he was not going to force her to share them with him. But, he swore to himself, he was going to take care of her health, whether she liked it or not. He was _not_ going to let her avoid him any longer. She was ill and needed his help. He could think of no other way in which he could be wrong.

Unless she was with child…

Byakuya immediately dismissed the thought. She was not that kind of woman. No. It's just not possible. He ignored the way his lungs coincidentally malfunctioned at the thought of Unohana making love with some tall, dark, faceless man. His elegant hands curled into fists. No one was worthy of Unohana.

Since he was young, he had put her on a pedestal so high that he honestly believed no man could ever reach her. Not Ukitake with his famous smile, Kyōraku with his visible chest hair, or anyone else for that matter. Regrettably, this included him.

He knew he was a well sought-after man. He was—what did Rukia say the women of Gotei 13 call him? A catch? He willed himself not to wrinkle his nose at the distasteful phrase. He resented the very idea of him being likened to that of a fish. But, contrary to Unohana's suspicions, he was indeed aware of how his presence usually affected a typical female. He was a renowned captain, proficient in swordsmanship, kido, shunpo, and hand-to-hand combat. His spiritual pressure was more than impressive. He was of the nobility, thus, inconceivably rich. It could not be overlooked that he was also several centuries younger.

But Unohana was at another level entirely. Pure. Strong. Flawless. Forever unreachable. And he held on to the belief that she was completely uninterested to be involved in a relationship.

Well, the bottom line was, Unohana was unwell. So when he found out she was going on an excursion, he knew he had to be there with her. He had an ominous feeling that something was going to happen to her. And he had to save her from whatever this danger was, just as she had saved him.

Speaking of which, where was the person he was supposed to be protecting?

He scanned the group, all of which were still unaware of anything other than the vast array of delicious food before them. He mentally cursed. She was in trouble, he could feel it in his bones.

He was horrible at this job, though he would sooner die a gruesome death rather than admit that. That was simply why he left the healing and caring to Unohana. He wondered if his ineptitude to look after someone had any effect at all on his wife's death.

That was a horrible thought.

In any case, he had better start learning or else he might just lose someone he cared very much about. Again.


	11. Chapter 10

Author's note: I think I've made it quite clear that I do not own Bleach, yes? So no more disclaimers because they are getting tedious. So I want to thank you to all those who reviewed! And a special thanks goes to A Dream You've Chased! This talented author of several Byakuya/Unohana fics (or I'm sure you've already known that) is the one who taught me about "courtly love" (which Wikipedia defines as a medieval European notion about chivalrous love and admiration) and how it was so appropriate for what Byakuya feels for Unohana. I've learned other insights as well from this author which I am excited to use in the future chapters.

So this is the final chapter before Unohana discloses her deepest, darkest secret. We see a glimpse of what happened immediately after Unohana blacked out. We also learn a little more about Hisana's relationship with Byakuya, which she reveals to Unohana before she died. And last, Byakuya makes a decision that would change his relationships with both Rukia and Unohana, for better or for worse.

Not Just A Mother Figure

CHAPTER 10

Beams of sunlight dancing across the ceiling were the first things she saw when she opened her eyes. She had woken to the sound of birds chirping merrily outside. Any other day, this would have set her off in a good mood. But this particular day she felt nothing but confusion.

She closed her eyes again, her mind still shackled to the last dregs of black sleep. Strangely, her body felt weak and tired, despite just having woken up. She was tempted to go back to sleep, but curiosity reigned.

But what she really needed at that moment was something to quench her thirst. Her mouth was unbearably dry, and her head was slightly aching, She frowned. She could recite the symptoms of mild dehydration in her sleep. But associating these with herself felt peculiarly incongruous.

As if someone had foreseen her current predicament, there was a glass of water beside the mat she was lying on. The water was sparkling prettily from the light that refracted through the simply-designed glass. At that moment, she felt as if she had never seen anything as beautiful as that glass of water.

As she eagerly reached for the vessel of precious liquid, her trained mind automatically recorded several things. Among these observations was, one, she was in her room, in the 4th Division barracks.

Two, there were bandages wrapped carefully around her hand. (Surprised at this injury, she examined it curiously. It didn't hurt her. Whoever fixed her up or healed her had done a wonderful job.)

Three, there was a tiny card lying beside the spot where the glass had been waiting for her. There was nothing spectacular about this card, indeed, it looked rather plain. An ordinary person would have taken another moment or two to notice it. Unohana, in her current state of health and mind, had come dangerously close to overlooking it. But for the fact that she was a captain, skilled with ultra-sensitive bodily detectors and a keen eye for detail, she had sensed its presence even before her eyes landed on the said foreign object.

Question after question piled up on top of each other. Unohana was a straightforward, no non-sense person. She wanted answers, stable, concrete, factual answers. But first, water.

After she had drained the entire glass in one go, she pensively stretched for the unobtrusive piece of paper. The outside of the card had no design, no picture, no names, nothing, yet she could not deny that it had an elegant, expensive quality about it. Inside was a short, curt sentence—actually, it was a word—that did not sound far from a command.

_Rest_.

It was written in a beautiful, familiar handwriting. All strokes were delicate and precise. Perfect.

Her heart warmed and broke just a little, unaware that a gentle, bittersweet smile spread across her face.

He really could be so thoughtful when he wanted to, Byakuya did. She knew he wouldn't go as far as sending flowers, but this was probably as sensitive as he could get. Outwardly showing empathy has never been his habit. It simply wasn't his nature. But it made his more than rare moments of displaying genuine concern all the more meaningful and sincere when he tried. And she loved him all the more for it.

Frowning, she realized that this emotion really needed to stop. Getting up off her mat, she found another bandage wrapped around her ankle. Suddenly, the memories came flooding back to her like continuous flashes of lightning.

_The sword_!

She anxiously ran her uninjured hand through her unbound hair, to keep it away from her eyes and from getting in the way of her thorough examination of her quarters. She zoomed from room to room, searched beneath blankets and behind closet doors. From the bedroom, to the kitchen, to the tiny drawing room, she flash-stepped back and forth, becoming almost untraceable at the speed she was using. She could feel a pounding noise in her ears. _Pulsatile Tinnitus. May result from accelerated blood flow near the ear or a heightened awareness of blood flow in ear.*_

It wasn't there.

She felt as if she was in a dream. She fancied she was another person looking down upon herself panicking at the possibility that a shard of her history might have been revealed to whoever it was that rescued her from the cavern beneath the earth.

This couldn't possibly be happening to her. She buried her past in the deep darkness for so long. For a thousand years. How could it resurface now? How could a deceptively inconsequential excursion trigger such an unfortunate event?

At her right, the sliding door slammed open as Isane burst through, anxious with shoulders taut. Yet, as soon as she saw her captain standing, seemingly calm, relief washed through her veins. Unohana distantly noted her lieutenant's astounding transformation as the tension left her body in one rapid motion.

"Taichou! You're awake!" She began into one long, run-on sentence on how she felt Unohana's reiatsu shoot up and how she thought something had gone wrong and how worried she had been and how Unohana had been asleep for nearly three days and how sorry she was and how she should have not listened to Abarai-fukutaichou and how she's never going to take a nap after lunch and how—

"Isane, please, calm down. As you can see, I'm perfectly fine."

Isane still looked as if she was going to burst into tears at any second.

"Really, Isane. All I had was a cut and a sprained ankle. Nothing to worry about. I've had injuries exponentially greater than these," Unohana said, trying to make light of the situation, embarrassing as it already was.

"But it took you three days to gain consciousness!"

"I admit that I… had perhaps… pushed myself a little bit too far, with all the patients that needed healing and extra work that needed to be done. I may have, at times, forgotten to attend to my own personal health." Isane put on a disapproving, concerned look as Unohana said these words. She was about to give her a piece of her mind, but Unohana beat her to it. "I feel fine now." And she did, really. She no longer felt as nauseous as she had been. Every object in the room was satisfyingly stable and intact, not duplicating before her very eyes. She had woken up feeling sickeningly weak but nothing that a good glass of water couldn't fix.

Isane was immovable. "Taichou, you are not getting out of bed until I am a hundred percent certain you are healthy and strong again," she said firmly, reflecting the strictness that Unohana saved for misbehaving patients.

Unohana paused, momentarily taken aback by this sudden change in Isane. She was still reluctant to back down, though.

"Isane, as your captain—"

"Taichou, will all due respect, you are my captain but you are, at present, my patient. You know very well the rules governing inside the walls of Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho. All patients taken under the care of the 4th Division, regardless of stature, rank or position in the Gotei 13, or any other organization or institution, shall receive equal treatment and are required to abide—"

"To abide by the complete and medically sound jurisdiction of their delegated healer," Unohana hastily finished for Isane. "I know, Isane. I made that rule."

"Well, then. That's that," a triumphant, smug Isane said. She began to usher Unohana back to her unmade mat. Her eyes fell on the card that was now lying atop her discarded cotton sheets.

"Oh, that must have come from—"

"Kuchiki-taichou, I know," she said as calmly and casually as she could.

Isane's mouth broke into a conspiratorial grin then softened into a mellow smile. "He was the one who found you, you know." Her face reddened as she recalled what seemed to be an embarrassing moment. "I was barely awake when I felt someone grab my wrist. I was hardly able to recognize that it was Kuchiki-taichou when he flash-stepped out of the meadow—without any sign or warning—dragging me along with him. The next thing I knew, you were there, lying on the ground, bleeding and unconscious," she finished with a shiver. The sight had evidently been unsettling. And rightly so.

No subordinate should ever see their captain broken. It had a demoralizing effect upon them. Captains were untouchable, indestructible beings, the second highest attainable* echelon of power—the first being a member of the Ōzokutokumu*. That symbolic, yet tremendously essential supposition was what kept the Gotei 13, Seireitei and the rest of Soul Society in balance and fully functional. This was the chain and unity of command.

Unohana grew quiet, unsure of the extent of the details of the situation in which Isane had found her. But as far as she could tell, she did not mention anything remotely associated to a glass sword. She noted that Isane was still speaking.

"…quite a fright. So Kuchiki-taichou offered to take you all the way back to Seireitei on his own. The rest—"

"What did you say, Isane?"

"What? Oh, Kuchiki-taichou offered to…"

"No, before that."

"Erm… What did I say again? Oh yeah! Kuchiki-taichou said that if the others were to see you in that state, it'd have given them quite a fright. He saw no need to tell them about your…condition. He said you wouldn't have wanted to scare them with something that might not even be that serious anyway, though it did seem so as the time. He figured you wouldn't have wanted us to act the way Ukitake-taichou's subordinates treat him."

Unohana nodded carefully, comprehending the reasons behind Byakuya's magnanimous gesture. She was extremely grateful that he had the good sense of keeping her sudden bout of illness as clandestine as possible. But there were still gaping holes in the logic.

"But surely the others would have questioned our sudden absences?"

"Oh, yes, they did. Kuchiki-taichou authorized me to inform them that the two of you had been unexpectedly recalled to Seireitei to assist on some unforeseen crisis. He said to make it as vague and ambiguous as I could."

"And they believed that?"

Isane shrugged. "What choice did they have? Besides, we were… I mean, they were too much in high spirits from the lunch Kuchiki-taichou sponsored to conceive of anything pessimistic or problematic about the explanation."

Unohana saw herself being carried atop rooftops by the 6th Division's captain and knew she was blushing furiously. "Do you know if anyone saw Kuchiki-taichou when he brought me here?"

Isane shook her head contemplatively. "As far as I know, only I and Kuchiki-taichou know of your… condition… er… I mean… indisposition." Her brows furrowed as she tried to find a delicate word for her 'illness.' "If someone _had_ seen you, word would have spread out by now. It would have undoubtedly made it in Seireitei Tsūshin*."

She could just imagine the title that would be gracing the front cover. _4th__AND 6TH__DIVISION CAPTAINS FINALLY OFFICIAL?_

She seriously prayed that no one had seen them. She did not wish to face the horrors that would await them if they had been spotted. Besides, Yamamoto would never approve of such tabloid-like material in the Gotei 13's official paper. Or at least she hoped so. She tried to stop thinking about it. She still had questions needing answers.

"And how were you able to explain my three-day disappearance?"

"Well, actually, it is not unusual for Shinigami to withdraw from society for prolonged periods of time. Countless Gotei 13 officers are currently on leave from regular duties on account of Bankai training. Almost every Shinigami training grounds in Seireitei is fully booked for the next six months."

Unohana nodded, taking for granted the fact that everyone else was too busy to question her sudden sabbatical. But she did find it odd that none of her yonbantai officers suspected anything amiss in her absence. After all, if she recalled correctly, which is usually the case, she had not gone on leave in the last four decades.

Isane had already moved on to focus on another matter. "Oh! Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot! Please wait here taichou while I go get you your meal. You haven't eaten for days…" with that she slid back out of her room, the birds and the growing distance drowning out her words. As if Unohana's stomach had ears, it growled angrily in agreement.

She inspected herself. She was wearing a casual, lavender kimono. Even underneath the layers of cloth, she could tell that she had gotten thinner. But thankfully, her Shinigami captain's uniform offered extra bulkiness. If she wore it and covered the right parts, she was confident no one would detect her rapid weight loss. Feeling tired again, though she'd never let Isane know that, she settled back on her mat. Her last thought, however inappropriate it might be, was how it was such a shame that she was unconscious the moment she had the chance to be in Byakuya's arms.

Had it been lovely, having a taste of that forbidden fruit? Would the bittersweet happiness have overcome the intense torment? The pain being that which springs from two irrefutable things: the first being the knowledge that hers is a love that must not exist. And second, the acceptance that that which she yearns for is a love he can never give.

Yet in spite of these, she still wished to know what it had felt like to be in _his_ arms, even under those circumstances, if only just for a while.

Minutes passed, one, five, ten, twenty, when Isane came bustling back carrying a tray laden with nutritious soups and medicinal herbs. But one look at her captain and she knew she had fallen fast asleep. She laid the tray beside the empty glass of water just in case she woke up, which she knew wasn't happening any time soon. Casting one last loving look at the sleeping figure, she left the room with a tender feeling tugging at her heartstrings.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She was in a large room, empty, save for the prone figure on the futon placed in the center of the barrenness. Windows were open on one side, revealing a beautiful garden, magnificent in autumn colors.

"Unohana-san…" a breathy voice called for her.

She stepped nearer to the sickly girl and kneeled beside the mattress. She knew immediately that this was a dream, a memory she had of the rare moments when she and Hisana were alone. Byakuya, she recalled, had been figuratively dragged into a meeting with his elders and advisors whom she knew had not a care for his seriously ill wife. Despite this knowledge, Unohana managed to put on an encouraging smile, without the pity she unmistakably felt for her. They had only been married for five years, a blink of an eye in the face of eternity, for none knew truly how long a Shinigami was capable of living.

"I am here, Hisana-san. How do you feel?"

Instead of answering, Hisana grew thoughtful, her eyes reluctant at first yet becoming increasingly determined. "Byakuya-sama is not here. I am afraid I will never get another chance to speak with you alone," she whispered. "I have a confession to make."

Unohana heard every word, yet did not speak. Did she want to be the burden bearer of the secrets of a dying woman? Before she could answer this herself, Hisana spoke again.

"Do you know of the Western stories that they call fairytales?"

Unohana nodded. The Kuchiki family had an extensive library. She had been constantly invited to peruse its contents. It contained novels, atlases, documents, tablets in every language that had ever been conceived, in both the human and spiritual world.

"Are you familiar, then, with Cinderella?"

Unohana once again nodded, already knowing where Hisana was going yet she couldn't bring herself to break her silence.

"I feel like her, like Cinderella," she said softly, turning her head to stare out at the garden. "Out of all the fairytales, she was the one…I disliked the most."

She paused. Unohana almost thought she would speak no more when she continued. "Of all the princesses, she was not a real one. She had been married to royalty. But it could not hide the fact that her blood was that of a commoner. And nothing, not even Prince Charming's great love, could change that."

She turned and stared at Unohana, her eyes sorrowful with tears. "And what did she leave her sisters in the end? Absolutely nothing. While she herself led a glorious, pampered life."

"Stepsisters," Unohana corrected, finally speaking. "Stepsisters who mistreated her for nearly her entire life."

"It does not matter. It does not change the fact that they were the only relatives she had left. And she forsook them…Just like I did…"

"Hisana-san, Kuchiki-taichou would not want you to be thinking of such…melancholic things," Unohana said, finding the most appropriate word to describe Hisana's dark thoughts.

But Hisana went on as if she did not hear what Unohana said. "The only difference is that Cinderella loved Prince Charming."

Unohana froze, confirming what her heart had already believed to be true.

Had she known at that time that Byakuya had a wife that did not love him? No, but she would not be honest if she said she didn't have her doubts. She had remembered meeting Hisana for the first time. Byakuya had been so happy. Even with the disapproval of all his advisors, there was nothing that could wipe the gentle, loving smile on his face. In those days, his eyes still held warmth which died the day she passed away, or so Unohana believed. But for all the passion she had seen in him, she found it lacking in the petite, raven-haired girl beside him. Instead, she felt a darkness overshadowing her. A sorrow that she couldn't place.

She felt her heart reach out to Byakuya. He had so much potential, so many possibilities that he could take. He had his whole career as a Shinigami ahead of him. It was only a matter of time before he was promoted to captain. He married the woman he loved, vowing to be together till death had them part. Who would have foreseen that death would arrive a little too early.

"I want to love him," Hisana said quickly, afraid of being misunderstood. She felt compassion in the healer that she was confident she would not judge her the way the others had. "He has made me so happy. He has given me everything I have ever wished for. All my childhood dreams, of marrying a handsome price, of living in a mansion, of having enough food on the table, he has fulfilled. But there was never a time when I didn't feel guilty, as if all these blessings, this happiness, was something I cheated my way into getting. I wanted to love him, to give him all of me, because that is everything I have. But even that I could not do."

"Hisana," Unohana interrupted gently. "I am sorry, but you are being silly. There is no reason that you should be feeling this way. You won Byakuya's heart, fair and square. All of these wonderful things, he gives to you as gifts to show his love for you. I have known him since he was a child and I am certain he does not ask for anything in return."

Hisana, instead of being appeased, started to shed even more tears. "I know…He—I am… I don't… understand how he could be so good to me…"

It was unprofessional. Yet Unohana thought it was the right thing to do. So she took Hisana's cold hands into her own, if only to provide her whatever comfort she was able to give. "I know the answer," she told Hisana. "And you know the answer as well." She gave her an encouraging smile.

"Because he loves you."

The two women held each other's hands in silence, becoming lost in their own thoughts. It was Hisana who disrupted the stillness. Taking Unohana by surprise—a mild yet pleasant surprise—Hisana gathered enough strength and sat up. Gently taking her hands out of Unohana's, she wrapped her thin, weak arms around the healer. Unohana, touched by her heartwarming embrace, smiled and hugged back.

Hisana broke their hug and wore the widest, most cheerful smile Unohana had ever seen on her since the day they met.

"Thank you, Unohana-san."

"There is nothing to thank. I had only been telling the truth."

Hisana, if possible, smiled even brighter. She began giggling softly. Unohana, unable to stop herself, started to laugh as well. Pretty soon, the two of them had laughed their hearts out and chased the troublesome shadows away, or at least most of them.

"He will be sad, when my time comes."

Unohana could not avert her eyes from Hisana's wide, purple ones. She hesitatingly nodded. "Yes, he will."

Hisana nodded peacefully, already accepting that there was nothing the healer could do for her broken heart.

"Please take care of him, Unohana-san."

Unohana couldn't help but chuckle at that. "If he lets me, Hisana-san."

Hisana grinned mysteriously, as if there was another secret she had not revealed to her. She had a dreamy look on her face.

"He will."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was a beautiful sword, though he had no doubt it was completely useless in an attack. He gracefully traced the edge with his finger, careful not to cut himself with it. He need not have worried though. His reiatsu was thick enough to avoid such negligible injuries. This led to the frightening deduction that Unohana had really been out of sorts when she cut herself with it. He knew whatever was plaguing her had a connection with this sword. Did she accidentally stumble across it? Or did she seek for it intentionally? Was this the real reason behind her excursion? And if so, was this why she did not want him to come along?

Question after question sprang forth from his mind like pesky mole rats popping up from the ground.

His finger reached the hilt where her family name was carved.

_So many secrets._

It was as if the moment he uncovered a secret, another secret awaited him. Like opening a chest only to find another chest hidden inside.

Byakuya reflexively clenched his jaw as he recalled the sight of her prone figure, smelling of dirt and blood. It had taken him another moment to comprehend the reality that the unconscious woman was Unohana. His Unohana Retsu.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to shake the image away. But the despair and fear remained. Despair from the growing conclusion that he had failed to protect her. Fear from the revelation that she had needed protection to begin with.

Unohana Retsu, his strong foundation, beloved angel and benevolent savior. Loathe was he to admit but she had seemed so broken. It shook his entire being. All his life, he thought she was an immoveable object. Yet here he was, discovering an unstoppable force that could actually _touch_ her. Though what exactly this force was, he had yet to find out.

He found it hard to believe. No, he was not even sure if he had accepted it yet. The truth had lain before his very eyes, in his own arms. She had felt too light, too tiny and insubstantial, not like the solidity he had expected. Like a broken-winged little bird one instinctively feels the strong need to protect. But what his eyes had seen, his heart could not understand.

So he took her injured state upon himself. If he had watched her more closely, made sure she had eaten enough, had slept well enough, had… She had always taken care of him. And when she needed him the most, he could not return the favor.

Kuchiki Byakuya was _not_ a person who wallows in self-pity. But he was dangerously close to.

Fortune had given him another second chance. First, with Rukia. Then, with himself. Now, with Retsu. He was not going back through all that. He was not going to risk losing his loved ones anymore. And to seal his newfound resolution, he made a vow. Taking out a blank piece of paper, a brush and a jar of ink, he wrote his promise.

_I, Kuchiki Byakuya, 28th__head of the Kuchiki clan and captain of the 6th__Division of the Gotei 13, swear to protect…_

Those that he loved? Or should he write their names to be specific? He deliberated for a while before he continued.

…_to protect my sister, Kuchiki Rukia, and my…_

What was Unohana to him? Mother figure sounded a bit too cumbersome.

…_my dearest friend, Unohana Retsu, at all costs, be it small or great, material or immaterial, from all harm, be it trivial or grave, to the best of my ability._

He stared at the words and watched the ink slowly dry. Was it ill-advised of him to make such a hasty promise? Especially after the clashing of the first two vows he had made? And the fact that an occupational hazard naturally comes with being a Shinigami?

Perhaps it was. But he was a man of ceremonies and formalities. Creating a vow was how he felt like he had a purpose again. It was how he had survived after his wife's death.

Moreover, the vow has been made, and there was no turning back now. He admitted that his promise made him feel a little bit better knowing he was going to make it up to Unohana and Rukia. If he would be completely honest, the vow was for Rukia and Retsu as much as it was for himself.

Speaking of one of said women, a soft knock came from outside.

"Nii-sama," a deep, almost masculine voice suddenly spoke behind the shōji doors of his study. He could make out a tiny shadow from the figure outside, cast by the diminishing day light.

In a blink of an eye, he had managed to flash-step to the far corner of the room, hide the glass sword and written piece of paper in a secret compartment beneath the wooden floor panels, and flash-step back behind his desk again.

The shōji doors revealed a small, dark-haired girl. The blow from how closely she resembled his late wife never lessened, even after almost half a century had passed.

Behind her, the hallway overlooked one of the many enclosed gardens that had been built inside the mansion. A manmade fountain was gurgling merrily under the fading light of the overhead sky. The two Kuchiki's were home earlier than usual that day, on account of the Soutaichou's decree that the Gotei 13 have a half-day to give everyone a small break from their intense training.

"A letter had arrived for you earlier today," Rukia said, holding out a small white envelope with both hands. "It bears the insignia of the 4th Division."

She passed the letter to Byakuya. He inspected it quickly. True enough, there was a printed bellflower on the corner of the envelope.

Byakuya turned to her adoptive sister who was eagerly waiting for his instructions. Unohana's words suddenly rang in his mind. What were they exactly? Be nicer, was it?

He mentally scoffed at such a common, seemingly frivolous and obsequious word.

But… he promised he would protect her, even if it was from his hostility.

He swallowed his pride.

"Thank you, Rukia. You may go."

Maybe he should have given more thought before he had made that vow.

Despite his rising misgivings, his efforts had not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. Rukia practically glowed with overflowing joy as she heard his words. She bowed and smiled so brilliantly, it was almost ridiculous. Byakuya, though he didn't show it outright, really wasn't comfortable with emotional gestures.

Rukia was still smiling. "Nii-sama, if there is anything else you need, I'll be with you right away." With that, she left his study with a noticeable spring in her step.

Hmm… He supposed he could get used to this. He would start with small changes with his behavior. Make short term goals. Heavens knew Rukia deserved it, after everything he did to her. And Retsu deserved it, after everything she did for him.

It was ironic. He had never been a human, unlike most of the others. He was born in Soul Society, raised to take after all the other heads of the Kuchiki clan, to take a seat in the 6th Division of the Gotei 13. His elders claimed he was the most powerful Shinigami that had ever been born into the Kuchiki family in at least nine of the last generations. Yet for all the greatness he had achieved of being a Shinigami, he still felt twinges of what they call _humanity_every now and again.

Love, companionship, and friendship, they were of no use to a Shinigami. They were only troublesome emotions. That was what the Academy* had tried to ingrain in their hearts. But humanity was like a stubborn plant with deep roots embedded in all souls. One cannot exterminate it completely.

He opened the letter in his hand.

_Kuchiki-taichou,_

_I am pleased to report that Unohana-taichou had awakened and is swiftly recovering her strength, though she has currently gone back to sleep. As you have requested, no one else is aware of her condition and no one has questioned her whereabouts as of the present. I can also tell that she still has a lot of questions, which I cannot answer. If I may say so, she seeks for answers that only you, Kuchiki-taichou, are able to provide._

_Kotetsu Isane, yonbantai-fukutaichou_

_P.S. If I am not mistaken, she will not wake until after 7 p.m._

After reading it once, he crumpled it and threw it on the bed of coal under the clay pot of burning incense beside his desk. He then opened his leftmost drawer and took out a Chappy the Rabbit watch that Rukia had given him as a gift for his brthday.

He still had 2 hours to spare. More than enough time to go and have dinner.

Gin had told him about a Chinese restaurant near the 3rd Division Headquarters. Traitor though he was, Byakuya could not deny that he had good taste in food. He wondered if Rukia was hungry for some stir-fried noodles.

*Pulsatile Tinnitus- definition from Wikipedia

*Ōzokutokumu- King Subordinate Secret Service, also known as the Zero Division or Royal Guard.

*Seireitei Tsūshin- Seireitei Communication, a magazine published monthly and distributed in Soul Society, c/o the 9th division.

*Shinōreijutsuin- The Spiritual Arts Academy, founded by Genryūsai Yamamoto

Up next: Unohana Retsu has made a decision. This is the turning point. It may be a happy one, or maybe it is a sad one. But one thing's for sure, it ends in tears.

Please review!

P.S. I should probably apologize in advance. School's coming up and it's going to take me longer to update. So I'm sorry in advance...


	12. Chapter 11

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 11

He found her sitting at her usual spot on her quarter's balcony. There was a stout, little tea pot steaming on top of a lace doily beside her. A matching tiny cup was cradled in her hands.

"You were expecting me," Byakuya stated, observing another cup, empty, sitting beside the pot.

Unohana merely tilted her head and smiled at him. Byakuya felt his mouth twitch and he almost smiled back. But he managed to stop himself just in time. He perceived an unusual amount of indifference in her that night. He examined her further under half-lidded eyes.

She seemed tremendously better than she was the last time he saw her. (Of course, the last time he saw her, she was out cold.) But she was still alarmingly thinner than she should be. His gaze went up from her bonier neckline to the sharper line of her jaw till his eyes met hers. He realized she had been watching him all along with cool blue eyes.

"Good evening, Kuchiki-taichou. Isane told me you might be coming. But I'm afraid visiting hours are over."

"Yet you left your door unlocked. If you were enforcing that rule, you would have sent Isane, instead of telling me this yourself."

"It would not make sense to send Isane, considering she was the one who informed you that I had woken up."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. _How did she guess?_

Unohana shrugged, as if she read his mind. "She's my lieutenant. It's not hard for me to read her."

Still not conceding, he pointed to the empty cup beside the pot of tea. "And you were planning to let me have some tea first," he said drily.

She grinned. "And what if I am?"

This time, he did smile. Not the smile that sent his lieutenant Abarai and all the other 6th Division members running in fear, but the smile he reserved only for a selected few. Without waiting for her instructions, he took a seat next to her. He felt her stiffen for the briefest moment before she relaxed and smiled.

"I should thank you, Kuchiki-taichou," she started to say, pouring him a cup of hot tea.

He stiffened at her calling him by his formal title, especially here in such an informal setting. But Unohana continued preparing his tea, ignoring his slight frown. If he deduced correctly, it was white peony, her favorite.

"It was extremely kind of you to offer to take me all the way back to—"

"There is no need to thank me," he said firmly, touching her hand.

For a split second, he saw her drop the cup she was handing him. But he blinked and it was now there in his hands. It must have been a trick of the lights, he thought at first, until he saw her trembling fingers before she quickly hid them inside the sleeves of her simple kimono. _Very peculiar. _

_She is waiting for me to mention the glass sword._

"Nonetheless, I still wish to express my gratitude at the amount of discretion you placed in dealing with my… unfortunate indisposition."

He nodded. "Do not again be so foolish as to forget to care for your needs. Even you have your limits."

She quickly looked away, and Byakuya caught her wince. Maybe he had been too severe. He didn't mean to scold her. Could she not see the concern behind his harsh words? He decided to try again.

"I hope you are now eating properly," he said carefully. Unohana glanced back at him, her expression guarded yet curious. "You have become too thin."

Unohana gave him a sheepish look. "Yes, I knew you would notice right away."

She took the sleeve of her kimono and his breath caught as she slowly pulled it back. His hand automatically caught her wrist and stopped her from revealing more and more of the smooth, white skin he knew she possessed. But she only gave him an amused look before she proceeded pulling her sleeve further back. He was surprised at the disappointment he felt when she revealed only another kimono underneath.

"But I still wore extra clothes in the hopes that you wouldn't," she finished with a slight laugh.

He mentally shook his head. What did he expect? Unohana was a dignified woman. He could not imagine her doing anything inappropriate. He felt sacrilegious just thinking of her that way.

_What way, exactly?_

"Is the tea too hot? You're face is heating up," she frowned, reaching to touch his forehead with the back of her hand. With a slight turn of his head, he avoided contact with her hand.

"It is fine."

Unohana gave him a penetrating look, before going back to her tea. Byakuya, seeing he was saved from her further scrutiny, felt it safe to proceed inspecting her health. The shadows under her eyes were now gone, replaced by youthful, firm skin. Contemplating her appearance, it was so easy to forget that she was very much older than him.

"You slept well?"

She frowned, unexpectedly, and looked away once again. She gave a noncommittal shrug. "I did not have the best of dreams. But yes, I have slept for the longest time I have in the last three weeks."

_She still has nightmares._

Knitting his brow in frustration, he felt at a loss. How in kami's name was he supposed to protect her if he can't shield her from her nightmares? How could he take care of her without breaching the safety lines that had continuously bound their platonic relationship? He certainly could not stay by her side and hold her after every bad dream.

Absolutely not. It was completely unthinkable. People would talk. Bad things.

They were close, but not that way. He wondered for a moment what it would be like if he had not grown up seeing her as a mother.

He stared at her and tried to see her in the eyes of someone else, someone who did not know of her status, rank, or age, someone who saw her for who she was at this moment.

No, he could not do it.

Maybe he did not even try.

Unohana Retsu would not be Unohana if he took out all her accomplishments, her rank, and, yes, even her age. She had saved countless of lives, fought so many unknown battles, and cared for so many souls. It all added up to who she was, the mother he never had but had always loved. But as her secrets grew ever darker and as her recent illness proved her vulnerability, he was beginning to think that the person he loved might not be exactly whom he thought he knew.

What would he do if he suddenly discovered something she did that was so unlike the Unohana he knew? Would he begin to see her differently? What would he do if he uncovered the real woman behind the carefully formed smile and meticulously neat braid? Would he finally meet the Retsu she so vigilantly kept hidden from the rest of the world? Would he love Retsu the same way he loved Unohana?

And when he did see the real Retsu, stripped off her rank, age and status, would he see her again as the only woman he would ever marry, like he did when he was a young boy, harassed by his counselors to choose a noble wife?*

That was before he had met Hisana, and before he had truly understood the bridge between their ages.

Here he was again, asking more and more questions that he, alone, could not provide answers. Not to mention they were worthless questions, as if the answers would change anything. If indeed, his love for her changes, would she suddenly accept his love and come riding with him into the sunset?

_Of_ _course_ _not_.

She would not only be avoiding him. She'd disappear from his life. Forever

Eyeing her graceful form peacefully sipping her tea, he randomly wondered if she knew just how beautiful she was.

"You're wearing your braid in front tonight."

Unohana stared back at him, nonplussed.

"You have always tied your hair at the back when you're at home, after office hours."

He could sense her deliberating if he was being serious. "Well, I wanted to tie my hair this way…"

"That is the truth?"

"I…"

"Remember your promise, Unohana-taichou." Even though he could not see it, he knew she was now clenching her fists inside her kimono's sleeves. "Do you wear that as a front? A mask from which you hide behind?" he asked softly, yet his words were clear.

A pause.

Then Unohana bravely locked her eyes on his and he knew he was right. She slowly reached for the ribbon that held her braid in place and ripped it off without hesitation. Her long black hair fell beautifully behind her straight back. She always did have good posture.

"The mask is off," she said, her voice quiet but no less defiant. "You said I was hiding something, yes? Well, did you find it?"

Byakuya frowned, feeling a bit regretful that she found him more antagonizing than concerned. His intentions of coming across as caring and compassionate had evidently missed its mark.

"You don't have to hide from me," he said sincerely.

Unohana shook her head sadly. "I…"

"Nor do you need to explain anything to me." He thought it was the right moment to reveal the glass sword that was previously hidden beneath his captain haori and tied to his belt. Byakuya did not fail to hear the slight gasp Unohana elicited as he laid the sword before her. She shivered uncharacteristically as his hand slightly brushed her knee. He drew his hand away quickly for fear of making her even more uncomfortable than she already was.

Unohana visibly swallowed and nodded. She closed her eyes tightly and Byakuya could tell she was waiting for her voice to come back. Focusing his eyes on his tea, he waited patiently. He was not in any kind of rush. After all, she was about to unearth a secret possibly more than a thousand years old. What could a couple more minutes do?

They stayed that way, silent, consumed in their own thoughts. But as the minutes passed, it seemed that Unohana retreated more and more inside her mind. Byakuya felt the irrational need to reach out and just hold her. He wanted her to trust him the way he fully trusted her. How could he convince her that he would be there for her as she had always been there for him? He was resolute enough to write an oath to protect her. Should he confess this recent vow to her? No, she might take it as an insult that he thought she even needed his protection.

'But she had,' said an awfully familiar voice.

_What do you think you're doing… Senbonzakura._

'Forgive me, master. I only wished to lighten your current disposition.'

…

'You were brooding.'

…

'I can talk to Minazuki, if you so wish, master.'

_For what purpose would I want you to talk to Unohana-taichou's sword?_

'…well, Unohana-taichou and her sword have always been close. Maybe she can provide the answers to the questions you repetitively ask yourself.'

Byakuya did not know whether to be touched by his soul sword's attempt to give him some peace of mind or to admonish him for meddling in his personal affairs. A simple "know your place" was on the tip of his tongue, but the idea of getting solid answers and finally knowing what Unohana needed the most from him was tempting. But no, there was no way he could expect Minazuki _not _to report back to her master.

'It looks like there is no longer any need. She is ready to speak—'

_Senbonzakura._

'Yes, master.'

_Be silent._

He no longer heard what Senbonzakura replied because Unohana had at the moment turned to look at him with determined eyes. He could almost see her square her shoulders and ever so slightly lift up her chin. He felt admiration for the courage she possessed to face her worst fears. But before she could say anything, he beat her to it.

"Unohana-taichou. I had hoped not to repeat myself. Whatever you have to say—"

"I do not need to explain to you. Yes, I remember perfectly," she tried to smile but it did not reach her eyes.

Byakuya nodded, willing her to continue. He would offer no interruptions as soon as she started.

"Before I… go on, there is something I need to ask of you, Byakuya…sama."

"Don't."

"Pardon?

"Don't… call me that."

"But… it is only appropriate—"

"No. Call me as you always have."

Instead of being touched that he was allowing her to use his name informally, she actually looked pained.

"Kuchiki-taichou, then—"

"Not that."

The two of them glared at each other, willing the other to back down.

"Maybe I would, if you have said it a little more nicely."

He merely intensified his glare.

She breathed deeply. "All right then, _Byakuya_. It's not like it's going to matter anymore…" she muttered a few more words that he didn't catch.

He furrowed his brow. Why wouldn't it matter anymore?

"So as I was saying,_… _I have a… favor to ask of you…"

Raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow, he stared at her thoughtfully. "Is this… favor… what you want?"

Unohana looked surprised at his question. "What I… want?_" _He could sense her begin to break eye contact.

"Look at me, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana reluctantly did as she was told. Dark blue eyes met silver gray.

"I would hate to repeat myself, Unohana-taichou."

By the faint blush rising from her neck, he could tell he had asked the right question. "No, it is not."

"Then it is perfectly clear. My answer is no."

"Oh, come on Byakuya, that is not fair."

"Why would you ask me to do something you do not even want?"

"What I want is different from what I need," she nearly cried out loud.

"Then tell me, what it is you need," Byakuya said somewhat apprehensively. Could it be that she would simply tell him the answer to the question he had almost sent Senbonzakura to find out?

When she did not answer, he immediately understood.

"You want my word first."

She nodded guiltily.

He frowned at her. What game could she be playing? "Is this the price you are asking for an explanation for this?" He gestured towards the glass sword, lying quietly between them.

Vigorously shaking her head, she said, "They are completely irrelevant things. This is something I would have asked you, regardless of whether I told you why my… name is on the hilt of that sword or not."

He was starting to hate that sword. It was groundless, but he felt as if all their troubles came from it. Or at least, that was what he wanted to believe. But he was not blind. When Unohana started becoming more distant, he immediately saw it. She would avoid his gaze, and she tensed a little every time he touched her. But now, with this sword business, it became even more impossible to break through to her. It was as if his presence now caused her genuine pain.

Was it truly him who had hurt her? Was it something he did? She already swore to him that it wasn't his mistreatment of his sister. Then was it something he said? He honestly did not know. He could not think of any other deed he had done that could have given her this much grief and discomfort.

"You accused me of being unfair. And what would you call this which you are asking of me? What ensnarement have you prepared for me?"

"I would never do anything to harm you," she said in a hurried tone. "What I am going to ask you is something that would be beneficial for you as well!"

"Perhaps so. But is it something that I would want?"

"Well, initially, no, you would not," she started to say. He was about to insert another dry comment but she rushed to continue. "But essentially, in the long run, I mean, I am confident that you'll thank me for it."

He still was not convinced. How could she ask him to make a promise which he didn't even know what it was about? Byakuya conceded that maybe, yes, it was something that she _could_ make him do. But he would never have thought that she _would _actually do it.

"You don't have to answer me right away," she told him quietly. "The night is young, and I still have a lot to tell you."

He nodded, a part of him still disbelieving that she really was about to tell him her secret. "You are sure of this?"

Unohana clenched her jaw and nodded back firmly. "Yes, I am."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_I remember my family. _

_My mother had come from one of the lesser noble families. Of which family, I can no longer remember. Maybe she had even been part of the greater noble families. Who can say? She never spoke about her past with us. How I discovered she was not a common person? I am not sure. I can only recall her natural gentility and her metal treasure box filled with beautiful jewelry. She had taught me the names of each precious jewel inside and I would recite them all by heart._

_My father was a wealthy merchant. He was a good looking man. But he was of no noble birth. I do not know how my father had come to marry my mother. When I'd ask, he would only give me a sweet, sad smile and I would become aware of this terrible sorrow hanging above us, like an executioner's axe. I would always lose the heart to wait for his answer. _

_I did not doubt that my mother had loved my father and that he loved her in return. But how their paths had come across remains a mystery to me, even to this day. _

_I had a sister once. Yes, I was not an only child. Her name was Mayumi. _

_Back then, I was known by another name. Miwa._

_Miwa and Mayumi. Peace and gentleness. They were such beautiful names. If only they had any influence to our personalities. _

_You see, my sister and I, we were… we never got along. Since we were small, I had always been greater and better at everything, be it age, sports, height, skin, intellect, art, music, or the number of suitors each of us had. And I _always_ went out of my way to make sure she was aware of it. _

_She hated me for it. _

_But what really got her in a temper was the immense difference between our reiryoku._

_We were always having this contest on who can create the biggest, brightest ball of spiritual power. I remember the two of us hiding behind the store room, between the towering stacks of wooden crates and the dusty rolls of carpets. She would muster up all the strength in her body, huffing and puffing, becoming red in the face, just to create this tiny little blue orb, while I would just cup my hand and a glowing white sphere would appear in an instant without the least bit effort on my part. Then she'd stomp her little white feet and not speak to me for days._

_The only competition she ever won was our parents' love. She was their beautiful pearl, the apple of their eyes, the baby who never grew up in their eyes._

_And I hated her for it._

_My parents knew about our bitter sibling rivalry. But they attributed it as normal sisterly affection. Neither of them expected it'd be the ruin of our family._

_So they ignored our repeated spats and petty contests. _

_When my sister and I reached the proper marriageable age, we attracted quite a handful of suitors. Our father, as I said, was a rich man who could provide a handsome dowry. My sister and I were deemed very beautiful at that time. Even though we were always at odds with each other, we looked disconcertingly so much alike. We both had midnight black hair, dark blue eyes and pale skin. But always, it would seem that my hair was just a tiny bit shinier, my eyes a little bit lovelier, and my skin slightly whiter. _

_Among the suitors was a man with a kind, somber face. He was the son of a well-known glassblower in District 1, where we lived. Unfortunately, in his youth, he was known for having an incredibly bad temper and terrifying fits of rage. But he said he had gone away on a spiritual journey and come back with a peaceful heart._

_So this man whose name I will not utter till the sun dies out and the moon goes dark… this man… he was a skilled glassblower like his father. He made my family a beautiful glass sword with our name delicately crafted into the hilt. My family instantly fell in love with it, even Mayumi. But as soon as she found out he had asked for _my _hand, not hers, she grew resentful. _

_I saw her envy. So I entertained this man out of spite. I do not know what she saw in him that she didn't with all the other suitors. Was it this accursed glass sword? I never got to know. But I felt triumphant, being the center of this man's attention, which my sister so evidently craved. And even if I was not my parents' favorite child, maybe he was enough._

_But I was a precocious girl and especially ambitious. I was growing more and more restless as the future of a glassblower's wife came nearer and nearer. I had dreams of glory, of great honor, of things that I could not possibly achieve by becoming the docile wife of a reformed man._

_So I broke off our engagement._

_Neither of my parents expected what happened after that. Maybe I had seen it coming but failed to imagine the gravity of its consequences._

_My sister… Mayumi, she… she ran away with this man. They took the glass sword with them. My parents were devastated._

_At first, I rejoiced at this. Without my sister hogging the affections of my father and mother, I would have them all to myself. But it was not so. Their love for my sister expounded ten times greater with her absence than when she had been present. _

_Then I thought, maybe they would forget her as time passed. Again, I was wrong. My father did everything he could, hired messengers, bounty hunters. But each one would end in a mysterious death or were never to be seen again. _

_Maybe it was a day, a week, a year, or a century after my sister ran away when my mother died. My father fell ill soon after and I knew his time was near. _

_I sought the help of another suitor, an expert hunter, famous for his tracking skills. He was an arrogant young man, and I would not have come to him if I had not badly needed his help. So we went deeper into West Rukongai, travelling through the districts and the dirty shanties, looking for a man with a woman who looked like me._

_After what felt like an eternity, we found a merchant who was offered to buy a fine, glass sword in the 17__th__ District. It wasn't long before we uncovered their hiding place, an underground cave beneath an enormous tree._

_It seemed as if we caught them at a rough time. They had been arguing outside of the cavern, looking unbelievably dirty and hungry. I did not see if it was he who shoved her or if it was she who slapped him first. But it ended with him beating up my sister who could only whimper at the sound of her ribs breaking. _

_After that, my memory turns hazy and the details become a mess of burning red hot fury. It was as if I had started to glow, like a piece of metal in a blacksmith's forge. _

_Burning. _

_I remember everywhere, there was burning, people screaming in sheer agony, objects turning into ash. A brilliant white light filled my vision and in three heartbeats, it was gone, replaced by unfathomable darkness._

_The next thing I saw was a smiling woman in Shinigami uniform. You see, even then, it was not uncommon for Shinigami to train in the vast forests of West Rukongai. _

_Her name was Captain Kirio Hikifune. _

_She had been a captain in the 12__th__ Division in the Gotei 13, even before you had joined in, before she had been promoted to be part of the Royal Guards. She happened to be nearby, probably looking for some plants she was researching on, when she heard an explosion of immense spiritual power. She came and saw me, lying in the center of a charred patch of land. The giant tree was singed to a dark black color._

_I asked her where the others were, where my sister was. She merely gave me a solemn smile and laid a warm hand on my head. She proceeded to this burnt tree and lifted her hands to it. That was the first time I had witnessed a healing spell. The tree reverted back to its normal color and the land surrounding us turned green again. _

_Again, I asked her what happened to my sister._

_She finally turned to me with sadness in her eyes. "What is your name?"_

_I answered, "Miwa. Why?"_

"_Because I'm afraid that you did all that, Miwa," she waved her arms over the previously black circle of land._

"_You mean… Mayumi… the others… my sister… they're…?"_

_She nodded gravely. I screamed, yelled, cursed. It was as if I had gone mad. I demanded that she bring them back. If she could heal plants, surely, she could save souls. But she shook her head, saying their ashes had now gone with the wind._

_She gently held me as I cried into her shoulder. The truth crashed down upon me with hideous clarity. I was a murderer. I had killed three people without even meaning to: the glassblower who assaulted my sister, the hunter who only wanted to help me, and my sister who hated me all her life._

_I wanted to kill myself._

_Hikifune-taichou had eyes like a hawk. She watched me, as if she had already known my intentions of ending my life, of ending the torment and guilt weighing down upon me like a thousand pound anvil. So she came with me back to my father's house, but we never saw him. He had died right after I went searching for Mayumi. _

_I had never felt so alone._

_But Hikifune-taichou, with her boundless love and caring heart, took me in as her own daughter. That very day, I went with her to Seireitei where she enrolled me to become a Shinigami, where she promised I could learn how to control my powers. She promised me that, here, I would become strong, strong enough not to hurt another soul._

_My only request was that I would no longer be called Miwa. I was not 'peace'. _

_Since that day, I was called by a new name. A name I chose for myself._

_Retsu. _

_For 'violence'._

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The tea had now gone cold.

Unohana was glaring at the no longer warm tea cup in her hands. Her throat had gone dry after her long narrative. On a split second decision, she gulped down the cold tea and grimaced, disgusted. But drinking was better than not drinking, so holding her breath, she finished the remaining contents.

Casting a sly glance at her companion, she noted that he was still deep in contemplation.

She was surprisingly not as anxious as she had expected herself to be, waiting for Byakuya's reaction. After all, as the saying went, the cat was out of the bag. She felt an odd sense of relief, letting it all out. It had been stewing up inside of her for centuries and it felt good to finally release a little bit of steam.

He was still pensive. He had been… expectedly calm throughout her tale. She could not decide if this was a good thing or not. He had not interrupted her since she started, only leaning in occasionally to hold her hand and reassure her. This Unohana almost did not mind if it had not been distracting her from the importance and seriousness of her current task at hand. She had to continue with her story while trying to think of an excuse to pull her hand away.

Unohana sighed inaudibly. She was hopeless. Her eye caught the sword as the moonlight glinted off its surface. If only it had never been created…

But if it never had, she might not have become the Shinigami she was today. She might not have wanted to become a healer. She might still have her family. She might still have a sister.

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt as Byakuya, without a word, lifted the glass sword with his right hand. She almost didn't catch the slight movement he did with his fingers. Instantaneously, there was an audible noise and cracks snaked through the sword. For just another second, the sword held in place before completely disintegrating before her.

She looked at him expectantly. Sure enough, he spoke for the first time again. "Unohana-taichou… Retsu…"

She breathed in sharply as he said her name so familiarly. Ought she scold him? Would it even matter after that night?

"You need not have told me this."

Confused, she frowned at him. "What?"

"The truth that you had accidentally killed those people does not change the fact that you are still the greatest, kindest healer in Seireitei history."

She stared at him in disbelief. "You mean to say, in spite of everything I have just told you, you still see me the same way?"

"Of course not," he replied without hesitation.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "Loving someone does not only mean accepting that person for who that person truly is. If you did something unexpected, be it in the past, the present or the future, it may change you in some way, yes, but you can't erase the fact the it is still _you. _

"People _change. _So when you love someone, you love them even if they don't remain the way they did when you first loved them."

She could not help it, really, that she was now gawking at him. _This _was coming from _Byakuya?_

"You are still Unohana Retsu. I may see you differently now, but you are the same. The same person whom I love."

Unohana shook her head. Why was he saying this? Why was he showing her his emotions? Why now when she was about to do something awful to him? "Byakuya, please, that has got to stop—"

"I fail to see the wrong in it," he frowned, unaware of the inner turmoil inside Unohana's bruised heart.

"It's not appropriate…"

"You have never chastised me before."

"That was before! This is now and… Byakuya, think of the consequences if someone had overheard—"

"You have never been bothered by what the others thought about you and I."

"I…" she faltered, frustrated she was on the losing end.

"What is it that has made you think differently now?" he asked with honest curiosity.

"You and I…" she repeated his words with a sinking feeling. "What are we really?"

Even this gave Byakuya a pause. He answered cautiously. "What we have always been."

"Things change, Byakuya. As you said, people change…" she made it a point to look anywhere but at him.

"There is something else you are not telling me, then," he concluded, his voice sounding almost hurt by the implications of her words.

"What are you talking about? I have told you everything I could about my past…"

"But not about the present. You still have not given me the reason why you started avoiding me after the Ryoka invasion and Aizen's betrayal."

"I… I can't." Her throat tightens and she could feel her tears threatening to spill.

"After telling me your past and hearing me say to you that it does not change a thing about... what I feel, you still can not trust me?" he asked ever so softly, but his pain resonated loud and clear.

"Please, no Byakuya, it's not that!" she cried, getting on her knees and clutching his hands with her trembling ones. "It is… myself that I do not trust. That is why I am asking you a crucial favor."

On her knees, she was now at the same height as he was seated down. She looked pleadingly into his cold, gray eyes. Everything seemed to run slow as the seconds ticked by. But finally, she saw his icy demeanor melt and she knew she had won.

"If this is what you need, I will do it."

Without thinking, she had wrapped her arms around Byakuya in a tight embrace. She couldn't remember the last time she had done so. It felt so long ago. She was glad she was able to do it again because she knew it was going to be her last. She felt relieved, knowing that he had finally agreed, but also disappointed, knowing he was not going to turn back on his word.

Smiling as she felt his arms hold her in place, she was amazed at how tiny she seemed in his arms.

_So this was what it felt like that day._

If only the moment could last forever. She fit into his arms so perfectly it was almost heartbreaking. She heard him inhale her scent and she remembered that he used to love doing that when he was a child.

That instantly broke the spell.

She forcefully broke out of the hug and she tried to ignore the hurt and confusion evident in his eyes. But it was instantly gone, replaced by detached acceptance of the inevitable.

"We can no longer see each other like this, Byakuya," she said, hardening her resolve. It was too late to turn back now that he had agreed.

Byakuya's cool gaze never left her.

She took a deep breath. She wanted to say he shouldn't take it personally, but she didn't think he'd believe her.

"From now on, you have to _leave me alone_."

_End of Chapter_

Notes:

*The idea of Byakuya wanting to marry Unohana was something I read from Night Strider's "Vanquished." It's a beautiful one-shot, I strongly recommend it, though it is not a happy-ending kind of story.

*Mayumi-true gentle beauty

*Miwa-peace

*Retsu-violence (surprised? well, i certainly was)

Please r e v i e w!


	13. Chapter 12

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 12

Unohana walked down the wooden bridge leading to the simple bungalow in the middle of the pond. She really didn't understand why Ukitake chose to live in such a small house when he had a whole mansion handed down to him by his heritage. But he probably didn't want to live in such a large house alone. After all, as far she knew, he neither had parents nor siblings anymore. And he wasn't planning on having a family any time soon.

Yes, it must be lonely to live all alone in a huge mansion, filled with empty spaces, the overwhelming silence, and the absence of warmth and sound from loved ones.

She couldn't really help it when her mind drifted over to _him _as she thought of nobles with too large houses.

_At least he had Rukia_, she thought sadly. If only they could be together, if they had a chance at love. Then she'd fill his manor with joy, laughter and, if it was possible, with children. She'd turn his house into a home. But that obviously didn't—_couldn't _happen. She had only herself to thank for that.

It had been months now since they had last seen each other privately. Even on the streets, she had not caught sight of his fair face. The only times they were placed in the same room was during the now bi-weekly captains' meetings. And even then, he refused to look in her direction. Not that she had expected him to. But it still hurt knowing that she had asked for this.

Even worse, the feeling that wracked her heart at the mere sight of him had not diminished. No, it had only intensified due to his absence.

But even during the meetings, her desire to be with him could not be satisfied and it still left her hollow inside. She cannot describe the unbearable ache that seizes her, to have him stand so near, yet feel his heart so far away. Every time, she had to hide her clenched fists under the sleeves of her coat, in case anyone should question why she was so tense. Every time, she was battling her innermost desires, to keep her from touching him and closing the distance between them.

But her mind always won, although the victories tasted dark and bitter.

"_If this is what you need, I will do it." _

That was what he said.

His words were forever haunting her dreams. And that last hurt look on his face the moment she pulled away from his embrace… These were the memories that taunted her every night, though she knew she didn't have the heart to forget. After all, was it really a sin to love in dreams and memories?

"_If this is what you need…"_

Well, was it what she needed?

Maybe she was mistaken and it was the exact opposite of what she really needed to do: face the truth and not run from it. Then all the pain she had brought upon them both would be for nothing.

It killed her to admit it, but, for all her accomplishments at being a highly revered captain, she was truly a coward.

They say men are afraid of what they do not understand. Then what do women fear most? Was it also the unfamiliar? What made people choose a life of solitude and regret over a life of love and affection? Even the most practical and rational would prefer the latter. For what person in his or her right mind wants to be unhappy? Would wish sorrow over joy?

Costs over benefits.

If that were true, then what was causing this misery? What made her decide this fate for herself? Was it even hers to determine? What was she really was afraid of? Rejection? Hurt? The unknown? The millions of possibilities that a confession could lead to?

Or perhaps the shame?

And therein lay the heart of the problem.

Why did love instill in her this much disgrace? Storybook romances were all about standing up and fighting for true love. They wrote about light and freedom and truth. Was there ever a book on how to conceal love? If so, then those unfortunate characters lived sad lives, forever pining for what they dared not have, dying alone and unloved.

_Costs over benefits._

But no, she will not think of it now, nor ever. She chose this path. She had to bear it. She would not risk ending their separation now, no matter the difficulties she faced every day and the demons she faced every night. For as far as she could see, her unwarranted feelings were not easing up any time in the near future.

She gave out a sorrow-filled little sigh as she finally reached Ukitake's abode.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The check-up went swiftly and smoothly. Captain Ukitake appeared to be strong and healthy, although one can never tell when his illness will attack. But Unohana made it a point to always check on him in case he was pushing himself too hard. Also, he was pleasant, and she enjoyed his company. It took her mind off a certain raven-haired noble, at least for a little while.

She stood by a wooden table, packing up her medical equipment and medical files, while the white-haired captain sat pensively on the floor, admiring the view of his pond outside.

"How are things in your division?" she asked, making polite conversation.

Ukitake gave a deep sigh, but smiled charmingly anyway. "Training has been tough, but thank you for asking, Unohana-senpai. I'm afraid I hadn't been to the actual sessions myself as often as I would have liked. But my lieutenants keep insisting I rest and let them handle it."

Retsu laughed, knowing how ridiculously protective Kiyone and Sentarō could be about their beloved captain.

"Rukia's been assigned for human world guard duty again."

Retsu's face grew serious with that knowledge as she sat down next to him. "To observe the boy, you mean?"

Ukitake nodded gravely. "I do not question his motives when he trespassed into Soul Society to save Rukia. But there is something dark about him, a shadow in his mind that makes me uneasy."

Retsu nodded. She had felt it, too.

"Byakuya knows. He has seen it."

She turned her head sharply at his words. "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously as she now did every time he came into the conversation.

"I don't know exactly what he saw," he continued with carefully crafted words. "I presume Rukia is the only one whom he has told, and I barely managed to get this out of her. But during his fight with the orange-haired Ryoka, something… came over the boy just when he was about to die… It was as if he had turned into whole different person, with a different power, dark and foreign." He turned and stared at her with eyes in a brilliant shade of green. She wondered if it was meant as a dramatic effect, consciously remembering how mesmerizing Ukitake could be. "That was why Byakuya had lost."

Retsu stared off into the horizon, breaking contact with those entrancing eyes, lost in her thoughts. "I always did wonder why he had been defeated… The boy had monstrous reiatsu, but I doubt he had enough skill," she said after some time. What was bothering her, though, was why _he_ had not told this to her. He never kept secrets from her. Why would he have kept this? Then Retsu remembered that she hadn't really given him a chance to tell her after that battle on Sōkyoku Hill. "How did Rukia take it?"

"She accepted her task. It is her duty. She is a member of the Gotei 13 first and foremost. She knows what would happen if she started making friends with the humans."

"So you disapprove of her friendship with this boy and his friends?" she asked mildly, but Ukitake perceived the not-so-hidden reproach in her voice.

"Ah, no, no. I'm saying it can lead to possible situations that might put her in a compromising position in the future. Although, this time around, she was no longer as reluctant to go back to Karakura Town as when she was first sent there—eager almost. The surprising opposition came from her brother."

Retsu's dark blue eyes widened. Did she hear it right? Byakuya had shown concern for Rukia? A warm feeling spread through her chest, and she couldn't help the smile that crept up her face. So he had taken her advice then. At least now, her relationship with his sister improved, even if theirs had gone down to the grave.

"It took me quite a hard time to convince him to let her go. Negotiating with him is simply so—" But he never got to finish his sentence as the front door suddenly slid open with a bang and a flash of pink and white streaked into the room.

"Jūshirō! Retsu-san! Hi! What are you doing here? Certainly didn't expect you, haha!" shouted a familiar voice from the swirling cloud of pink and white as it whirled around the small room. Retsu turned and inspected him more carefully. He was sweating profusely and kept glancing around as if in fear.

"Kyōraku taichou, are you hiding from something?" she asked sternly. Ukitake chuckled indulgently beside her.

"Hiding? Oh yes, certainly. That something is looking for me as we speak, and it comes in the form of my gorgeous lieutenant. Now I admit that that doesn't sound entirely disagreeable, Kami knows I will lift up the day when she comes running to me with her arms wide open, leading me to her heavenly bosom. But unfortunately, she is hunting for me for a thoroughly different reason. I forgot to make my report for our captains' meeting this morning." He said, agitatedly pacing around the tiny room, still peeking around as if he expected his lieutenant to jump out at any second.

"And this is the place you chose to hide? Wouldn't she have sought for you here first?"

"Ah! But that's exactly why I came here. It's the most obvious place I would go to that she wouldn't even _think _I'd seek shelter here. But honestly, I really had no idea! I thought we just had one last Monday!"

"Shunsui! Dear me, that's because we _did _just have our captain's meeting then. The meeting for this morning has been called to address one of the 11th division's complaints against the 6th." Ukitake chuckled at the expression of dismay on his friend's face.

"What! Then why do we have to be involved? I woke up this early for _that_?"

"The soutaichou has requested an audience. It is also, I suspect, to keep Zaraki-taichou and Kuchiki-taichou from doing any damage and quite possibly killing each other. You know that they've always been at odds with each other."

Kyōraku snorted. "That's the understatement of a lifetime, Jūshirō. Really." But he still looked annoyed at having woken up so early from his usual. It was truly a wonder how he could be functioning properly at this time of day.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

After Kyōraku had gotten over the loss of his precious sleep, the three captains made their way to the 1st Division headquarters. And sure as daylight, they saw Nanao Ise waiting impatiently by the great double doors.

"There you are! I left a memo for you saying you had a meeting this morning and the first thing you do is _hide _from me?"

With an apologetic and embarrassed grin, Ukitake attempted to steer himself and Retsu away from the arguing couple as Kyōraku attempted to charm his way out. Neither Ukitake nor Retsu were interested to hear whatever scolding Nanao had prepared for her captain. But Retsu was no longer paying attention to them because at that particular instant, a familiar presence appeared outside the 1st division entrance. She had caught his scent before she had actually _seen _him coming; the sweet, clean smell of cotton and cherry blossoms could only mean one thing.

_He_ had arrived.

She peeked surreptitiously at him and she was surprised when she discovered him staring back. His icy, penetrating gaze landed on her, to Ukitake, then back at her again. She suddenly felt awkwardly aware of how close she was standing to Ukitake. A feeling of guilt and an irrational need to explain assailed the pit of her stomach. But he had already vanished into the building so quickly that she could only stand there, helpless and dejected, worrying about what could have gone through his mind.

All this happened in a blink of any eye and she felt vexation eating her up and destroying her insides again, a sensation she had gotten used to since their "estrangement," if she could call it that.

"Unohana-taichou? Shall we go in now?" Ukitake asked with his soft, curious eyes.

_He must have seen our exchange, _she thought, paralyzed with self-denial and, gradually, resignation. She had wanted to keep it a secret that they were no longer talking. But sooner or later, someone was bound to find out. _At least it is Ukitake. I know he will not ask me about it._

She smiled at him, radiantly and cheerfully, acutely dissonant with what she was feeling inside. "Of course."

When they arrived in the meeting hall, the others were already there. She came to stand between Soifon and the man whose gaze made her flush. She need not have worried though, for he was using all his power to avoid her.

Unohana noted that he stood farther from her than he usually did today.

_There is simply no hope for us._

With utmost control, Retsu squared her shoulders and lifted her chin high. She became once more, the great healer and captain that she was. If there was one thing she had left, it was her pride. It was her greatest weapon and, undoubtedly, her greatest destruction.

The soutaichou nodded at last and motioned towards the 11th Division's captain. "Right, Zaraki-taichou, please step forward and state your claim."

"Tch. This is all so damn useless. All I'm asking is that son of a—"

"I see you've chosen to act diplomatically," shot the 6th Division captain, unwilling to lose his temper, but irritation already evident on his handsome features.

"Shut up. Ever since this war started, my men have been training ten times as hard to be ten times stronger than those worthless weaklings Aizen calls Arrancar. But we can't do that if we don't have the damn resources and equipment which pretty boy here refuses to give me. How the hell do you expect us to win if I can't even train my division properly?"

The General pinched the bridge of his nose. Unohana knew he was already having a migraine. "Kuchiki-taichou, what have you to say to this?"

Byakuya now looked annoyed, as if all this was beneath him. "The 11th Division expenses have already exceeded their budget limit for this month. They have destroyed too many buildings and weapons. The cost of their lifestyles is too high for what is allotted to them. I propose that they start changing their habits or else raise their own funds to support that kind of living."

"You've got a lot of nerve Kuchiki. I was about to accept that pathetic excuse," Kenpachi started. Byakuya's elegant fingers twitched, a movement only Unohana had caught, being the one still nearest him.

"But then I found out that the 4th Division—" Kenpachi continued acerbically, throwing Unohana a distasteful look. All she managed to do was blink in shock. "—has exceeded _their _budget. But did you tell them to take a hike? No! Hell, you even gave them _double _the funds that should have been assigned to them! If that ain't politicking, I don't know what is."

General Yamamoto glanced sharply between her and Byakuya. Retsu's face was tinged with red. She seriously had no idea that her division had gone over their expenses and have been asking for more. Her pretty features formed a small frown as she threw a questioning look at Byakuya. Why would he even do that?

Silence pervaded, tense and thick.

Kenpachi raised his arms smugly. "I guess you're wondering how I found out, huh? Well, let's just say I have people who know how to squeeze out the truth."

Unohana inhaled sharply, growing furious at his implication. She knew _exactly _what he meant by that. From whom could he have found that out if not from one of her division's?

"Ha! Nothing to say pretty boy? Guess nobody'd ever thought you'd be this corrupt."

Byakuya merely looked to his side, seemingly growing bored of all this. "The money I gave did not come from the Gotei 13 funds."

Shock washed over the faces of every member in the room as this piece of information slowly sunk into everyone's minds. Even the General had both his eyes open.

"Then where the hell did you get them the money?"

Byakuya seemed to shrug, although being him, he didn't. "From my own funds," he said coolly and casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world. His eyes were closed, his stance proud and unapologetic.

Someone started laughing, a disturbing, maniacal sound given the situation. It was Kurotsuchi, of course.

"Hihahaha! Even Kuchiki can't refuse a woman. Oh how the mighty have fallen."

"How terribly sexist of you, Kurotsuchi," said the biting voice of Soifon. "I fail to see how Unohana or any woman for that matter can be connected to this. For all we know, Kuchiki-taichou chose to donate his money for the 4th Division's cause."

"If you think that Kuchiki is benevolent enough to engage in such a charitable act for the sake of altruism alone, then you're more stupid than I thought."

"ENOUGH," the General burst, finally reaching the end of his patience.

Tension filled the room once again as the captains awaited the General's verdict. Unohana resisted the urge to shift her weight from her left foot to the other in apprehension.

"Unohana-taichou. Kuchiki-taichou. We shall have a talk. Now. The rest of you are dismissed for now."

As they waited for the rest of the captains to leave the room, Unohana glanced nervously at the silent noble beside her. _This_ was the sort of thing she wanted to avoid. But she would lie if she said that she wasn't feeling the least bit excited and thrilled at the possibly of talking to Byakuya. Feeling like a teenaged girl, she nearly trembled from agitation. But she composed herself.

There was nothing to do but wait for the General to speak. They both stared in silence at the heavy expression on his face. He was too old to be dealing with this kind of problem. He turned from her to Byakuya with an inscrutable expression. Maybe it was disappointment.

"I don't know what it is between the two of you, but duty comes first. You are captains. For Kami's sake, act like captains. There is no time for dissension when we're having a war," he said powerfully, his voice rising with each word as he glared at them both with reprehending eyes.

"Yes, sir," they both murmured.

"Kuchiki-taichou, you are no longer allowed to make donations without my knowledge and approval."

Byakuya didn't reply. Unohana could tell he still found no fault in it.

"Unohana-taichou."

She stiffened at the sound of her name.

"Were you aware that your expenses have exceeded the maximum allowable budget?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but no. My third-seated officer is the one in charge of our finances."

"Then I suggest you monitor your subordinate more closely. Understood? Now, get out of my office."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

With a loud bang, the great doors of the 1st Division were slammed shut, leaving the two captains standing outside in the most awkward of silences. Seconds slipped past them when Kuchiki Byakuya moved to step away at last.

_Wait! _Her mind screamed desperately. _It can't possibly end like this! _Her mind reeled as she frantically scrambled for an excuse to keep him from leaving.

"Why?" she blurted out, her voice barely above a whisper, almost insubstantial in the harsh noon light.

He paused mid-step and she knew he had heard. He grudgingly turned and fixed his cool, silver eyes somewhere behind her, still evading her searching eyes. But she took courage now that she finally got his attention, even if he found it deplorable to meet her gaze.

"Does there have to be a reason?" he asked back, his voice low and calm like an ocean, just the way she remembered it. She wanted to pretend that it was the tone he used to speak with her and for the briefest of moments, her heart soared with hope. It felt like they were back on her porch, enjoying the evening with soft thoughts and warm tea. Her harsh mind perished the thought instinctively.

She shook her head. Her throat had gone horribly dry. "I—"

"You don't need to say anything more," he said, still seeing through her as if there was an imaginary person standing right behind her. "I apologize for any trouble I may have caused you. I certainly did not intend it. It will not happen again." He began to shift away again.

"That wasn't what I was going to say," she said, almost timidly.

He grew still. His eyes reluctantly made their way into hers, revealing an emotion she couldn't quite place. A light seemed to burn beneath the cold, silver gray. She forgot how breathtaking he was up close and had to continuously remind herself to breathe.

He waited for her expectantly.

"I… You…" she started, fumbling for words, her mind in a muddle. Her heart was in her throat.

This was it. This was it. What should she say? That she was wrong? That she would take all those words back? That she never wanted to part from him ever again? That she _loved_ him? That the distance and silence spent apart could not quench this love inside her chest that flowed powerfully from all the four chambers of her heart? An opportunity to finally reveal the truth has been presented to her. What should she do? It was a gift send from above! With just a few words, she could end her suffering, end their separation. Be happy. Be free. No more lies. Just plain truth.

Her mind and heart battled fiercely. A thousand thoughts swept through her head like flashes of lightning. Emotions pent up inside of her threatened to explode and spill out into dangerous words—words she longed and dreaded to utter.

_I love you._

Such simple words. But they carried her whole world. She no longer denied that she indeed loved him, with every second of her ancient soul, every sinew in her muscles, every bone in her body, and every neuron in her brain. Her mind could not deceive herself anymore. This multifaceted emotion she felt, shining with warmth, joy, passion, sorrow, loneliness and more could no longer be disguised as a simple doing of her hormones.

When did she finally realize that she truly, madly, _deeply, _loved him? Was it now that he was standing right before her, eyes looking into her soul? Was it during the arduous months of their estrangement, when she spent the nights drinking tea in isolation? Perhaps, it could even be that fateful night when she tore their lives asunder.

But it did not matter _when_. No, it certainly won't matter anymore if she told him. What would be important is that he would know…

But then what?

What would she do?

What would _he _do?

Her heart suddenly shrank from the imposing reality of uncertainty and dread stole back into her heart once again.

Was honesty truly going to set her free? Or was it going to chain her to a life of shame, of living through an unrequited love?

Fear overcame hope. With no surprise, her mind won again and the feelings that rose so violently and swiftly inside of her fell into gentle waves once more.

"For whatever reason you did what you did, whether there _is_ one or not, thank you, Kuchiki-taichou," she said at last, shoulders and posture as stiff and formal as her words.

She did not know if she had really seen it, but the light in his eyes seemed to fade as her words settled between them like heavy stones dropping on still water.

He nodded politely and turned. Her hand rose unconsciously toward him. But he disappeared as soon as he took a first step, leaving the faint traces of cherry blossoms in his wake. He left so quickly, he left behind an afterimage of himself, evanescent, his hair swaying gently in the breeze. It echoed what she felt like inside: cold and empty, unreal.

She felt her heart die a thousandth time.

_End of Chapter_

_A/N: Sorry, I know, this is late, but I've been really busy. Hopefully, I will be able to upload the next chapter soon. Of course, reviews will help speed up the process : Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	14. Chapter 13

Not Just A Mother Figure

CHAPTER 13

Blood pounded in his ears. The adrenaline rush that only battle could kindle burned through his veins. Scanning the room, he searched for any other worthy opponent who dared to stand against him. But still, the turbulence in his soul would not abate. Violence, ultimately, was never the solution.

He was learning the hard way that _this_ was a disease that had no cure. His heart sank as he predicted another wretched night of sleeplessness and restlessness.

"Taichou."

The tall, dark-haired man shifted his head towards the direction of the voice. He gripped a long, formidable steel sword tightly and expertly in his hand and death was written in his eyes. His red-headed lieutenant shrank back in terror, hands held up in the air. Yet despite his obvious fear, the captain could see the stubborn, reckless fearlessness that so distinguished members of the 11th division. Abarai had embodied the said division's personality so perfectly that everyone had thought he'd never last a day in the 6th. But to everyone's surprise, he got along just fine and easily adopted its culture. But there were still moments when his history with that barbaric division would worm its way through like a strong odor that clearly marked him from the rest of his division. There was nothing distasteful about foolish bravery in itself, to be sure. But right then, anything that reminded him of _that_ division irked him to no end.

"T-taichou, I, uh, think we've had enough practice for the d-day," Abarai stammered on boldly, unwisely meeting the murderous eyes of his captain. For a moment that stretched on to eternity, the two stared each other down, until finally, Byakuya turned away gracefully, sheathing Senbonzakura.

Before he left his division's sparring grounds, he spoke calmly, his voice resounding clearly, reaching the ears of every beat up Shinigami in the area, save for the unconscious. "You've done well, all of you."

With those words left behind, he vanished from their sight. Though their bones were broken and their bodies bruised, it filled everyone with warm hope and pride. Most of all, it rose inside of them the love and admiration they had for their captain.

Renji looked back at the last spot his captain had stood and wondered what had set him in such a bad mood. The captains' meeting that morning must not have gone as well as he planned.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kuchiki Byakuya glided down the halls of his manor like a dark cloud. A violent storm was surging, consuming his mind and his body, leaving him in a miserable state of agitation. He had not felt like this in over half a century. He thought he had achieved the inner peace that many search for all their lives and that any disturbance or tribulation had ceased to take effect on him. Could it be that _she_ had been his peace? Byakuya dismissed the thought as soon as it was conceived, averse to any thoughts that involved her.

Sitting in his study was an impossibility. Not even his favorite book could calm his spirit. He considered preparing some tea but could not pause long enough to finish brewing it. He opposed calling a servant to fix it for him, afraid that he'd find some small fault in the way they might prepare it. That would only add fuel to his ire. They did not deserve to bear the brunt of his temper. But they knew well enough to avoid him when he was in such a terrible mood.

Wise servants.

He came to a brief stop by the man made spring in one of his indoor gardens. The sight and music of water tinkling in the night air usually soothed his nerves. He remained there for a few more anxious-filled moments before his feet took off again.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing that could subdue the chaos within him, he thought as he swept from room to room. The emptiness and spaces that filled his house were slowly driving him off the edge. He felt it, creeping back into his system, which he failed to extinguish during his training session with his division.

He felt a twinge of something akin to regret as he recalled how he bruised, burned, broke, blasted and butchered his division earlier that day. It was a massacre.

_It__'__s __not __their__ fault._

He had needed to remind himself that continuously each time he swung his deadly blade cruelly against the swords of those terrified Shinigami. The sheer fear on their pale faces was sure to be hammered on the growing list of images that plagued his dreams.

His feet directed him before the great shoji doors that led to the room he held most sacred. The temptation to enter it was great, but a large part of him cringed from the idea of entering her presence when he was in so much turmoil. He went in anyway and slid the doors shut behind him.

At the far end of the vast room flickered a dim light. A candle was softly burning beside her beloved portrait. His servants knew exactly what the consequences would be if they failed to keep a candle lit.

His soft footfalls came nearer ad nearer to Hisana's shrine. Raising his hand dreamily to touch his beloved's face, he sighed, grief seeping through with every breath. His fingers came close but did not touch the glass. He did not know why, but he never did. Perhaps he was afraid of the reality that that one touch would bring—that his fingers would meet cool, hard glass instead of warm, soft skin. Although she did feel very cold to the touch during the end…

Kami, but he did miss his wife terribly. She would know what to do, would have cradled his head in her lap and listened to his woes with selflessness and without judgment… like another woman he knew.

That is, before she broke his heart.

Byakuya whipped his hand away angrily, the restlessness rising again like a tidal wave. It made him furious to be thinking of _her,_especially here in his sacred place. Cursing his insistence on stepping into the room, he fled Hisana's shrine like a fleeting shadow. He did not dare mar her memory even further.

He roamed through the empty corridors once again, like a purposeless ghost. There was no chance of evading _her_ in his sleep that night. That much was certain. So he sought to elude sleep entirely, if it meant not seeing her face. But even now, when he was wide awake, her eyes, her smile, and her voice threatened to bust into his head with such adamant insistence that he could not do anything to keep them from breaking in.

He resisted the urge to growl in frustration.

It was no use, he knew, dwelling on those thoughts when he had promised to let her go.

Let her go? Leave her alone?

_How __could__ she __have__ asked__ that__ of __me?_ he asked for the hundredth time. How shortsighted of him to agree to it in the first place! What had he been thinking then? Certainly not this! Never did he imagine that _he_ was the cause of all her discomfort and pain. How could he have been hurting her without his knowledge? He did not think he was that oblivious and ignorant when it came to women.

A flash of guilt swept through him as he was painfully reminded again of his vow, the vow he had made to protect her and Rukia, the only two people that mattered in his life. It shook him to his very core that it was himself that he needed to protect her from. But the promise was made ad he gave his word. The only thing he could do now was wait for her to come back to him ad tell him that she wanted to see him again, all the while trying to protect her from any evil at this distance.

_Distance._

Never before did he feel actual physical pain inflicted by such an ordinary thing as distance. That night he left her porch, he could not have known the gravity of the favor she had asked of him. If he had truly known, he'd never have set foot outside her quarters. He would have stayed, persuaded, demanded that she retract her request. He wasn't sure how he would do that, but, for Kami's sake, he would have made her see that what she was asking would kill him.

Byakuya furrowed his brow, irked at how overly dramatic he sounded. But it was really what it felt like!

The worse part was… The worse part was that he could not see the same inner turmoil in her. He almost believed he did see it earlier that day, outside those great doors of the 1st division. He thought he saw it shining in her eyes. But it died before it could take solid form.

Disappointed, he shot out of there, away from her presence, as fast as he was capable of, as if his life had depended on it.

No, not life. Only his dignity.

First, he finds her in the company of Kyōraku and Ukiitake. Then Kenpachi reveals, in the crudest manner, that he was donating extra funds to her division. And after all that, she thanks him as if he were a mere stranger! Had she already forgotten all the years they've been through together? Or had she been pretending all along that she loved him? That she _cared_ for him?

She was one of the only people who had ever understood him. But if she had truly known him, then she should have known as well that she was killing him with her indifference. And they said he was the cold one. The Unohana he knew would never be so unfeeling. Was this then the Retsu she had buried beneath her? If it was, then Retsu was driving him insane.

The hallway branched into two, and he stilled in uneasy contemplation. His jumbled thoughts were so loud in his mind that he felt they would break the silence. Should he take the path on the right or the one on the left? Should he still trudge on and protect Retsu or should he leave her in peace if that is what she desires?

No, this wasn't what she wanted. She said so herself. It was what she needed. That was what made him agree, he remembered now.

He took the right turn. The passage led him to a porch facing a garden, dark and gloomy with shadows cast by the meager moonlight. Though the air was cold and sharp, he did not mind. Harsh environmental conditions did not trouble him for he was a master of self-discipline.

There was something nostalgic about that place. Like a scent back in one's childhood or soft dust on sun rays. Slowly, the nights of him and Unohana enjoying tea came back to him. Yes, that was it.

Instead of cringing from the sudden memory, he merely felt a dull ache as he recalled the many conversations they had on this very porch. And when they weren't talking, they had sat here together, in silence and contentment, enjoying each other's company. Somehow, this recollection gave him sadness, not anger. This made him think that maybe it wasn't _her_ that he was upset with. Maybe it was something else.

He sat down, for once, not feeling the dissatisfaction of staying in one place. Even when her phantom floated in his vision, settling on the spot she had last taken, he remained.

It was true then, her presence brought him peace, even if it was only from an apparition of her. But he was not going to argue or complain as he was too tied and weary now that the restlessness had finally left him. He waited until the sky grew less dark and watched the first rays of sunlight touch the garden and burst into colors.

A servant later found him there alone, sleeping with a serene expression, and rushed to get him a blanket.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kuchiki Byakuya frowned at the elderly servant before him. He had called the day off for his division, seeing as everyone was still a little bit sore from yesterday's training. It was not a spur of the moment kind of thing. Kuchiki Byakuya was not impulsive. All his decisions were made carefully and with much deliberation. When he did act impulsively, the very act of doing so would be pondered over laboriously before he did such a thing. But the free day was necessary. Besides, the soutaichou would never accuse him or his division of being lackadaisical.

Now, here was a manservant before him, informing him that a captain with long, snow white hair had arrived on his estate and was asking for him. He wondered if it was a coincidence or if the sickly captain had heard of his not-so-minor bout of madness in his division's training grounds. He did not think Ukitake was foolish enough to meddle in his affairs. He will not have a pleasant reception here, especially with what occurred yesterday. The morning sun seemed to darken as he bore in mind that Ukitake had appeared much too close to Unohana for his liking when he arrived at the 1st division yesterday. It was another proof showing that he was the only one Unohana was treating differently. He questioned himself whether he should be pleased that she was treating him as special or be resentful that others were allowed to enjoy being near her.

He almost ran a hand through his hair in exasperation but didn't. It would mess up his kenseikan. Byakuya proceeded to analyze the possible consequences that might arise should he decide to turn the 13th Division's captain away. He wasn't in the mood for any kind of interrogation from the lesser noble. But this was Rukia's captain; He might be bringing back news of his sister who was currently guarding the human world. He mentally cursed. Yes, there was really no way to go about it. He must see the captain.

He finally put down the book he had been reading and motioned to his servant to let Ukitake in. The servant bowed low and left soundlessly. Not even his footsteps could be heard. Visitors always found it unnerving that the helpers of the Kuchiki's were always silently appearing and disappearing. But he grew up with it and their noiseless appearances no longer startled him.

Soon, a pair of graceful footsteps could be heard, sounding shy and unobtrusive. It took a lot for Byakuya not to find it obsequious. But he had to stop finding more reasons to hate the man. He must treat him with subtlety and discretion. That was the benefit of being born in a world of nobility and politics: feigning impassivity was inbred into his character.

"Oh, good morning, Byakuya-san!"

There. Another excuse to dislike him: he wouldn't stop calling him by his first name. Although Ukitake _was _several centuries older than him, it still gave him discomfort.

Gliding his cold eyes over to Ukitake's white figure, he sized him up discreetly. Was this Retsu's type? Maybe she found it endearing that Ukitake was perpetually ill. But no, he seriously doubted that. Maybe it was that they were closer in age. Well, it was no longer his fault for being doomed to be born a millennium after her.

He only just noticed that Ukitake was still talking cheerfully. "I just met Abarai-fukutaichou on the street. He told me you had declared the day off for your division, so I figured you'd be here. I had been wanting to ask you about something for a long time now."

Byakuya wordlessly raised an elegant eyebrow. Ukitake stopped speaking, still expecting Byakuya to reply. When it became apparent that Byakuya wasn't planning to, he still waited, a charming smile on his face, not at all bothered by the lack of response from the dark-haired noble. Byakuya eyed his green-eyed rival, giving in first, desiring to end this conversation quickly.

"Which is?"

"Well, it has been a long time since we met for our Calligraphy Club, yes? I was just curious why, since the soutaichou promoted the continuance of extracurricular activities so avidly."

"I had not found the time."

"Oh? Then that's too bad then... You may find me too sentimental, but I've enjoyed our sessions a great deal and hope that we could get back again. Unohana-senpai misses them very much as well."

Byakuya felt his brow twitch lightly at the sound of her name being spoken by _him._But he did not rise to his obvious bait.

Ukitake continued. "We have been talking lately, and we think that we should continue our sessions. If you do not have time, maybe you could kindly just lend us your Club Room? I'm getting worried because we may be out of practice already." He gave another one of his easy laughs.

Byakuya fumed inside. Let them borrow the Club Room so they could be alone doing "calligraphy"? Not on his life. Granted, Abarai-fukutaichou would most likely be attending, but he wasn't taking any chances.

There was also no way he could refuse Ukitake's request and Ukitake knew it. The room was built solely for the Calligraphy Club. It was just one of the dozens of rooms on his estate. It was either he grant them his permission or risk revealing a deeper motive why he had discontinued the Calligraphy Club sessions.

He _knew_ Ukitake was more insidious than he appeared.

Ukitake was met with another round of silence as Byakuya assessed his situation. He used to like Ukitake, well, as much as he could like anybody. Perhaps it was more appropriate to say that Ukitake did not annoy him as much as the others did. He wasn't weird like Kurotsuchi or bloodthirsty like Zaraki. In fact, he was one of the most dignified people in the Gotei 13. But why couldn't he stop finding fault after fault from him now?

Was he... jealous?

It was an inconceivable thought. He was never envious; there was never a need. All his life, Byakuya had never looked at another person and wished he had been born somebody else. To be jealous was to be petty. It was a complete waste of emotions. No, he concluded, he could not be jealous. There was nothing desirable that he could think of that Ukitake had that he himself didn't. Unless you count his openness and unabashed kindness. Indeed, the only possible candidate was that Unohana was now spending more time with him.

The healer and the patient. The idea of it made him ill.

Okay, so maybe he was a little jealous.

Unohana did say to leave her alone. But would that also include meeting up for the Calligraphy Club?

This was an absolute deadlock.

But Ukitake _did_ say that she wanted to continue their sessions as well. And he was, as Yamamoto had put it so severely, a captain first and foremost. He deemed that it was about time he started acting like one and obey Yamamoto's wishes, personal obligations aside.

"Very well. I will schedule our next meeting."

Ukitake grinned freely, his eyes shining. "Brilliant! Thank you, Byakuya-san!"

Byakuya simply nodded and returned to his book. A couple of minutes passed when he finally looked up again.

"You're still here."

Ukitake smiled sheepishly. "Well... There is actually something else I wanted to, uh, discuss with you. To clear some things up."

Byakuya marked his book and put it down again. Ukitake was once again waiting for him to respond. He nodded to indicate he was listening, barely able to keep his impatience in check, but he still did not speak.

Thankfully, Ukitake was prudent enough to let it go. "Okay, well, it's about what I saw the other day, with you and Unohana-senpai..."

Byakuya nodded once and congratulated himself for remaining calm. He felt an odd sense of relief now that they were going to tackle the dangerous subject directly.

"I noted that you're no longer..." Ukitake trailed off, not finding the words.

"We are not on speaking terms as of the moment, yes."

Ukitake blinked, startled by Byakuya's quick admission. "Y-yes, exactly. I won't ask why because that's none of my business..."

_Then __what __could __he __possibly__ gain __by __bringing__ this __up?_ Byakuya thought, suddenly suspicious. Could it be that he was... going to ask him for his blessing to... _date_ Unohana? Byakuya cut off the thought the way he would slice off his nerves if it was necessary in battle. Ukitake did not nor would he ever feel the need to have his permission for _that_. The very notion was laughable really. Who would have thought that after all this, he'd develop a sense of humor?

"But because Unohana-senpai is close to me, as I know she is also dear to you..."

The 6th Division captain frowned, not liking the way the other captain was speaking in circles. "And?"

"Look. Whatever happened between you two that had brought you apart was not a trifling matter, I'm sure. But I can tell that it's affecting the both of you negatively, and I'm afraid it might cause some unnecessary... complications when the day of the final battle arrives."

"This is not your concern," he said, his voice frosty with disdain.

"She is my friend and she is our colleague," Ukitake said swiftly with a surprising lack of meekness. His seniority on both age and experience which he had kept low-key before was now strikingly evident. "Whatever happens to her will be the concern of all Soul Society and even the human world. You know very well she is invaluable to us in this war, though admittedly she is precious even without it."

_Well said, Ukitake-taichou._

"My point is that you will not be doing anyone a favor, and much less yourself, if the both of you go to battle and your minds are not in it. I'm not saying that I doubt your skills. But anything could happen in a moment of weakness. No one can be perfectly prepared against the unknown. Listen for a moment because there is a reason behind all this. I'm sure you've heard that Yamamoto has commissioned Kisuke to create a Garganta?"

Byakuya nodded, still unsure of where the other captain was heading.

"And everyone knows about how one of Kurosaki Ichigo's friends disappeared one day, igniting all sorts of rumors that she had betrayed them and such."

Yes, the orange-haired girl who had a serious, transparent infatuation on Kurosaki Ichigo. Byakuya remembered her.

"On that final day of battle, the Gotei 13 captains will be split into two groups: those who await Aizen in the fake Karakura Town Yamamoto has assigned Kisuke to create, and those who will be heading over to Hueco Mundo to save the girl."

Byakuya's eyes slightly widened in surprise. He did not question how Ukitake got this information since he had been in the Gotei 13 far longer than Byakuya had. Ukitake knew what questions to ask and who to ask them to. It was also common knowledge the General had a soft spot for Ukitake and Kyōraku. But there was something that didn't make sense to him, and he couldn't resist asking.

"Why will we be interfering with this? The girl is not our primary concern. I would understand why the Gotei will want to save her; She does have a unique healing ability. But she is still just one girl. Why will the soutaichou send captains for this task?"

As Byakuya asked these questions thoughtfully, Ukitake stared at him; his eyes were prompting him, as if he was trying to make him understand. And in an instant, comprehension dawned in his gray eyes.

"Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends will be coming after her."

Ukitake beamed. "Exactly."

Byakuya imperceptibly leaned back, digesting this realization. "Aizen will predict this rescue mission."

"Yes, accurately so. The General expects Aizen will leave some of his strongest Arrancar behind in Hueco Mundo and take the rest of them with him to Karakura Town."

That does complicate things. But when was war ever that simple?

"Rukia will be joining Kurosaki."

"Yes, that can't be helped. I will make sure she is accompanied by my lieutenant."

"And what about you, Kuchiki-taichou?"

Byakuya noticed the change in the way he called him. "I will go to Hueco Mundo."

Ukitake nodded grimly. "I thought as much. I myself will be assigned to Karakura Town. That is where Shunsui will head to. There has been talk that the exiled members of the Gotei 13 would be making an appearance. He will not miss that chance to see his former lieutenant."

That was not a surprise. The Vizards had unfinished business with Aizen and his lackeys.

"Oh, and Byakuya-san," another shift in name. "There is also one other person whose whereabouts I'm sure you'd be mighty interested to know, if you care about her as much as I think you do. As of the moment, the soutaichou is against sending her to Hueco Mundo to take care of the wounded. He knows that when he does send her there, there is no telling when she might be able to return. In fact, the soutaichou is _also_ against sending her to Karakura Town, fearing that Aizen will attack her this time as he hadn't in the past."

Ukitake sighed, but continued.

"Unohana-senpai will not accept that kindly. She is more than capable of fighting. But her heart is not in it. Even the General is aware of that, and so he wants to shield her from the heart of battle and save her for the healing part. For now, her assignment is still under serious discussion. But right now, we are still not certain whether the human girl is on Aizen's side or not. Kurosaki _must _make it to Karakura Town unharmed enough to defeat Aizen, and Unohana-senpai is the perfect woman for that job if the human girl has really changed alliances. Am I correct in assuming that you'd also want her to accompany you to Hueco Mundo?"

There was a long pause before Byakuya replied, although he still did not answer Ukitake's question.

"You believe this boy is the one who will defeat Aizen then?"

"I do not know what to believe. But I know how to hope. He is the only one of us strong enough who has not seen Aizen's shikai. And right now, he is our best chance of winning."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When Ukitake had left, Byakuya remained unmoving, still considering the hidden request that revealed the true purpose of Ukitake's visit.

_Unohana Retsu will be fighting in this war._ It was a truth he had always known in the back of his mind but only now did he come to accept it.

A shiver tried to slither its way down his spine, but he managed to control himself before it took hold of him. Retsu had sworn herself to the Gotei to atone for the sins of her past. That was why she had wanted to control her powers: to protect others from herself.

"…_I would be strong, strong enough not to hurt another soul." That was what she was promised._

If, after a thousand years had passed, she still had not stopped blaming herself for the deaths of her sister, lover, and suitor, what more the deaths of the human-like Hollow abominations Aizen had created for his army? He knew that for Retsu, a life was a life. If she could go through this war without having to make a single act of bloodshed, she would. She was not like him who would only see those Arrancar as what they ultimately were, just Hollows who had consumed a million other souls for their survival. Yet, now that he was thinking about it more closely, he wasn't sure if this was technically true.

But no, she was never going to forgive herself for the rest of her existence if she had killed one more being. Whether it was a human, a spirit, or a hollow, it made no difference. It might even send her spiraling down another trench of depression.

_She had been suicidal before, _Byakuya noted with increasing alarm. What would stop her from awakening those tendencies now? By Kami, he was _not_ going to risk finding out the answer. If she took her own life…

A hard lump formed in his throat. A sinister spell drifted over him, darkness flooding his vision.

_If she took her own life…_

He felt faint. A familiar emotion wrestled its way up from one of the vicious memories he had buried deep within his heart.

It was from the day he learned that there was no cure for Hisana. He had intended never to feel this way again: the revolting feeling of impotency. But fate always did have a cruel penchant for playing with his emotions.

He _must_ find a way to save her from any unnecessary battle. He felt that this was what he must do, if he was going to protect her at all.

Byakuya stood up, determined and empowered from the revelation of his new mission and the disaster he must avert. He must talk to the General and make him understand. Couldn't he see that Unohana, as Ukitake had mentioned, was perfect for the rescue mission?

_End of Chapter_

_A/N Thank you for all the sweet reviews! It keeps me motivated! It's that little push I need to update as quickly as I can. __To roysi94_: Yay! I'm glad you think so. To Spitfire: awww, thank you! is there any chance i can get a slice of that cake? _To Akai-Miko: _I'm glad you think I've improved! I _do _want to become a better writer so any form of constructive criticism, I will eagerly accept. _To Lol warrior: _Really? Aw, thanks! And I am glad I could help.


	15. Chapter 14

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 14

Minutes inched by the silent Calligraphy Room as the club waited for their last member to arrive. The tension in the air was growing heavier and heavier as each moment passed with not a sign from the 4th Division captain.

Byakuya _knew _this was a bad idea. He wanted to blame the absurdly calm white-haired Shinigami sitting on his right for insisting on it. But he knew he had also wanted this, maybe even more than Ukitake. If only to see her even just for an hour.

He speculated over how she must have reacted when he sent his lieutenant over to the 4th to inform her that the Calligraphy Club was continuing its sessions. Did she think he had broken his promise with that move? They would still be meeting professionally, after all. Was she angry that he had found this loophole?

Why was she making life so difficult for him? If he knew the reason why she was going to such great lengths to avoid him, then he was sure he'd understand. Or at least try to. But Retsu never told him anything other than to leave her alone. Was that because the reason was already so obvious that she thought he'd figure it out? If so, she had put too much faith in his detective skills because he honestly had no clue.

Byakuya considered asking Ukitake or maybe Kyōraku or Isane in case Unohana had said anything to them. But Ukitake himself knew nothing; he said so himself when he last visited the Kuchiki estate. Isane was not a good option. She was much too loyal to her captain and would be difficult to interrogate without her reporting back to Unohana. Kyoyaku might not know anything since Ukitake didn't, but it would still be worth a shot.

Byakuya looked up at the clock on the opposite wall. It was now past 10 minutes and Retsu was still missing.

"Shall we proceed?"

"Um… Unohana-taichou…" Renji began.

"She's never late. She's not coming."

"Byakuya-san, I think you meant that she's never late without a reason," said Ukitake, still so irritatingly placid.

"Hm…" Byakuya glances at the clock again.

Very well, he'll wait five more minutes. If she still hadn't shown up by then, he'll get her message loud and clear.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Unohana-taichou was sitting in her office, looking as serene as a cat on a lazy afternoon. But what she showed on the outside was not what was happening to her on the inside.

She was torn. As each second ticked by, she knew the rest of the Calligraphy Club was waiting for her in the Kuchiki manor. But she couldn't make up her mind.

When Lieutenant Abarai came to her announcing their next meeting for calligraphy, she was at first eager to get together again with the members of the club. She would see _him_ again! Even if he won't speak to her, she would feel his presence, the seraphic, white feeling of his reiatsu, breathe his flowery fragrance, feminine and masculine at the same time, and listen to the sound of his breathing. Yes, breathing. Other people would have questioned this. How could she come close enough to hear him breathe? Well, it was because she didn't have to. She was his healer. She knew how his body operated well enough to observe his vital signs a dozen paces away.

But now that the day of the meeting had arrived, she felt the anxiety terrorize her again just like what happened the other day with him outside the 1st Division.

She wanted to see him so badly that she didn't care if it was only for a club meeting. But she was afraid, so very afraid of what she might do once she saw him. One more hurt look from him, she knew, would send her resolve crumbling like a sand castle under water. Well it was her own fault for fortifying her will with something as unstable as emotions. Or perhaps the force that was Byakuya was too strong and unstoppable that any fortress she'd build would meet the same ruin.

Should she risk it? Ukitake and Lieutenant Abarai would be there. That would be enough to keep her in check. She only needed to avoid being placed in a situation alone with _him. _That would not be so hard now, would it?

There were also consequences if she didn't go. She believed that Ukitake already suspected they weren't on good terms. If she didn't attend now, she would only be confirming his suspicions.

Or maybe he already knew it, and he set her up.

She was no fool. Byakuya had stopped their meetings because of her. He would not have continued again without the promptings of another person, an external force. She knew Yamamoto was not yet aware that they had stopped the Calligraphy Club, so it couldn't have been him. That only leaves Ukitake and Renji. Renji, no doubt, couldn't have cared less about calligraphy. Yes, Ukitake had a hand to this unexpected club meeting.

She stood up and neared the window facing the 4th Division courtyard, mind still debating fiercely. A clock that was hung above the archway entrance of the court told her it was now 10 minutes past 5. She was already ten minutes late. Byakuya would not wait for her much longer. If she was still attending, she had to leave now or not go at all.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Five minutes.

Four minutes.

Three.

Two.

A knock resounded loudly outside the shoji doors, effectively melting the tension in the room. The doors slid open and Unohana Retsu appeared, smiling and looking only slightly apologetic.

"I apologize if you had to wait for me, Ukitake-taichou, Abarai-fukutaichou, Kuchiki-taichou," she said, looking at each one of them as she spoke their names. Her eyes lingered an instant longer on the club's leader who still had his eyes closed. As she took her place between Ukitake and Renji, the club waited for an explanation for her tardiness. None was given,

It was Byakuya who first broke the silence. "Let's begin then."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Retsu was glad she had come. No, she was more than glad. She was positively giddy. As she walked her way back to her quarters, she felt like skipping the rest of the way home.

He had looked at her. Thrice.

A goofy smile threatened to break on her face. She didn't know why he did that but that didn't dampen her mood.

She felt her skin tingling each time his gaze had drifted upon her. And on the third time, she actually looked back. But that wasn't the only thing she did. She had _smiled _back at him.

She hadn't meant to do it. It was an unconscious act that she didn't realize it until she saw Byakuya's face transform into a look of pure shock.

_And _instead of looking away like any sensible person would have done, the smile on her face just spread into a full-blown grin.

_He must have had a heart attack. _

But there was no denying the excitement she felt with their little exchange. After all, it _was _the first time he voluntarily paid her attention since their estrangement. Retsu wondered how long she could attend these meetings before she'd break and just grab him by his coat and give him a big, violent, passionate kiss—

"What is it that you find so amusing tonight, Re-chan?"

Retsu whipped her head, eyes wide at the sound of the voice, chagrined that she had let herself get caught off guard.

"Kyōraku-taichou, is this going to become a habit between us?" she said, already regaining her composure.

The pink-haori wearing captain strode out from under the shadows of the covered walkway.

"If you mean me scaring you because you're too distracted with something else, or should I say with a certain someone, then I think you know the answer to that better than I do."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, you must excuse me, I must be getting home. Good night, Kyōraku-taichou."

Kyōraku's amused eyes followed Retsu's retreating figure even as she continued down the dimming street and disappeared around a corner.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kuchiki Byakuya was in one of his moods again. His servants didn't understand how it could have happened so soon after the last one. But no one dared come within twenty feet of him and ask him themselves.

He wandered around his gardens aimlessly. It was a beautiful night, he thought as he ascended the little wooden bridge over his koi pond. The moon was shining splendidly over the water's surface and he could not help but pause to admire it. Yet something was rising above the water. An image.

An image of Retsu. Smiling.

He did not know if it was supposed to be an omen when a fish appeared above and rippled the smooth surface, chasing her face away. But her image remained engraved in his mind.

She had actually _smiled _at him.

He did not know if she smiled because she had actually caught him staring or if there was another thing she wanted to say. Byakuya felt too confused to figure out if he was embarrassed by it or delighted that she had gifted him with one. And it was no ordinary smile; it was the one she gave specially for him, as if they were sharing some great secret. For a moment, he had felt like a teenager again, sneaking around, slipping hidden, knowing smirks behind adults' backs.

Byakuya breathed deeply, willing himself not to think of her and how her eyes sparkled when she looked at him, a hidden message meant solely for him—

Kami, it was impossible.

Taking off again, Byakuya slipped quietly through the Kuchiki gate and out into the empty streets of the upper-class sector of Seireitei. A walk, he figured, might help him clear his thoughts.

He did not notice that, out of force of habit, his feet automatically directed him to the 4th Division. It was only when he reached the marker signifying the transition from his neighborhood to the Gotei 13 districts did he force himself to take a 180-degree turn. He headed back again to the nobility district but was met by a tall man smelling faintly of alcohol.

It was not the first time they had met on the streets after dark. Both of them were known around their neighborhood for their habitual night walks.

"Ah, good evening, Byakuya-san."

There, another person who refused to call him by his title. But he was old enough to be his grandfather so he let it slide. Kyōraku, unlike Ukitake, was not as much a threat to him for Retsu's affection.

Since when did he start calling her Retsu?

"Good evening," he greeted.

"I just passed Re-chan a couple of minutes ago. She looked like she was in an exceptionally good mood."

Byakuya clenched his fists at the casual use of her name but was distracted by his last words.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you know, she was smiling all by herself. A few more minutes and I'm sure she'd have started laughing out loud as well."

Byakuya furrowed his brows at this description of her. What in Kami's name could have gotten into her?

He froze as he suddenly remembered. Kyōraku was on good terms with Retsu. He might know something about her that Ukitake didn't. But how should he ask him?

"I presume she had come from your house? Jūshirō mentioned something about the Calligraphy Club," Kyōraku continued, gesturing for Byakuya to walk with him.

Byakuya inconspicuously raised an eyebrow. What did he say? Ukitake_ mentioned_ it? Well, _he_ was the one who insisted on having the meeting. Still, Byakuya followed and stepped in line with his fellow captain.

"I myself have not joined a club. So I don't know what things you do there. It must be fun though to have made Re-chan that amused."

Byakuya nodded, barely listening to him, still searching for a way to ask him about the woman.

"Maybe I should join, no? If there was only a Drinking Club!" he laughed by himself, but he was strange like that.

They walked down a couple more blocks. The Shihōin estate was on their left, the smaller, garish Ōmaeda mansion on their right. The Shihōin house could be seen over the gates, tall and silent as it had always been half a century ago, since their heir had left under scandalous circumstances.

"Is there something on your mind, Byakuya-san?"

Byakuya eyed the elder captain cautiously, though he wasn't at all surprised. No matter how careless and mellow he acted, Kyōraku was one of the most astute people in the Gotei. Kyōraku was staring up at the moon, a sagacious smile on his chiseled face.

Byakuya copied him and tilted his head upwards, the question still not quite formed yet in his mind.

"Is it about a certain, lovely woman?" Kyōraku injected. His tone was light and serious at the same time.

Byakuya did not respond.

Kyōraku sighed. "Yes, Retsu is a bit of a puzzle, isn't she? Nobody knows where she came from or who she had been in her past life, or if she had one to begin with…"

For a moment, the younger noble felt smug. _He _knew who she had been before Retsu. She was Unohana Miwa, though Miwa died the day Retsu was born.

"Kyōraku-taichou."

"Yes, Byakuya-san?"

It was now or never. He took a deep breath. "There is something I wish to tell you. Will I be able to trust your discretion?"

Kyōraku looked like he was about to laugh, but one look at Byakuya's somber face told him not to. "Of course, Byakuya-san. Unless you have committed a felony, you have nothing to fear from me."

Byakuya nodded vaguely and resumed walking. Kyōraku, in turn, followed him as they made their way past Ukitake's unused residences. Byakuya stopped when they reached the apple groves, a trademark of the Ukitake estate. At this point, no one will be near enough from Ukitake's mansion to overhear them without any of them noticing.

Byakuya breathed deeply, as if readying himself for a physically demanding task. "It is, as you have guessed, about Unohana-taichou... She made me promise something that I can't do anything but keep," he said, intentionally keeping his words as ambiguous as possible, willing himself to keep his voice steady. The need for answers seemed greater than the shame of having to confide his problems to someone else. "There was a reason why she made me promise this but she will not share it." _At least, not with me._

Byakuya almost missed it, but a flash of understanding flickered in Kyōraku's eyes before it was expertly masked with sympathy. But Byakuya wasn't looking for sympathy. He wanted answers.

"You know it."

Kyōraku's eyes widened before he turned away and started to chuckle. "I have almost forgotten how keen you are, Byakuya-san, though you are younger than me by a few centuries. Yes, I admit that I may know the reason although it is more a… conjecture than an actual confession from the lady herself."

Some part of Byakuya felt like rejoicing now that he was one step closer to uncovering the truth. Another part felt mildly triumphant, realizing Retsu had not actually revealed to Kyōraku what she withheld from him.

He waited for Kyōraku to continue, but the man simply stared off into the darkness of the grove. The sweet smell of apples was abundant in the air. Apple season was beginning.

"You will not tell me." Byakuya's heart sank. He was so close to unearthing Retsu's secret only to have the wind snatch it away from him again. It was a cruel world.

"Please don't see this the wrong way, Byakuya-san. The explanation you are looking for is best given by Re-chan herself. Only she has the right to tell it to you. If I did, she will resent me for it, and you in turn will begrudge her for not telling you herself."

Byakuya inhaled sharply. "I will never hate Unohana Retsu."

Kyōraku shook his head gently. "You may just not have found a reason to."

"No, you don't understand. Even if she gave me a _list_ of reasons, I will not hate her still. I cannot. I love her."

Kyōraku turned to face him again, eyes searching for something. It seemed that he did not find what he was looking for because he then smiled sadly. "As a son loves his mother, right Byakuya-san?"

Byakuya blinked. What else could it have meant? "Of course." He disregarded the brief hesitation in his reply.

"And you know that she loves you, yes?"

Byakuya paused. Did he know that? He knew this from the bottom of his heart, but by the way she had acted lately, he did not know what to think. Out of the blue, a leaf slowly drifted in the wind. His hand caught it effortlessly. He inspected it casually as he examined her relationship with him. After turning it over a couple of times, he released it to the ground, taking with it his doubts and uncertainty.

"Yes."

Kyōraku nodded and a cheer rose up into Byakuya's heart. At least Kyōraku thought so, too.

"Then Byakuya-san, this shall be your clue. I will say no more. I pray you solve it quickly, and that you'd work everything out soon."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A pink-haired child was darting in and about the Kuchiki manor. Judging by her clothes, one would be amazed that she was a Shinigiami because she was unquestionably the tiniest one in all of the Gotei. Her eyes were huge with innocence only marred by the mischievous grin on her cute, chubby face. She zoomed under tables, capering from room to room. She was a predator hunting down her prey. Who was her prey? It was a certain black-haired noble with icy grey eyes.

She crept to the corner and leaped across to the other side of the hallway. Only she never landed.

She glanced frantically down to the floor and saw her legs dangling in midair. Another pair of feet peeked out beneath hers.

"What do you think you are doing?" said a low voice behind her with subdued irritation.

"Bya-kun!"

The noble wasn't amused as he held the 11th Division's lieutenant by her shoulders, glaring at her tiny form with coldness that could kill.

"My house is not your playground."

"Silly Bya-kun!" she said cheerfully, nonplussed. Her high-pitched voice sent shooting pains through Byakuya's ears. "Why would you ever think of your house as a playground? I'm here on Female Shinigami Society business!"

A faint vein thrummed in Byakuya's jaw as he was reminded of the club that was using his facilities in some secret room in his house without his permission. Yachiru went on enthusiastically.

"We're planning on hosting a party! You know, as a before-the-end-of-the-world party! As the Vikings did, right? Party now before we die or get sick or something like that."

_Romans, _Byakuya corrected in his head. _What nonsense is this girl on about? No one was going to die—_

"But the venue is a big problem for us. We didn't know where to host it because every function hall in the Gotei is really expensive and we're out of funds. So I thought, hey! Why not host it in Bya-kun's place! It's big and it's free! Everyone agreed so I just thought I'd drop by and tell you, so you won't be surprised when the day of the party arrives."

Byakuya had a horrified look on his face as the little devil's words sank in.

Yachiru laughed on. "We wouldn't want you to come out naked in front of all those party guests now, won't we? Actually, I'm pretty sure most of them _would. _But anyway! That's how you sleep, right Bya-kun? Don't worry! I won't tell!" she giggled, an evil glint in her eyes.

He felt a monstrous headache coming as he dropped the menace to the floor. Yachiru landed gracefully like a cat and started bobbing up and down.

"You won't regret agreeing to this Bya-kun!" When did he agree? "Everyone's going to be come! It's going to be so-o-o much fun! We've prepared games and food and sweets and chocolate…"

But Byakuya stopped listening.

_Everyone was going to be there? _Did that include her…?

"Rangiku said she's also getting lots and lotsa drinks! It's the one Ikkaku and the guys always drink before they get all weird and stupid—"

"Very well. I will allow this, on one condition."

Yachiru grew silent at last and stared up at him with curious eyes.

"All the captains must attend. No exception."

The girl blinked a few times before a wide knowing smile appeared on her face, out of place with her youthful appearance.

"Haha! You got it, Bya-kun! I know exactly what you mean."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

As the day of the party inched closer and closer with each passing hour, excitement built up in every Shinigami invited. All the captains and lieutenants were going, some cruelly blackmailed by a little pink-haired demon. But everyone was looking forward to it, especially the members of the Female Shinigami Society. They had no idea how Yachiru had persuaded Byakuya with lending his manor to them. When they'd ask, Yachiru would only giggle and say "In the end, everyone gets what they want!" But they dared not question their leader or their good fortune.

There was one other person, however, who was looking forward to the oncoming party even more than Lieutenant Kusajishi. It was none other than the owner of the house himself, although his anticipation was laced with dread.

For the last two weeks, he had been thinking of a certain braid-wearing captain and the words of a pink-haori wearing one. The only absolute truth he now knows is that he loves Retsu and she loves him, too.

Yet, there was something dangerous with that statement. What secret could be hidden behind it?

Did Unohana break them apart because of the upcoming war? To ease the possible pain if one of them lost the other? No, Byakuya could not believe that. He didn't think she'd have so little faith in his or her ability to even consider the possibility of either of them dying. Besides, it was too far-fetched a guess. Kyōraku would have given more clues if that were the reason.

So what was it?

He had tried to stare it out of Retsu during the brief times that they would be together though never alone. She had been acting more strangely now. During Tea Ceremony Club, she would pass him a cup and her fingers would graze his for the briefest of seconds. To his surprise, she did not retract immediately. It was as if his touch no longer repulsed her. In Calligraphy Club, she would carry a small smile on her face, telling him that she knew he had been staring again at her and that she did not mind. No, not only that, she had found it amusing!

So every night, he had hoped and had waited for her to come knocking, to tell him it was all over now and they could be together again. But she never comes.

What could be driving her away from him if she loves him anyway? Unless… Kyōraku could not have meant that in another way.

What did he say after he said that he loved her? Like a son loves his mother? When he confirmed that she loved him, too, he did not say it out loud that it was a mother's love. But surely he had implied it?

She had not stopped loving him that's for certain. If that was so, then what had changed?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The evening of the party had arrived. Most of the guests were staying in the large festive hall on the east wing of the manor. It led directly to an empty field outside where some of the guests were staying to enjoy the cool air on that warm night despite it being well into autumn.

Already, there were some casualties that occurred. Glasses were broken, wine spilled, bits of food flung at other guests. But everyone still seemed to be enjoying the night. It was definitely a nice break from all the intense training that all divisions were undertaking.

Kuchiki Byakuya, however, had his mind on other matters. There was one person he wanted, needed to see. It was also the one person he could not find.

As he breezed down hallways, he started to think that agreeing to Yachiru's demands for the party was not the best idea. He knew she was there somewhere. He could feel her reiatsu, just barely but still there. But there were so many Shinigami in the same area; he could barely see hers above the noise of all the others. Most captains, she included, always kept their reiatsu to a minimum. The same, however, could not be said for the rest of the guests in the area.

He was stopped for the twenty-third time that night. "Byakuya-san!"

Byakuya nodded vaguely and moved to extract himself away, not in the mood for conversation with anyone but the 4th Division captain. The twenty-third greeter was not easily dissuaded. He whipped a glance at the persistent man.

Ukitake.

That explained it.

"I just got in touch with the General. He said you had already spoken to him regarding the… uh… matter we have discussed in our last conversation. I thought you'd like to know that he has finally agreed to it! Well done. Thank you for understanding."

As quickly as he had arrived, Ukitake left with a brief smile. He was heading back to the main party, Byakuya guessed. He did not even wait for Byakuya to respond.

_I did not do it for you, _he replied belatedly. Mentally shrugging, he figured Ukitake already knew this. Byakuya took off again. He had already wasted so much time.

The gardens perhaps? Retsu had amazing skill with plants, he thought randomly. He entered a dimly lit patio.

A rustle came from behind a bush. He swore that if he caught another couple engaging in a business best left unseen by a third party, he was ending the entire celebration prematurely. He sped away from the suspicious bush and entered the house again.

_There! _He could sense her more clearly now. There was little chance of him catching her unaware of his nearing presence, but he hoped she would not leave once she felt him come nearer. Or that she was not purposely hiding from him all along.

He rounded a corner and came to a shoji door leading to the same porch they had sat together for tea. A loud crash sounded somewhere deeper in the house.

"I'll pay for that!" a voice yelled, muffled and distant.

The distress on Byakuya's face was evident for a trained pair of eyes, but the broken object was far from his mind.

_She's here._

_Retsu._

He could feel her benign presence on the other side of the doors. She was alone. He felt anxious and his breathing hitched all of a sudden at the knowledge of what he was about to do.

But it wasn't too late.

He could still back down.

Retsu would be disappointed if he did not keep his promise.

But all those smiles and soft touches he received from her, what did they mean? Wasn't she the one who breached their separation first that morning outside 1st? Or were they just to taunt him and to torture him of what he cannot have? She couldn't be that cruel, could she?

Yet there was something he had to know, something that had been haunting him ever since his conversation with Kyōraku. It was something that made sense of everything that had happened but, at the same time, was completely inconceivable. At first, he dismissed it because it was simply improbable. No, not just improbable, impossible. But it remained in his head like a troublesome virus, multiplying into a thousand other dangerous thoughts until he could no longer ignore it. He had to find the truth of it or he will have no peace.

He slowly placed his hand on the door handle and hesitated. But it seemed the decision was not his to make because the door was opened from the other side before he could.

He stared straight into the beaming face of Retsu and could have cried to behold such genuine beauty.

_Do you, Retsu?_

He voiced the question in his mind. His hand unconsciously reached out.

He was so near her and yet she was so far away.

Retsu's eyes widened as his fingertips almost touched her face and Byakuya heard her give a little gasp. They remained motionless, looking into the windows of each others' souls, searching for answers to different questions. It lasted for an eternity as time seemed to slow down and stretch in that one moment, although in reality, it could not have lasted for more than a few seconds.

All sound seemed to drown out and he could only hear the loud beating of his heart.

_Do you love me?_

He did not know if he had voiced it out loud, but he must have given himself away because a look of horror dawned on her pretty face. She took a step backwards deeper into the darkness of the porch. Byakuya instantly reached for her wrist to stop her but his movements were painfully slow. His body was not reacting fast enough to the clamors of his brain.

"Wait." He stepped forward, merely succeeding in frightening her to retreat further away from him.

"I have to go." She barely finished her sentence when she vaulted and disappeared in a flash.

Just like that, she had left him again, bereft and alone. But tonight, it was going to be different.

Byakuya alighted off the porch and shunpo-ed in pursuit.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Retsu was no longer thinking coherently. The sole thought remaining in her lethargic mind was that he knew and she had to flee, fast. As she sprang off the rooftops of the noble residents in that area of Seireitei, she strained her ears for sounds of someone trailing after her. She couldn't hear anything but she didn't lower her guard. She neared the Gotei sector and took a left turn to make a shortcut through the forest that would lead to her quarters.

She was stepping on ten branches per second, using the solid wood to propel her forward each time. Her heart was beating abnormally fast, though it wasn't from the abrupt burst of physical exertion. The wind was rushing past her ears, deafening, but she pushed on unwaveringly. At last she could see her room and the balcony like a light at the end of a tunnel. There was something at the back of her mind nagging her but she couldn't understand what it was. When her feet landed on the wooden planks of her balcony, fear overtook her, not the solace one expects from one's home.

She stood there silently, muscles tensed, breathing slowly to hush her poor heart. Her apartment felt alien and unwelcoming.

_Concentrate._

She cursed inwardly as she forcefully slid the door to her inner rooms. Sure enough, he was there, standing in the middle of her sitting room waiting for her.

That was what she couldn't remember. She panicked and forgot that her quarters would be the first thing he'd look for her.

One look on his face told her how serious he was. He had come to make some changes whether it be the end of them or the start of something new. His eyes held her as effectively as if he had tied her with a rope. She gulped and took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"Good evening, Kuchiki-taichou. I'm surprised to see you here—"

She stopped all of a sudden as the man stalked forward. It was then that she realized one very important thing.

_I can't do this._

With a graceful turn, she sped back into the forest. At the back of her mind, she heard him chase after her.

_He's coming after me. Where can I go? What should I do?_

It was dark in the forest; the meager moonlight and starlight barely penetrating through the thick foliage, and in some places it was pitch dark. After leaping from a dozen trees, she settled on the arms of large oak and pressed her back into the trunk in the hopes of blending in. She had shed her captain's coat somewhere along the chase. The stark white of her coat would be easily seen in the darkness.

She counted 15 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute, then five minutes. Still there was no sign of him. Had she lost him? She checked her reiatsu. She had the uncanny ability of masking it completely and for the life of her, she had never been more grateful for it that then.

It was only after ten full minutes had passed did she allow herself to breathe again.

He was gone. She couldn't feel his presence anywhere in the area. In fact, she couldn't sense him anywhere at all.

She frowned. Something was not right. Could it be that he could hide his reiatsu as completely as she could?

What a mess she had gotten herself into. Never did she think that a day would come when she would be playing hide and seek with Kuchiki Byakuya. If it was a battle of speed, he would outrun her. But for stealth, this was a match untested and she prayed that she would prove the more skilled.

She senses more than sees the movement to her right and she froze. She could smell cherry blossoms. He was near, but why couldn't she sense where he was? A light wind blew past her again and she whipped her head around her, squinting for any sign in the darkness.

_Where could he be? What is he planning? Surely, he is not asking for a confession!_

A sniff in the air and she could now smell the cottony memory underlying his cherry blossom scent. He was getting closer and closer. Still she could not find him!

She was trapped. If she moved now, he would sense her right away. The best thing she could do was to wait for him to pass by and hope he didn't see her.

15 minutes now.

His scent grew clearer and clearer. It felt like she was falling from a great height and he was the ground rising up to meet her doom.

_If I run, he'll come after me and we'll just be starting over again. But if he catches me, who knows what questions he'll make me answer? And there were some questions that if I refuse to answer, I could still be giving myself away. Is this the end?_

She closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears in. She thought she could live with the little moments she spent with him in meetings and clubs, catching him staring or accidentally brushing his hand with hers. But of course Byakuya would not be satisfied with just that. He must be so confounded with her. She shook her head, frustrated at herself. How could she do this to him? How could she keep hurting him this way? Retsu didn't want to believe it, but sooner or later he was going to confront her and inevitably not want anything to with her.

Oh stars, if it does come to that, what would she do? _Dear Kami!_

She gasped out loud as a hand grasped her wrist out of nowhere.

"W-what is this?" She couldn't feel any reiatsu from the hand or from the body it belonged to, if there _was _one that connected to this hand. It was too dark to see. She strained her eyes, but the shadows were too deep.

The hand then began to wordlessly pull her gently. She followed as it led her farther down the sturdy branch. There, some weak rays of light had managed to fight their way down from the leafy ceiling. She could now observe her captor. There was in fact a body attached to the hand. It was tall and a thick, black, shiny cape with a hood covered its ominous figure. It looked like death.

"Who are you?"

A spirit of the forest? _The _Death God of all death gods?

The hooded figure titled its head towards her, but she stood her ground. She could not see a face from under the hood, if there even was one to begin with. The sinister figure lifted his free hand towards her but she did not flinch. She instinctively reached for Minazuki's handle.

_No fear._

But instead of harming her, it threw the hood back revealing one very displeased Kuchiki Byakuya. By the strain in his jaw, tautness of the skin around his eyes, she instantly grew aware of how furious he was.

"Impossible! H-how did you—?"

"I take it you're done playing this futile game of yours?"

Retsu knew she had no right, but she became indignant. "We can play this all night and I would have won, too, if you had not cheated by—by wearing this cloak that masks your reiatsu! It's from Urahara san, isn't it? I didn't imagine you would stoop this low."

"I'm not the one who lied."

She inhaled sharply, eyes widening and narrowing dangerously. "I have done no such thing. I have told no lie."

"But you had not told the truth."

Retsu opened her mouth to refute him but instantly clammed it shut. She was bristling. She knew this would happen. Kyōraku _said_ it would happen. Byakuya would find out one way or another. He was bound to. What was it he said? About no disguise being able to conceal love where it exists?

She turned and tried to twist out of his grip but he only held her tighter. She gave up after a few attempts, exasperated.

"You don't have to be like this. We can settle things diplomatically. So please drop my hand."

"Is _that_ how you see this? That it is a case to be settled?" Byakuya said in a menacingly low voice. "And how can you guarantee me that you would not try to escape once I let go?"

_I would not only try, Byakuya dear. I'd succeed._

"Well, as you made it clear, if I flee, you would only come after me and it would start a never ending chase."

Byakuya grew silent but did not free her hand, clearly still deliberating. Retsu closed her eyes and counted to ten, willing herself not to lose patience and convincing herself that he deserved to get some questions answered after everything he'd been through.

_Peace. Patience, Retsu._

"I won't leave. You have my word." Her voice turned soothing and devoid of the tension so evident in her a moment ago. She felt his hand loosen and both of their arms dropped awkwardly by their sides. "Promises have always meant much to you, haven't they?"

"Hm." With a swift, sweeping motion, he took off the enchanted cloak and tossed it over his shoulder. Retsu stared after its billowing figure as it fluttered like a great bat down to the forest floor.

"You shouldn't throw that away. It could be useful in the future," she chastised jokingly. She was amazed at how light she felt inside. It was as if she was tottering in a dream and would wake up any minute now.

"I will get it later," he said, signaling it was the end of that topic.

Unfortunately for him, she was not easily persuaded. "Really? Then why'd you throw it all the way down there? You could have just hung it on this branch—"

"Retsu."

"—and it would have saved you the trouble—what did you say?" she whispered incredulously.

"Retsu." He said, almost mocking but for the tenderness in his eyes.

She shook her head disbelievingly, mouth slightly agape. She became a maelstrom of emotions, spinning uncontrollably and it made her dizzy. She tried to identify regret or shame from hearing him say that but much to her amazement, she couldn't. Only elation, pleasure, and the desire to hear him repeat it. He had said her name and it sounded so beautiful to her ears.

"Yes?" she gasped.

"I did not chase you to discuss about cloaks."

"No, no, of course not."

"I come with questions."

"Yes, I thought so."

"Not just one."

"I suppose that can't be helped."

"Will you answer them?"

"Y.." Retsu's throat felt terribly dry and she couldn't continue her _yes._ She swallowed slowly and nodded instead, resigned to the fact that she would not come out unscathed before the night was through—reputation-wise.

"Truthfully?"

He burned her with a penetrating gaze. In the moonlight, his eyes almost appeared blue. His eyebrows were slanted inwards, signaling no room for foolishness.

"Always!" she whispered, aware of the blush rising up her neck which was thankfully covered by her braid.

He spent a few more seconds just reading her face, looking for something until he nodded ever-so-slightly, seemingly satisfied. He took one cautious step forward, afraid of frightening her. When it was obvious that she was not going to run, he took a few more steps closer. His hand reached up towards the end of her braid and paused. "_May I?"_ he seemed to ask.

Retsu furrowed her brow. Maybe he was more comfortable talking with her when she looked more like the woman who spent time with him drinking tea and such. She nodded at last, though she still did not fully understand. She could no longer meet his eyes. He was so close, she could feel his warmth on her as if it was a tangible thing.

His hand slowly picked at the end her ribbon and tugged at it determinedly. As it gave way, she let out a breath she did not realize she was holding.

Peering up hesitantly, she saw the sweetest expression on his face. It was not because he was smiling. He wasn't. His straight nose was still high up in the air, proud and strong. But his eyes, Kami, his eyes were the purest marbles of silver and blue, like a magnificent winter pond. It divulged to her stories that he could never have articulated with words.

This. This was why he captured her heart the day she met his six-year-old self.

She shivered before she could stop herself, and Byakuya immediately noticed. Before a protest could be uttered, his scarf was around her, still warm from his body heat. The gorgeous cloth kissed her skin with luxurious smoothness.

"You shouldn't have."

"No, it suits you."

He did not say it was because she was cold or that she needed it.

"Thank you."

"Look at me."

_How can I not?_ When his eyes lock her in, it pulls her under. There is no escape but to drown in those freezing depths. And with each passing second, she could feel herself breaking, her resolve cracking under the surface with the fragility of an eggshell. It was not long now before she'd lose all sensibility and do something… improper.

"Retsu." He said her name again. His face leaned down towards her and he was close enough for her to see the dark fringes of his long, dark lashes. "You had made me promise… I have not come to you on my own volition since then until tonight."

She nodded, speechless.

"Did you do this because my… absence was what you needed or because there was something else that you needed to do?"

Retsu wanted to shrink and disappear. Her hair was so dark, she would blend in the shadows without much effort. But she remained where she was for she knew he would grab her if she made the slightest movement. "I guess it was a little of both…"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, obviously unsatisfied with her answer.

"I needed to do something but I couldn't do it when you were always… with me," she started softly, meanings becoming difficult to translate into words. It was still a vague explanation, but Byakuya continued again.

"And did you achieve what you have set out for yourself to do?"

Retsu's jaw tightened and her lips thinned as she shook her head regretfully. "No, I couldn't."

There were whispering now.

"Why couldn't you?"

"It-it wasn't meant to be." She tried to smile but it came out as a grimace. "I mean, how could I? No, not in a hundred years."

His warm dry hands cradled the sides of her head. One hand started combing her hair in slow, short movements. She did not realize how soothing such a gesture would be for her nerves. She was used to doing that to others, most especially to him, not the other way around. But she did not question his actions, no matter how unusual it was for him to physically comfort her.

"It is over then." He peered down at her, glowing with optimism and it broke her heart to have to crush that hope in his voice. But she had to make sure they were on the same page.

"What is?"

"My promise."

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that…"

"But you said so yourself," he argued, unwilling to be defeated. "This… feat you need to accomplish cannot be done."

"Not in a hundred years," she said weakly.

Byakuya drew away so quickly, he caused a breeze which whipped coldly against her face, displacing some strands of her raven hair. The hard edge appeared in his jaw again. His eyes grew dark and his bangs fell over his face ominously. Her fingers itched to reach and brush his hair out of his eyes, but now was not the time. She doubted there would ever come an appropriate time.

"You ask me for a hundred years?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm not asking for anything, just that we can no longer be…" her voice trailed off, once again, at a loss. _No longer be _what_? "…_as we had been before," she finished, using the words he had used in the past.

It was the subtlest of movements but she swore she saw his shoulders droop a little.

"How are you so certain you will fulfill this deed, even after a hundred years have passed?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I'm not."

"Then stop being so stubborn."

"I am not being stubborn!" she denied profusely, though as she said it, it sounded false, even in her ears. She ignored it. "If you only knew—"

"But I do not," he cut in, harsh with a matching severe countenance.

"No. You don't. And if you know what's best for the both of us, you will not pry."

"What's best for us or what's best for yourself?"

Her fury flared, hot red and unpredictable. Her hand was in the air before it registered in her mind. But Byakuya was quicker and had caught it before she could cause damage to his cheek.

"Let go."

"I will. Once you tell me."

"Are you seriously doing this?"

"You know me well enough. I do not joke. Not at a time like this."

She shook her head vigorously, her outrage dying as quickly as it was born. Panic now took its place. "No, I know, I really do. But _please _trust me when I say you don't want to know."

"I would not have asked if I didn't," he said quietly, but there was a hard determined tint to it. There was also something in his stance that she did not notice before. It was barely there and she almost missed it.

He was insecure.

What for? Because he was afraid of whatever it was she would say? That it would be because of him that she pleaded as much as ordered him to stay away from her?

_He is afraid as much as I am._

For some reason, that wracked her with guilt more effectively than all his previous accusations. She hung her head and a misbehaving tear fought its way down her cheek. "It will destroy us. I know it will. You will never look at me the same way," she whispered to the ground, a last bout of effort in their battle of wills.

"I've spent every night for these past months _stripped _of any kind of peace. Even sleep. If I will have a hundred more years of it, the least I could ask for is a good reason for my suffering." His words spoke of resentment, but his tone was almost raw, beseeching.

"You would wait a whole century…?"

_For me?_

"A day of joy will erase a century of pain," he said. _With you,_ his hand squeezed hers. "I will wait much longer, if that is what you require."

More tears escaped her but the words remained stuck in her throat.

An elegant finger lifted her chin up by its curve and brushed her tears away. She could no longer restrain herself.

She threw her arms around him and pulled him down to meet her lips.

The kiss was brief and chaste, but the fervor of emotions behind it could not be put to words. Byakuya had instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist in a protective gesture, and this surprised her as much as thrilled her. The solidity of his chest, the quiet power pulsing in his arms, the softness of his lips, she took in everything yet could not take in enough. She felt in that short moment that maybe they had a chance to be together. That she was safe from everything, as long as she was in his arms.

When she pulled away, Byakuya loosened his hold but did not fully let go.

"You kissed me," he whispered, eyes alert and careful. She could feel his sweet, warm breath on her face.

"I wanted to," she said, for once, being completely honest. She was happy, lightheaded, but already, the blackness of sorrow was closing in again.

And then, the question came.

"_Do you love me?"_

Love could mean differently, but she understood what exactly he had meant. Retsu studied his face as if she was memorizing all his features like this was the last time she would get the chance to be this close. But the corners of her mouth turned down. Something was strange. The knit in his brow that had been evident the entire evening was missing. The jaw was still hinged too tight but it was not because of vexation, anger, injury or even disappointment. It revealed another feeling.

_What was it?_

A light went off in her brain with sudden blinding clarity.

It was _expectation._

She raised a trembling finger to accuse him. "You know!" she sputtered, her mind still numb from shock.

His demeanor did not change but he did not say anything. He became like a statue, the anticipation frozen on his face.

She had expected him to be shocked, disgusted, confused, appalled, but not this!

"Did you know all along? All this time you were asking for a reason when you already had it! Did you expect me to say it from my own mouth?"

She grabbed his arms and broke out of them. He offered little resistance.

"I would be too presumptuous if I would say so," he said, his voice oddly calm compared to the tremors she could hear in hers.

She gritted her teeth lest she say anything more foolish. But her tongue had a mind of its own. "So you did come all the way just to hear me say it."

She glared at him with fire in her veins, but he stood his ground, still waiting and unafraid.

"Fine. I am in love with you." She tried to say it as flatly and as flippantly as she could but failed miserably. Her voice even hitched at the end.

His face turned irrevocably unreadable.

A dam burst in her and the words she had previously had difficulty saying came pouring down in torrents. "I wasn't aware of it myself. I thought it was something stupid, like a simple crush or an unpleasant medley of hormones. So I tried to stay away from you. But you wouldn't let me, so I had to do something more drastic. And with everything that had happened, Rukia's almost execution, Aizen's betrayal, your near death, my past uncovered; this year has been a whirlwind of groundbreaking events. I guess my heart… just couldn't handle it? I realized how… how brilliant your soul truly is and I just…" she trailed off, his silence was choking her.

_Please say something._

She turned away from him and continued. She now had officially nothing to lose. "So that night on my porch, I made you swear to me to leave me alone. I wanted to get rid of it, this feeling. I didn't want it to interfere with our relationship. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, one that I greatly _regret. _I truly thought it would solve my problem, that if I stayed away from you, the… feelings would go away, too. But they didn't. In fact, they got worse. I know it was unfair for you, you hadn't done anything. You were just _you. _It's not your fault I… that I… fell.

"On that morning after the captains' meeting when we met again after months of silence, I wanted to tell you. Everything. But I couldn't. I mean how could I, Byakuya? I took one look at you, _just one,_ and all those months of our separation just flew right out the window. Right then, I had declared for myself a lifetime of misery and heartache.

"But then, suddenly, you wanted to continue our Calligraphy Club. I was hesitant at first but the pull of being with you was too great that I couldn't say no. And what thrilled me was when you would glance my way," she shook her head with a sad, sad smile. "I thought, maybe, just maybe we could make it so we'd still be friends. But I guess that's silly. Of course you'd still look for an explanation for my recent behavior."

He still had not said a word. Not a grunt, a shrug or even a nod.

"So you understand now, right? Why I have been avoiding you?"

She turned again to look him in the eye. "What I did," she stressed each word. "was an _insult _to our relationship. And I could not punish you by forcing upon you my feelings when I know you could not return them."

She had hoped, in one thin slice of her heart, that he'd refute her. He didn't. But the crease in his brow appeared again. At last, a reaction.

"And I realize now that if ever we did try to continue as friends, I would not have taken it. I will go mad if I would only be as your friend and live every day of my life knowing that that is the closest way I can be with you. I would be dying on the inside. No, I definitely wouldn't have handled that. And you would have spent your time with me under the pretense of filial love. I cannot deceive you that way."

"Why not? You already have." His first words after her monologue and he was already denouncing her. "Didn't you swear to me that this _problem _of yours didn't have anything to do with me?"

"I said it wasn't your fault."

"That's not how I remember it."

"Well, that's not how I meant it!"

They stared each other down, conveying unspoken sentences through their eyes.

"Regardless of what you had said and how you had meant it, I have one last question," he said at last, freezing each word with a crisp sense of finality.

"And what is that?" She had never been more fearful that entire night than in that one moment.

"If I had not forced an explanation out of you, you would have never willingly done so, would you? You would have left in me in the dark. I would forever be in turmoil because I believed you did not trust me enough for you to tell the truth. And you would have done _nothing._"

"You know that wasn't my intention. If it was a matter of trust, I'd have given you my life!" She felt powerless, foreseeing this was a battle she had little chance of winning.

"You've made it clear that you had good intentions. Regrettably, good intentions mean so little in the face of poor decisions." He was immoveable and already, a metaphoric wall was building up between them, brick by awful brick. "Your answer?"

"I-I don't know… How could I have known you felt that way?"

"Thank you for answering honestly—"

"Wait! But you know _now, _so what does it matter?"

He shot her a look that chilled her to the bone. "It's a principal of honesty and integrity." His eyes declared the rest. _And I have just found out, Unohana Retsu, that I cannot trust you._ With that, he pushed off the branch, but not before she had managed to grab the hem of his coat.

"What about your scarf?" _Don't leave me._

"Keep it." _It's now tainted._

He extricated himself from her grip and abandoned her to her own mistakes.

It was now happening. She began to shudder uncontrollably.

_He left me._

They would not see each other again until the eve of the Winter War.

_End of Chapter_

Some important notes/reminders:

1. Kyōraku did not _exactly _know what Byakuya had asked him about the reason why Retsu made him promise to stay away from her. He just assumed he did and coincidentally, he was correct.

2. I've skipped a lot of stuff from the actual Bleach timeline, as I'm sure you've noticed, and will continue to do so. I only want to include scenes relevant to Byakuya and Retsu because that's what you're all interested in, right? Who cares about anything else? Teehee

3. This is longest chapter I've ever written. It also has a kissing scene! omg. Tell me how you found it and leave a review!


	16. Chapter 15

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 15

"Ginrei-sama."

The former Head of the noble Kuchiki Clan, the richest of all Noble Houses in Soul Society, did not turn to the bowed servant at the doorway of his retirement home. He did not sigh, nor did he speak. He had expected the messenger to arrive. Trouble was brewing in the main Kuchiki manor, and who knew the present head better than his grandfather himself?

"Byakuya-sama has not come out of his rooms for three days now. We are starting to get worried, Ginrei-sama. But he will converse with no one," continued the servant, his voice low and his face pale in a nervous fit, as if he was committing an offense to his master just by saying those words. But concern for Byakuya seemed to overrule all other fears. "No one has seen him come out, even to eat in those three days. We believe he is unwell, and the battle is so close—"

"Enough," Ginrei finally said, breaking off the servant's words before the poor fellow could continue or inadvertently disrespect his master.

"Forgive me, Ginrei-sama," came the nameless servant's swift apology.

"You may go."

"Hai, Ginrei-sama."

As silently as the servant had arrived, he disappeared through the thin woods separating his retirement home from the main house. Not even an outline could be seen walking through the smooth narrow road slicing through the woods.

He picked up the tiny cup of jasmine tea and brought it to his lips, the effigy of serenity and control. No matter how hard his grandson tried, that rash, impetuous nature of his could not be completely subdued. He did not know where that explosive personality of his came from—certainly not from him, nor from Sōjun, Byakuya's father. The bad genes must come from his earlier ancestors or on his mother side, which was highly doubtful since Youko, his daughter-in-law, did not seem the brash type.

Youko had been the best daughter-in-law a parent could ever ask for. She had been the light in Sōjun's life, with her cheerful spirit which did not diminish one bit upon entering the Kuchiki family—a feat in itself considering all the restraints, rules and regulations that were immediately bombarded against her. Her sunny character was definitely a blessing for Sōjun and their son.

Sometimes, he regretted that Byakuya had not inherited Youko's easy smile and carefree nature. Instead, he had earned Sōjun's disposition of being wary of every person he met, whose smile was relinquished with great reluctance and whose trust was hard-won. A great shame it was as well, for father and son had been graced with the beautiful features of Ginrei's long-deceased wife whose eyes and smile could light up the entire city.

His wife.

How could he have forgotten the legendary stubbornness of his wife? The woman who drove him to the brink of insanity and brought him back with barely a smile on her perfect face? _That _must be where Byakuya got his impertinent streak. He made a promise to himself that the next time he met his love on the other side of this life, he would scold her for sullying—beautifying—the Kuchiki line with her genes.

_At least he has mellowed down greatly now_, Ginrei thought, his mind already moving back to Byakuya. He did not dwell long on thoughts of his wife. He had no care for Byakuya's unhealthy obsession of wallowing in morbid thoughts of those already dead.

He must admit that the boy, though a prodigy in his own right, was... strange, bordering on peculiar. He winced inwardly, remembering the rage and angry outbursts that characterized Byakuya's childhood. He was fond of the boy, though, even when he was in his prepubescent years and impossible to control. For no matter what he did to soil the cool, collected dignity that comes with the Kuchiki name, he was his only grandson, and he loved him all the more for his stubbornness. He convinced himself that it had nothing to do with pity—owing to the vicious fact that Byakuya had lost his parents before he could even walk.

Neither riches nor purity in blood could save families from tragedies. Where had he heard that saying before?

Ginrei was the only father figure in his life, and he had tried his hardest to give the boy a good education and teach him proper etiquette. The rest he owed to one healer, who gave Byakuya the necessary love and physical affection that he himself could not provide.

When he stepped down as Head of the family, Ginrei believed he left the clan in good hands. Occasionally, a shadow of doubt would pass over him like a great vulture, whenever Byakuya chose to disobey his elders and advisers. But it was always fleeting. If Byakuya could fight for what he loved, then he was sure to keep the clan alive and prosperous. Every one born into the Kuchiki family inherits the same pride that ran in their ancestors' veins. No one was as prideful as his grandson.

So whenever an issue rose up in Seireitei that demanded the Kuchiki House's attentions, he did not interfere, for they were Byakuya's responsibility now. To meddle in the affairs of the present Head would be a direct slight to Byakuya's authority. That was why he had guaranteed the clan's security before he resigned. Because once he did, there was no turning back.

And Ginrei Kuchiki had no intention of reassuming his position again now that he was retired. So it was of his deepest interest and advantage that Byakuya remain the Head until he has raised an heir of his own. For as charming as Rukia, his adopted granddaughter, was, the elders would not accept her as a suitable candidate for the next clan leader.

_Kami help us if they should seek whether Kōga had any offspring to appoint as the next Head._

For nothing, not even a war could revoke the resignation of a Kuchiki Head except the death of the present Head.

He did not expect that war should come to Soul Society during Byakuya's reign of the Kuchiki clan. He had predicted a more or less peaceful era during Byakuya's regime, at least until he, Ginrei, breathed his last. But that is the nature of warfare, completely unpredictable and a waste of time and resources. Maybe the heavens bestowed Byakuya his great ability, which was prophesied to be one of the greatest in all the generations of the Kuchiki line, to prepare him for a time of conflict as large as this.

What he couldn't understand though was why his heir was having sudden terrible mood swings, refusing to eat at the right times, falling asleep from sheer exhaustion in the most inconvenient places—like that reckless time his servant found him unconscious on the porch, _what was he thinking?—_or implementing all sorts of unbelievable excuses to miss a biweekly captains' meeting or those ridiculous extracurricular club meetings Genryūsai kept insisting on maintaining.

From what he gathered from the servants' gossiping was that this peculiar behaviour of Byakuya had been going on for quite some time now—since Aizen's betrayal, a year ago, if he was not mistaken. When he was first informed about it by one of his loyal... well, spies were too negative a word. But that was what they ultimately were: eyes for him to monitor the goings-on in the main Kuchiki Manor. He had given Byakuya full authority and responsibility over the household, but that didn't mean he was letting Byakuya take the reins completely unsupervised. He had said and promised to himself that he would never interfere. He was bent on staying true to his word, as is Kuchiki tradition.

However, as news about Byakuya's late night wanderings and mysterious excursions became more and more frequent, he knew that as his grandfather, it was his duty to offer what help he could.

He got up and put away his expensive china tea set. Only for love of family would he ever allow something to disturb his afternoon tea. Byakuya should be thanking his stars every single day for the rest of his existence for the huge sacrifice Ginrei was willing to make for him.

Ginrei stepped onto the narrow dirt path that was the only clear way out of his home, but he wasn't heading to the main house. No, he definitely had no plans on meeting his grandson that day. There was someone else he had in mind that in decades past had always succeeded in placating Byakuya's tempestuous spirit with mere soft words and a soothing smile.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Absolutely not, Ginrei-san."

It was unnerving to see the previous 6th Division captain, her old friend, without his captain's haori or his trademark scarf. But, she noted, he still kept the sophisticated black fingerless gloves. Time had not been kind to him as it had been for Retsu, for his face seemed older though his eyes appeared all the more intelligent. The creases that lined his face were deeper now and his moustache was longer than she had ever seen it. He looked every bit like the sages of old. But despite the new added signs of age, Ginrei still stood tall and proud; his posture was perfect and his diction still clear. Retsu could still recall his face when he first joined the Gotei, succeeding his great grandfather. His features were unlike Byakuya's, but he also had been quite handsome back then.

_His time will come soon._

She knew this in her heart and felt a small pang of sorrow. Ginrei had always been a good companion and did not resent—nay, even encouraged—her aid to raise his only grandson. It was unbelievable really how things turned out. If someone went back in time to tell her she'd be intertwined with the haughty noble house of the Kuchiki, she'd have scoffed at the very idea. Yet that was where she found herself. Perhaps she shouldn't have befriended Ginrei all those eons back, and then maybe she wouldn't have gotten so involved with that vexing grandchild of his.

What would Ginrei think if he were to uncover the truth, why Byakuya was acting this way?

That they had fought?

All because she _loves _him.

She surreptitiously hid her face from the searching eyes of her ex-colleague. The pain was still too raw, the wound still too fresh for her to hide behind the bandages of casual apathy. She would never get used to the oppressive feeling that smothers her every time she remembered _that night, _which was literally every idle moment of her day. It was like someone would pluck out her heart and start squeezing the life out of her. A thick black substance would start filling her lungs, rendering her breathless in a completely negative way.

But like all other catastrophes in her life, she buried it 10 yards deep and strove to forget it.

One day, she vowed, she will be able to see Byakuya walk down a busy street, and her heart would no longer leap, her stomach won't summersault and her breathing will not hitch.

But until then, she had to remain circumspect, lest her misfortune becomes common knowledge for all of Seireitei. One unconscious look of yearning would be easily identified by the vigilant eyes that abounded the Gotei. Scandals are always disparaged by the Shinigami society—with no mercy. It was their _culture._ However, with the havoc Aizen had wreaked, the growing awareness of unique individuals such as Kurosaki Ichigo, and the appointment of the new Central 46 councillors, one cannot deny that the times were changing. But it is still a slow process, and many of the elders still adhere to their strict, conservative ideals.

And if there was anyone who denounced acts of social impropriety more severely than others, it would be the Noble Houses—the very institutions who kept the standard that, for thousands upon thousands of years, people have mindlessly followed. Is not Shihoin Yoruichi a proof of this, of how her noble family had easily ostracized their Head without a second thought?

Byakuya, though, seemed to have an immunity of sorts against this. He had married a pauper, declared a sister out of a commoner, and almost executed the very sister he had adopted. And here he was now, apparently sulking in his quarters, refusing to engage in any form of social interaction, and acting like the perfect recluse. Pretty soon, word will break out, and the divisions will start to gossip. No one would or _could _criticize him, though, save for a few. He was _the_ Kuchiki Byakuya, the stuff of legends and heroes fathers told their children at night.

Retsu, on the other hand, had a flawless reputation. She was the Gotei's symbol of gentility and poise. She was constant and devoted to the Gotei, leading with the perfect combination of aloofness and sympathy. Yet if someone were to know that she, the most ideal woman and one of the most desired in the Gotei, had been slighted by a man, dear Kami, she'd never hear the end of it.

_Slighted._The word felt malodorous even in her own mind.

Nevertheless, Ginrei would not be thrilled with her if he found out she had fallen in love with the child she had took part in raising. Could it be possible for him to appeal to the Central 46 to publicly execute her for an indecent act which would still undeniably be very insignificant and petty? If indeed falling in love with a man younger than you by little less over a thousand years counted as "indecent."

The thought made her laugh.

Ginrei would rather endure physical pain than be involved in an act that would put the Kuchiki name in the spotlight. He would rather hire a trained assassin to finish the job for him, but he'd have a difficult time finding one skilled enough to kill her.

"Have you tried talking to him, Retsu-san?" he asked, as if he hadn't just heard her refuse for the second time now.

"No," she grudgingly replied.

"Then please do."

"But, Ginrei-san, if he would listen to anyone at all, it would be you."

"I am certain he does not need harsh words, which I will most assuredly provide, given his deviant behaviour."

"I tell you, he will not see me. General Yamamoto would have more right to scold him. He had not attended the captain's meeting yesterday."

"Yes, so I've heard. He sent his lieutenant in his stead, I believe?"

"Exactly, which is inexcusable. He is balancing on the tip of a knife. The war is only two days away. If this persists, Ginrei-san, he will be on the verge of suspension. I don't think that would be anywhere near _your _priority list, now would it?"

"And that is why I am seeking your assistance in this. I am a prideful person, Retsu-san, do not make me ask a third time."

"Yes, I can smell your insides burning every second from this degradation you have to endure."

"Careful, Retsu-san. For a moment there, I'd have thought you were enjoying my suffering."

Retsu blinked and a melancholic laugh escaped her lungs. The irony of it all was too much: that telling the truth would have been more effective in keeping Byakuya away than any plan she had devised. And not only that. She found it not just slightly ridiculous that Byakuya should be suffering just as much as she was. He certainly was not making any effort to conceal it from her. It appeared that maybe he still cared for her. Could it be that he was somehow telling her something?

_What a troublesome child._

She found it hard to admit that if she had been truthful from the very start, then perhaps none of this would have happened. But it will not make any difference now. A harsh word uttered can never be unspoken.

Ginrei was not quite as amused, being oblivious to the exasperating and slightly humorous situation Retsu found herself in. She decided to cut him some slack. "Ginrei-san, this attitude of _Kuchiki-taichou,"_she called Byakuya by his title, purposely avoiding his first name. Fortunately, Ginrei paid it no mind. "It doesn't make sense to me at all."

And it really did not. Byakuya had always had an incredibly high threshold for pain: external, internal, physical or emotional. He could take a direct chest wound in battle without blinking. He could walk with several broken ribs, fractured bones and dislocated joints without even flinching. He watched his own wife grow weaker and weaker day after hopeless day without shedding a tear up until the day she passed away. It was completely absurd that he would display such weakness _after_ _he rejected_ _her_.

"And it grieves me to see him this way just as much as it confounds you. But I know for a fact that he _does not want _to see me." Her chest suddenly felt hollow and heavy at the same time.

Ginrei paused for a moment, dissecting her words with merciless scrutiny. "Then you know why he is acting like a petty child?"

"It is a personal matter." _Which I will not discuss with you._

"I see."

Ginrei continued to analyse her with an apathetic face. At last, he spoke again.

"You quarrelled?"

"Perhaps."

"Whose fault was it?"

"Both of ours."

"Then you had done something to upset him."

"Don't you put words into my mouth, Kuchiki Ginrei. If I had done anything to wrong him, it was not deliberate."

"So you admit that you wounded him."

"What? I didn't—Oh for heavens' sake, Ginrei, stop pestering me about it. We fought, yes, and I have not seen him ever since."

Ginrei remained immoveable. Retsu surmised that they were going to have a long, circular conversation before he'd let her go.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ginrei went home thoroughly discontented. Retsu was adamant. Nothing would make her talk, and no amount of rewards or threats could dissuade her. Not that he had expected bribery to work on her. Retsu was a mysterious woman who would always carry her secrets down to the grave. Hikifune-taichou was the only person whom she held in complete confidence. The only people who had succeeded in breaking in that impenetrable chest of hers would most likely be that lieutenant of hers or Byakuya himself.

Whatever the fight was about, it was serious if both captains were acting this way, although Retsu was doing an infinitely better job at concealing her feelings than how Byakuya was dealing with his. She almost did a perfect job, too. If she had not averted her gaze at that one point in their conversation, he would not realize just how much she was hurting inside.

Ginrei refrained from sighing as he stepped along the tree-lined walkway, the red sun casting striped shadows on the path. He was halfway through the sparse woodland when he felt a familiar reiatsu churning with disquiet inside his home.

He had a visitor. What a coincidence.

The guest evidently recognized Ginrei's own reiatsu approaching and had rushed out to meet him.

"Jii-sama, you're home."

"Yes, Byakuya. Wait for me to enter my home, for goodness' sake. I am no longer as resilient as I was in your youth, and I urgently need my zabuton or else my knees shall truly give way."

Byakuya looked at his grandfather with scepticism. Ginrei stood strong and sturdy, almost majestic in the dying light. But old habits die hard, and he found himself still trying desperately to please his grandfather. "Yes, jii-sama. I shall get it right away."

Ginrei had a knack of converting Byakuya from a haughty, disdainful, full-grown man into a fairly compliant, though restless, 10-year-old. The corners of his mouth twitched into a small smirk which he immediately wiped off. He really had a tender spot for that boy as he had already forgotten to be angry with his behaviour.

_No matter how old Byakuya is, he will always be that little boy in my eyes._

When the two Kuchikis had sat down and made themselves comfortable on opposite sides of the low table in Ginrei's sitting room, Ginrei surveyed Byakuya for any indications of inner distress. At the moment, Byakuya was pouring the both of them some tea which he had brewed in advance while he had been waiting. He was out of his Shinigami uniform and without his kenseikan, which he rarely did after his promotion as captain of the 6th Division. The brow on his forehead was knitted into a troubling V, and his lips were pressed tightly as if he were trying to restrain himself from blurting something out. There were faint shadows beneath his eyes. For a moment, Ginrei worried that he had not slept for his entire three-day seclusion.

His hand reached under the low table and retrieved a tiny bell. He rang it a couple of times, its high-pitched sound cutting through the silence, and immediately a servant appeared.

"Bring us a food basket."

A minute later, a wooden basket carrying different types of bread was placed on the table. All the lamps were lit. The sun had gone down now, but dinner would not be served for another hour. Ginrei pushed the basket forward. "You should eat. I suppose you must be famished by now."

Byakuya widened his eyes in surprise. He adopted an almost sheepish look, but did not ask how Ginrei found out that he had locked himself for three days and a half. The Kuchiki estate may be large, but there were not many places one could hide in. Of course his grandfather also had eyes in the main house that would run to him if there was any trouble.

"Eat," Ginrei repeated. For an instant, a rebellious glint flashed inside Byakuya's eyes. It quickly passed, and he reached out and took a bean-filled bun. Stoically, he ate in silence. Ginrei, however, appeared unaffected by Byakuya's darkening mood.

After he had finished eating, Byakuya drained his cup. He was never one to beat around bushes, yet somehow he could not bring himself to ask his grandfather the questions that were twisting him up inside.

Ginrei continued to sip his tea pensively, lacking Byakuya's impatience. By the time Ginrei had finished, Byakuya still had not spoken. Ginrei did not expect his grandson to start the conversation he must be itching to have, though he could practically sense him mentally squirming in his seat.

"I expect you shall resume your captain duties on the morrow?" It was more of a statement than an actual question.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "You will not ask me what happened when I…?"

"If you mean to say when you had locked yourself up, then no, I will not. I am too old to be burdened with the troubles of your generation," Ginrei replied with what was not necessarily the truth. He simply did not want to ask Byakuya because he wanted him to confess on his own terms. If Byakuya wanted his help, he would come to him. If he did not, then Ginrei had to find other means to support him, though he'd never tell his grandson that. Byakuya was far too proud to accept unwanted assistance. That was why with Retsu, he had no qualms about seeking for aid or answers.

"Then you already know?"

"No, I don't."

Byakuya grew confused and frustrated. "So she did not tell you…"

Ginrei might have imagined it, but he heard Byakuya's voice falter at the word _she_. He understood precisely who _she _was, which meant that Byakuya knew where exactly Ginrei had gone to. But Ginrei had already expected that. And he accurately predicted that his "spontaneous" social call to the healer would be enough to rouse Byakuya's interest and curiosity.

It was no secret to Ginrei. Since the very first time Byakuya had met the healer on his 6th birthday, he was irrevocably smitten with her. He could still recall that very night, after all the guests had left, and he had dropped by Byakuya's room to check up on him. It was to his dismay that he discovered the boy bouncing around with boundless energy, eyes shining and grinning from ear to ear. He spent nearly half an hour answering the multitude of questions that just kept pouring out of Byakuya's inquisitive mouth.

_What's her favourite colour? What kind of food does she like? Do you think she likes Western sweets? Do you think she'll like me even more if I made her a cake? Everyone likes cake, right, jii-sama? Do a lot of people like her? Does she have a family? Where are they? If she doesn't have one, can she be part of ours?_

There was also this one incident when Shihoin Yoruichi, the boy's mentor, teased him one day for pestering them so much about the 4th Division captain. She threatened to tell Retsu how annoying he was and that once she found out the truth, he'd drive her away for good. They could not get him to speak for _days, _not until they convinced Retsu to come over and reassure the child of her devotion.

Yes, it was very much evident to Ginrei how deeply his grandson loves Unohana Retsu. Whether Retsu was aware of this or not, he was not certain. Indeed, he was not even sure if Byakuya knew this himself. Could there even be a more oblivious couple than these two?

Ginrei shook his head softly in disapproval. When he had been young, he was invited to a gala held in honour of one of the lesser Noble Houses. One look at the beautiful, raven-haired woman dancing in the middle of the crowded courtyard, a mischievous smirk on her flawless face, he knew, without a single trace of doubt, this was the woman who would be his wife. But maybe love was so much simpler in those days because he could not, for the life of him, comprehend how Byakuya and Retsu could spend all those years together and not be aware of the love they shared. One notable feature of a Gotei 13 captain is being exceptionally perceptive. But what good is that title to them if they were so blind to matters that concerned their own personal lives?

"No, she did not and would not say a word. Although I had managed to gather that you two had a falling out?"

Byakuya turned away to stare out into the window overlooking the dark trees. The lights from the main house could be seen shining quietly on the far side of the thin woods like distant stars. In one blink, he was now wearing the Kuchiki mask of indifference. But Ginrei recognized it straightaway—he was the one who taught him that in the first place—and could discern the emotions behind it without difficulty. But his eyes still widened in consternation, unprepared for what he read.

Was that regret written on Byakuya's face?

For all his life, Byakuya was _never _remorseful. During his childhood, he never took back a single word he said, no matter how foolish or insolent it was. He called his mentor a demon cat. Whenever Ginrei took him to visit the Divisions, he never failed to give unsolicited criticism to officers of the Gotei. He once had an ugly spat with the 13th's deceased lieutenant, Kaien Shiba. Even when Byakuya had grown, matured, and been promoted as captain, the two never resolved their conflict until Kaien's untimely death.

Only once did Byakuya exhibit any feelings of repentance. That was when he almost had Rukia, the sister he took in for the fulfilment of a promise, executed.

_Rukia who was his granddaughter._

Even after five decades, the title felt alien and still had not stuck in his mind.

"Byakuya," Ginrei cut through the spell that seemed to take hold of his grandson. "Your fight, whether it is a senseless one or a grievous one, is between the both of you. But you are a captain and head of this family. You can no longer circumvent your way out of your responsibilities."

Ginrei stared hard at the younger man who did not take his eyes of the glowing lights of the main house. "You know how I hate to reprimand you like this. And I doubt you find this experience any more pleasant than I do."

Ginrei had never been one for soft, gentle words. But it did not mean he loved Byakuya any less.

"You should return now. The servants will be looking for you soon." They both knew that was false. All the servants would have known by now that their master had broken out of his stupor. And even more shocking was that he was visiting Ginrei's retirement home, for this was just not something that was done, not if there was no matter of grave importance.

Without a word, Byakuya stood up and made for the open doorway. He paused and without turning, he asked in a small voice. "How is she?"

_Why not ask her yourself? _"She's not the jolliest person in Seireitei at the moment."

Byakuya nodded and a few contracted muscles on his shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly. He swiveled back to face his grandfather. For a brief moment, a wild thought entered Ginrei's head and he thought Byakuya was going to smile.

"Thank you for your company jii-sama. It has been too long since we last talked."

If Ginrei had been any other grandparent, he would have smiled. But being who he was, he merely called out before Byakuya could shunpo away. "Be ever watchful, Byakuya. Protect your honor."

Byakuya raised one gloveless hand in farewell before a breeze swept past them and bore him away.

_And be careful, my grandson. You and Rukia, both._

_End of Chapter._

_Notes:_

_Sōjun – Byakuya's father_

_Youko – meaning sun child; Byakuya's mother (invented__, __courtesy of __h t t p : / / w w w . a b o u t n a m e s . c h / j a p a n e s e . h t m__)_

_Kōga – in a Bleach movie, the exiled son-in-law of Ginrei Kuchiki_

_Zabuton – cushion for sitting_

_Author's Note: Tada! The first chapter I wrote from the pov of Ginrei. I just wanted to delve a little into Byakuya's character when he was still in his childhood. And good news! The next chapter is already halfway done. But the bad news is I kinda got stuck with a massive writer's block. So if you have any ideas, I'm open to them :) Thank you again to all those who reviewed! I take in all your feedback seriously. And oh yes, I almost forgot: please review!_


	17. Chapter 16

Not Just a Mother Figure

CHAPTER 15

Retsu woke up with a start, sweat drops cooling on her heated skin. A pale hand reached up to touch her parted lips, but it felt cold, dry and untouched.

It was the dream again.

There was a hollow feeling in her stomach but she wasn't hungry. She had lost her appetite these last few days. She sat up on her futon and brought her knees up to her chest. Only in the solace of her rooms would she ever risk being caught in such a vulnerable position. She rested her chin on top of her knees and waited for the ache in her chest to subside and the tears to come. But not a drop was shed. She hadn't cried a single tear since the very next morning after that disastrous night.

She sighed as she hugged her knees tighter in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness that was eating her up from the inside. It did her little comfort, but it was the only thing she could do. It was the only way she knew how. She would be damned if she sought the aid of another living soul. This would be an excellent illustration of how she was amazing as a healer and terrible as a patient.

'_If you cannot help yourself, how can you be of service to others?_'

Retsu did not need to turn her head to know that Minazuki had materialized out of her sheath. She wasn't surprised that her sword would visit her, what with the war being so close, only a handful of hours away.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine."

True enough, she had physically never been better. Despite the loss of her appetite, she had been eating religiously, under the watchful eyes of her lieutenant. She had also been sleeping enough with the use of a potent draught. The nightmares were unavoidable, but, in time, they'd disappear, too, the same way her tears had run dry.

"I've never felt healthier," she murmured, still trying to coax her body to uncurl, but her hands were locked together in a death grip, instinctively opposed to come out of the cumquat position she was in. It was a protective reflex, and any pretence of collectiveness she'd put up would not deceive Minazuki anyway.

'_And your heart?'_

"It's _fine. _See, no tears."

They both knew that was a half-hearted lie, but Minazuki also knew better than to delve into more sensitive topics. '_Don't push people away when all they want to do is help you stand up again.'_

Retsu closed her eyes tiredly when she felt a light pressure on her arm. It was Minazuki's tail. She was really a curious creature, her zanpakutou. She could be severe and unforgiving in one instant and warm and consoling the next. That was the nature of her zanpakutou, after all. She patted her tail affectionately.

_I'm sorry, _she thought in her head, and Minazuki heard it as clearly as if it was conceived in her own mind.

'_What for?'_

For the first time in days, Retsu smiled. But it was brief as her face turned serious again.

"Have you seen anything?" she asked the unearthly creature momentarily forgetting her dream and the gaping hole inside her.

Minazuki wordlessly turned her single eye, glowing eerily in the darkness, to face her master. She blinked once and an image instantly appeared in the yellow depths. It seemed to be a tall, slim figure with shoulder-length hair. His face was covered in shadows cast by a bright source of light somewhere behind him, and he held in his hand a blade dripping with red, red, red. It was angled forward as if he had just pierced someone, and the crimson coating his sword was the blood of whoever was unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of that blade. It was a nauseating sight, terrible for what it revealed.

Minazuki blinked a second time, and the vision ended. Though it lasted for less than a second, the man, the sword, the blood remained clear. It fogged up her mind and choked off all other thoughts except that great and terrible picture painted with red, brilliant red.

Silence pervaded.

She did not need to ask Minazuki that it was _her _blood that dripped from that sword, that she was _the_ unfortunate victim.

'_I've never seen a vision as clear as this one.'_

Retsu nodded, still unable to speak.

'_I am absolutely certain that this would be your fate … That is if you still refuse to act hostile in the presence of our enemies…'_

She froze, her body becoming even more rigid as the words of her zanpakutou processed slowly in her mind.

"You don't mean..." she whispered, afraid even of saying the words aloud, fearing that the very act would bring them to life.

'_Yes, I do.' _The rest of Minazuki's words grew distant in her ears as if a large chasm had opened up before them. '_If you want to survive in this war, you will have to wound. The stars have set your path and you can no longer remain unaggressive, or you shall suffer the consequence.'_

"But I can't. You know that!" she cried, veering close to hysterical. "You know I can't use you to attack. That would mean the end of everything…"

'_No. That would only mean the beginning: the key that unlocks my hidden self_.'

_Tairyou No Hakai._

Another overwhelming wave of silence washed over them, suffocating her with the oppression of a potential apocalypse that would prove a greater threat than the current war they were fighting. The outcome would be so destructive that Aizen's mission would pale in comparison.

'_Do you understand now how high the stakes are raised?'_

"Yes," she whispered, her voice shaking but with a growing sense of resolve and resignation. "I know what I must do."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

One hundred and thirty-five minutes have passed since Minazuki had given her the ultimatum. Since then, she had folded up her futon, knowing sleep would not visit her again for the night. She was not keen on taking pills or any draught, even though she knew she had to regain her energy as much as she could. After all, tomorrow, Soul Society goes to war.

_War. _The word loomed over her head like a dark mountain, oppressive and unconquerable.

She breathed one world-weary sigh as the loneliness enveloped her with its cold arms again. In her entire life as a Shinigami, she had not raised her sword in an attack. It was always in defence. Most people attributed this trademark of hers to her own gentle-natured heart. It was a flattering superstition but was not entirely the truth. There was yet another secret to the mysterious woman behind the yonbantai. But this, she had no intention of revealing until the day she dies, for if she did, the captains would lock her up in a cage and take Minazuki away from her and that would be worse than dying.

She stood up abruptly from where she had been quietly sitting on her balcony, with no tea this time—just one large steaming mug of black coffee. She glanced at the clock in her bedroom.

21:45

Still early. She had slept since 6 p.m., which was required of all captains, vice-captains, and a few seated officers that were assigned to the rescue mission to Hueco Mundo. According to orders, she should be in bed right now, but she was restless. There was something nagging at the back of her mind that she could not put off any longer.

_District 1. I need to go to District 1._

There were a few final farewells she needed to make to people she had not seen or spoken to for the last thousand years. She figured if there was a time to visit, it was now.

She went to her closet which was fixed on the wall of her bedroom and slid it open, revealing neat rows of black and white clothing, with an occasional mix of other livelier colours. She rummaged through the orderly stacks, and finally tugged out a sleek, black cloak hidden beneath the white coats of her uniform. It was Urahara's creation which Byakuya had thoughtlessly left behind in the forest, eager as he was to leave her presence. She brought it up to her nose. It smelled faintly of him, but no matter, it would serve its purpose no less. She slipped it on. Now, she needed just one more thing.

She peered through the stacks of black clothing and dug out a soft, silk scarf which was another thing that did not belong to her. Rationalizing that it was well into winter and that it would be colder out in the Districts, she wrapped the scarf delicately around her neck. She could never stop admiring how smooth and pleasant it felt against her skin and how, like the cloak, it still held traces of his cherry blossom scent.

She brought up the hood of her cloak and was washed again with an even more intense wave of his sweet smell. Instead of cringing as she never failed to do now whenever his name was mentioned, she closed her eyes and let his smell waft through her senses, reminiscent of all she had and had lost. She did not know if this was masochism—albeit at the lowest level—but she had finally found beauty in her longing. It was bittersweet, tasting as dark as black chocolate.

With a heartbroken smile, the second time that night—a true record—she zipped out of her apartments and into the dark empty streets of Seireitei.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

District One of Rukongai was a short distance from the main city. It was less than a thirty-minute drive by carriage. But it still took her a good twenty minutes through Shunpo to arrive, including some slight difficulty slipping past the giant guardian Jidanbō of the White Road Gate that faced West Rukongai. She did not want to be seen and have the ever loyal guardian report back to the General. These were tremulous times, and any late night activity would raise the alarm and cause unnecessary suspicion.

The town was asleep when she arrived. Only a few lamps remained lit and not a sensible soul was to be seen out in the streets for fear of the wolves hidden in the dark. Retsu swept the area, in search of the cemetery road.

Finally locating it, she gracefully landed by a crossroad sign near the outskirts of the 1st District. She headed in the direction of the arrow painted with the bleak characters of the word Cemetery. A forest road led to the village graveyard. She walked calmly and purposefully through the dirt pathway and paid no mind to the eerie sounds of the night creatures. A growing chill seeped through her bones and an unsettling feeling settled at the bottom of her spine. The trees, with branches looking knobbly and desolate without its leaves, tower over her. Their malevolent shadows flit over her form as she swiftly passed the treacherous looking path.

_For east or west all woods must fail, s_he quoted inside her head, mustering courage from the wisdom of its poem.

At last, her feet touched cement and the graveyard came into view.

Here, the trees end, providing no cover over the hundreds of gravestones lining the vast plot of land in neat, meticulously straight rows. The sliver of moon in the sky cast a silver sheen over the silent monuments, setting the tone of the graveyard into an even more sombre shade of grey. The small, strange noises of the moving forest behind her died down completely into a nerve-wracking silence. It was as if she had stepped into a vacuum, divorced from the natural dimensions of the world beyond, or a different realm altogether, for even in Soul Society, death was regarded with utmost fear and respect. For where do souls go after they die a second time?

She pulled her hood farther over her head and proceeded down an aisle. She felt colder all of a sudden and was grateful for the protection Byakuya's scarf provided, though it was initially given to her in disdain. She did not dwell on the thought, now that darker matters have presented themselves.

The matter being her imminent death.

Her reality was strangely altered and her priorities realigned now that she was facing her end. Whatever resentment she held against Byakuya was now weakened into a malnourished nub. Only love remained, love unwanted, unrequited, unbelievable that it would still be alive after everything they've gone through, every harsh word exchanged, and through every night spent alone.

But what does it all matter now?

Yes, the cold was biting now, though the skies will not open with snow. One would have to travel farther beyond the first twenty districts to experience frozen precipitation falling in tiny white ice crystals. But that wasn't what she came for.

She raised a slender finger and muttered a brief spell. Instantly, a glowing orb came to life above her head, casting a cold, bluish light against the lifeless stones. She began to read the tombstones.

_Aida._

_Akamatsu._

_Amori…_

It took her another ten minutes to rediscover her family's grave. But when she found it, she still wasn't prepared to face it. The loss of her family engraved in stone swept her in a wave of despair. The strength of a thousand-year sorrow overwhelmed her with a crushing brutality that her knees gave way beneath her.

_Unohana Takahiro._

_Unohana Kumiko._

She kneeled before their monument, eyes never leaving the bold strokes of their names forever inscribed on the grey surface permanent and everlasting.

_My father, mother._

_Do you blame me for the grief I had caused in your hearts for taking away the child you loved? Did you regret harbouring favouritism in your hearts that sparked the sisterly feud in our very homes, the same discord you mistook for normalcy and failed to resolve as was your rightful duty as parents? That if circumstances had been different, we would still be together again, perhaps with families of our own?_

She could go on, loitering down avenues of what ifs and maybes, but then she'd never find the end.

She would not cry, too. Tears were useless, she had learned a long time ago and had to relearn again, just recently. She cannot cry. She felt like a desert, dry and barren, void of life and satisfaction, but not of purpose.

Her eyes rested on the empty container constructed for flowers brought by those who still visited and paid their respects for the departed. It must have remained empty all this time. What must the crypt keeper have thought about the Unohana's? What a lonely family, no one to visit and remember them. She felt a pang of remorse, odd since she was already guilty enough. She rushed back to the woods and was able to savage a handful of frozen wild flowers on the verge of decay, with stems already dry and brittle. They were a miserable looking bunch but it was the best she could come up with on such short notice. She was sure her parents did not mind since they had never received anything until now. She placed the dead flowers inside the built in vase and studied it, greatly displeased. A split second later, she had seized the pitiful bunch and had flung it behind her shoulder. She heard it crash noisily along the row of gravestones behind her, but her mind was already recalling a past memory.

It was Hikifune who had cremated her father when she was too upset to move, to cry or to mourn for him. They had picked his bones together which she knew now lay beneath the sealed stone chest below the great tomb stone. Her mother's bones lay beside him and for that she was glad. At least they were together still, even in death. Their ashes were gone though, carried by the great river that runs through their district. People said it led to the ocean but all her life, she had never seen one in Soul Society.

One thing she most regretted about their family's grave was her sister's bones. When she had… incinerated her sister and the others, their bodies had turned to ash, not even the bones survived the force of her outburst. Now she had nothing to remember her by, not the sword, not her bones, only the memories and the haunting face she saw in the mirror if she squinted just enough and let her vision haze over.

In one small bitter part of her, she realized that Mayumi's ashes must now lie interspersed with the ashes of her husband. Before she could stop it, a scornful laugh escaped her at the thought that her sister should never be free of her husband, her mistakes, and her regret. As soon as the thought arose, she was gripped with shame and self-reproach. She felt horrible for finding humour in the ill fate of her sister, who was related to her by blood.

_It's my fault. I should be the one whose existence must be wiped off from this earth._

So instead she reached for the handle of the small dagger she carried on her right hip. The blue light above her reflected on the sharp edge of the small blade as she poised it over the empty space below her parents' names. With a medical precision, she carved on the surface. Finishing with several bold strokes, she leaned back and admired her work.

_Miwa._

_Mayumi._

Despite her earlier tenacity, a single obstinate tear slid down her chin and fell on the rough pavement. She loved her sister, she realized. After all this time, she knew with the most solid conviction that even in the end, Mayumi had loved her, too. They were sisters after all.

"You were right, 'yumi," she caressed the newly carved characters on the tombstone.

"You said that I was selfish, conceited and spoiled. I remember the way you appeared to me that day. It was just after I had announced that I was breaking my engagement. You looked at me, not with contempt, but with pity which I had thought then was laughable because it was I and always I who pitied you. Your last words I remember clearly more than all the other memories I have of you."

_One day, Miwa. One day, you will finally love a man and be damned because he will not return it._

"How did you know? You said it with so much confidence that even as it sounded so absurd in my ears I paused to regard the seriousness on your face. I never got a chance to ask you again because the next time we met…" She closed her eyes and finally, after centuries, she finally confronted her demons without hiding behind the protective backs of Hikifune and even Byakuya.

"Because the next time we met… I killed you."

A cold breeze rushed down the dark aisles of the graveyard, stirring up dust, ashes, and dead leaves. It reached her family's tomb and churned around it and around her. The edges of her cloak billowed dramatically to the rhythm of the wind. The swirling air shot up into the stars like a small tornado and her hood flew back. Closing her eyes, she breathed the clean scent of earth and let it fill her to the corners of her soul. Finally, she allowed herself to be cleansed from the sins that shackled her all her life. Slowly, she felt the chains falling around her and she was free.

A smile, beautiful in her rebirth settled on her delicate features and a great weight left her chest. She felt like dancing and singing, happiness bubbling up inside her, threatening to burst out with laughter. She could have cartwheeled on the very cobblestoned pathways of the graveyard.

She turned back to her family grave.

"Father, mother… Mayumi."

Her hand traced their names in yearning, but the sadness was not the same.

"I may not know where you have gone, but I pray that when we meet again, you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. Maybe we can even begin anew." Her smile dimmed into a thin, grim line.

"I cannot harm anyone ever again. Mayhap we shall see each other soon."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"RADISH FRIES!"

Isane woke with a start.

_Rats, just another nightmare._

But no one could blame her. There was only less than 6 hours before she, Captain Unohana, and several other chosen captains will head off to the Hollow World.

_Hueco Mundo,_ she corrected herself. She couldn't imagine why anyone would even want to name such a desolate place. She had seen pictures of the never-ending deserts taken by Captain Kurotsuchi's probe. And she would bet one decent pack of tea leaves that the actual place would be ten times more depressing than the images.

Her limbs were getting jittery again, and she paced around her small quarters. Captain Unohana would scold her if she caught her hands trembling on the battlefield. She would be completely useless then. This frightened her even more and only served to further aggravate her current state of agitation.

_What if we meet those Hollows with the broken masks? What if they force us to fight? The General has given us orders to heal the injured, but what if things come to that? I know taichou, she will avoid battle as much as she is able to._

Thinking of her captain was a balm to her poor nerves, despite the negative situations she was just visualizing. As long as she was with her captain, nothing could go wrong. Unohana Retsu was a _goddess. _If some monster did manage to drag her into the fray, she'd defeat them without even unsheathing her zanpakutou.

Isane felt confident of this, though she had never seen Unohana unsheathe her sword for battle since the first day she joined the 4th Division. But by her immense reiatsu, unparalleled by all the captains save the General, Isane was certain her captain was more than capable of fighting any Arrancar Aizen managed to conjure her way.

She sighed in relief, her heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace. _Nothing could go wrong._ She recited this mantra over and over her head. Out of habit, she stepped out of her quarters and into the deserted hallways of the Division Lodgings to have a brief night walk before she went back to sleep. Immediately however, she felt a warning signal resounding loudly in her brain and instinct took over her. A force seemed to push her towards the Captain's quarters and her heart quickened again with a mixture of fear and confusion.

Her knuckles rapped loudly against the thin doors. The thought that she might be disturbing her captain if she was still asleep did not cross her mind. Something was not right.

"Taichou?" she called when there was no answer.

Without a moment's hesitation she tore the door open and a hand appeared before her eyes. Before she could react fast enough, a blinding white light emanated from the hand and she dropped to the floor, unconscious.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The silent captain stared at the prone figure at his feet. He hadn't meant to use a binding spell on the lavender-haired lieutenant. In hindsight, it would have been wiser to have put the girl into a Forced Slumber rather than a Time-Out Drop, but she had caught him off-guard.

He had been waiting impatiently in the sitting room for Retsu to come home, tapping his finger on the low wooden table, when he heard the girl stirring out in the hallways. As luck would have it, the girl felt a mysterious energy coming from her captain's quarters and had gone straight to investigate. One second she was barging into the rooms, expecting to see her captain and the next, she had slumped to the floor, out cold.

Byakuya did not even think of what he was doing until the deed was done. The Time-Out Drop will not wear off in another hour at the least. Retsu might not appreciate it if she were to find her lieutenant in such condition. He must return the girl to her quarters. From Retsu's past stories, Isane often had chronic nightmares. She might just forget what happened or mistake this for a dream.

Carefully carrying the unconscious girl with both arms, Byakuya silently crept down the hallway in search for the lieutenant's quarters. He shifted uncomfortably under Isane's dead weight which must be greater than his own. Isane felt awkward in his arms, being taller and heavier than he was. He could not stop his mind from comparing it to the time he carried Retsu. It was a completely different experience then. With her, it seemed as if they fitted together perfectly like a matching lock and key.

The 4th Division lodges were built similarly with the 6th's and he managed to find Isane's room without much difficulty. Just as he laid her down on the wooden bed, something cold and frightening crept slowly at the back of his neck.

_Damn._

Of all the bad timings, this was the worst_. _A figure was now standing in the previously empty doorway casting a disturbing shadow over the floor. Byakuya felt his insides freeze and the blood rush out of his head. With no small amount of courage, he slowly turned to face the person who caught him red-handed.

Retsu stood there like an agent of death and retribution, cloaked in black. It took him a moment before he recognised that the cloak was his. And what was that around her neck? Was that his…?

All of a sudden, he couldn't breathe.

_She's wearing my scarf._

Retsu's mind, though, was on a different matter.

"What do you think you're doing, _Ku-chi-ki-tai-chou_?"

She spat his name out in syllables, though her voice was just slightly above a whisper. He had never seen her so furious. Her features were as hard as a statue, and her eyes were bright and shiny. Or were those tears? Had she been crying? Where had she foolishly gone off to anyway?

And like a spark, a righteous anger exploded inside Byakuya.

"I could ask you the same question. Where have you been?" he snapped back, his voice rumbling deep like an earthquake.

"I believe I asked you first. I have reason to believe you assaulted my lieutenant!"

"I did it for the greater good."

"For what?"

Byakuya bit back a sarcastic reply. If they didn't lower their voices, they'd soon wake up the entire 4th Division. So without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed her hand, much to her palpable surprise, and led her back up her own quarters.

As soon as they were in her rooms, she snatched her hand back. Her face was glowing with an angry shade of pink. Byakuya wasn't sure if it was from the cold winter air or if it was due to their brief physical contact. He hoped he wasn't wearing the same blush on his cheeks.

"Explain yourself." Retsu said, already down to business.

"_You_'ve been gone for approximately 110 minutes, and you want me to explain?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh so you've been stalking me?"

Byakuya wasn't fazed. "You're avoiding the question."

Retsu paused and abruptly wheeled away. She suddenly found great interest in the patterns made by the moonlight on the windows of her room. "It is not your concern."

Alarm bells started ringing inside Byakuya's mind. Anger switched to worry in one blink.

"Retsu…"

She took in a sharp breath at the sound of her first name but did not turn back. Byakuya feared she would scold him for not using her title, but she remained silent.

"You disappear six hours before we are to leave for Hueco Mundo. Then you come back nearly two hours later." _Wearing my coat and my scarf! _Byakuya wanted to say, but wisely kept to himself.

His reasoning fell on deaf ears, but he was determined not to give up. "I've been waiting here since the minute your reiatsu vanished. It seems that it was not only I who noticed that something was amiss, for your lieutenant burst in here and would have alerted the entire Gotei in search for you if I had not… momentarily incapacitated her."

"Oh yes, that's a brilliant move, Kuchiki-taichou. Putting everything in such a way that you come out as my saviour. And we both know how much you are concerned for my welfare."

Byakuya winced at her blunt accusation and a feeling heavier than guilt settled on his chest like a black curtain. But he trudged on.

"This is war. You cannot just go away and come back whenever and wherever your fancy takes you—especially now when you should be resting."

"I don't see you on _your _bed."

"How can I rest when you suddenly take off and disappear to Kami knows where on a night like this? Tell me, Retsu, because I certainly don't know how."

His voice must have betrayed some intense emotion for the apathetic healer turned to him with suspicious wonder eyes. It was ironic now that the situation was reversed: him almost close to pleading and her remaining indifferent. He swallowed imperceptibly and prayed his voice won't shake.

"Aizen might have abducted you. I would have considered the war lost before it has even begun."

Retsu's gaze was cold and unyielding. "He would not have been able to. But I will not question that any further, for I sense that there is another motive as to why you are here. Am I correct?"

Byakuya nodded. He was extremely disappointed with how their conversation was turning out, yet he did not know how to break through Retsu's defensive wall. So instead, he recounted to her the information he received from Rukia. "Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends have reached Hueco Mundo earlier than expected. Ukitake-taichou has informed the General, and I have already sent my lieutenant and Rukia ahead of us. We may be leaving Soul Society sooner than what has been planned."

"I see. That is why you were troubled that I would not be back in time for our departure."

_I am troubled because our hard-headedness will surely be the death of us, _Byakuya wanted to say but gritted his teeth, knowing that any explanation he had about being anxious primarily for her safety would be met with staunch disbelief. After all, he had as good as _rejected _her that night in the forest. Of course she would be sceptical of any answer that implied he cared for her.

It was more than obvious to his grandfather, his household servants, his lieutenant, officers and even to himself that he still loved her to the deepest corners of his soul. But she would never understand why he left her alone on that sturdy branch.

He had lied to her that night.

He did not abandon her because she had lied to him. He left because he was hurt and ashamed—ashamed that it took her decades to fall for him when it took him mere _minutes_ before _he_ fell for_ her_. Indeed, he had been in love with her all his life.

It was a direct offense to his masculine pride.

He was a blind, ignorant fool, as well, not to recognize the romantic affections he harboured for the healer until the moment she professed her love for him. Perhaps it was because he had been carrying it since he was a child and he just got used to ignoring it. But it was alive and burning and can no longer be kept in the dark now that he knew she felt the same way.

He did not care if he had to come to her doorstep, welcome or unwelcome, every day for the rest of their existence just to prove to her that he cared for her in return. He did not think he had enough courage to say it to her face and confess the way she had done, but he just knew that without her, life would cease to have meaning.

"Retsu, where did you go?" he finally asked looking directly into her eyes, trying to channel the emotions he had inside into her soul.

The doorway to her soul, however, was locked in tightly for she replied, "I do not feel obliged to tell you."

Instead of becoming exasperated with her, Byakuya grew even more anxious with her stubborn secrecy. His heart was growing with unease. What could she be hiding so badly that she resolved to wear the enchanted cloak? He assumed that she had gone out into Rukongai for she was wearing his scarf because winter nights were so much crueller out in the districts. But why now when the battle was so near? He had an ominous feeling about it all, though he did not understand why.

From the poor light that seeped through her shoji doors from the hallway lights outside, he saw her eyes soften with moisture. A solitary tear glistened down her cheek. With horror, his brain registered that she was crying_._

Before either of them knew it, he had wrapped her up in a firm embrace.

It was an act that he did not even have to think about but _felt_ the need to do. It just seemed right somehow, despite the fact that they hadn't spoken in days. Yet it seemed that all their hurts and fears quickly dissolved into shadows as they held on to each other. He knew he should apologize for his atrocious reaction that night. But the words remained stuck in his throat. A multitude of feelings and emotions swam through his mind, but one thought stood out from the blur.

_This is where she belongs._

He felt exultant when Retsu did not push him away. He feared that she would start accusing him of abandoning her when she needed him most, but she easily melted into his embrace. He instinctively stroked her hair gently, breathing in her sweet, lavender perfume. Without realizing it, he let out a small, contented sigh. Not even a hundred days of separation could extinguish the bond they had.

But slowly, a dread crept back into his heart when he felt her trembling faintly against his chest. It was the barest of shivers, and he almost didn't notice it.

_She's petrified._

Those words did not belong together in the same sentence. Yet there could be no doubt that she was terrified. A heavy feeling sank in the pit of his stomach.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, and she would not tell him what it was.

Fate was unkind that night for before he could confront her again of her unusual late night escapade, two hell butterflies appeared from the shadows and landed on each of their shoulders.

"Captains and lieutenants of the 4th, 6th, 11th, and 12th Division are to report to 1st Division. General Yamamoto-Genryūsai requests your immediate presence. There has been a change to the departure time of the rescue mission."

After the message had ended, silence swelled between them like a tangible wave. But instead of letting go, Retsu's grip on his uniform tightened as if she was soaking up everything she could from this moment. Her lips were quivering slightly, and he wanted nothing more than to capture and still them with his. But he restrained himself. Instead, his arms brought her closer to himself if that was possible, offering comfort to an affliction he still did not know.

Sooner than Byakuya would have liked, Retsu drew away, taking her warmth with her and leaving Byakuya strangely destitute and unhappy. He resisted the severe longing to take her up again in his arms and stay that way until the world's ending.

No words were exchanged, but he felt her sorrow as keenly as if it was his own.

His eyes followed her, heart aching at the loss of her touch, as she stepped out onto her balcony and took off into the night. She did not look back, leaving the cloak and scarf behind her. The two pieces of clothing hung momentarily in the space she had last been before slowly floating down to the wooden floor.

Stepping out onto the balcony, Byakya picked his scarf up and wound it around his neck. He revelled in the sweet, pure scent of her before following after her with a heavy heart. There would not be another time when he could get her alone after this. Whatever had been bothering her, he decided, was going to have to wait.

_I'm sorry._

_I love you._

_Spend eternity with me._

Apologies, declarations, and implorations that needed to be said remained unspoken. They weighed like heavy shackles in his mind. But they, too, would have to wait.

And just like that Byakuya unknowingly committed another mistake, the most grievous he had ever made so far with the most tragic consequences.

_End of Chapter_

_Notes:_

_Takahiro – male; valuable, noble, or prosperous_

_Kumiko – female; archaic beauty_

_Forced Slumber – a Bakudō of unknown number, called Inemuri_

_Time-Out Drop –a Bakudō of unknown number, called Tanma Otoshi_

_Author's Note: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this writer's block got stuck far longer this time... I know exactly what I want to happen from this point onward but I'm not quite sure how to write it all down. I'm also having a little difficulty with writing these romantic/love/dramatic scenes. I wish I could write a better one but for now, this was the best out of all the drafts i wrote__. _

___So I'm sorry for the long wait and hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Also thank you for those who kept cheering me to update! You guys are my motivation. Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter!_


	18. Chapter 17

Not Just a Mother Figure

Chapter 17

They stood on the stony ledge of a formidable fortress, she, her lieutenant, and her fourth-seat. All around them they heard the others who came with them already penetrating through its impossibly thick walls. She breathed in deeply, quelling the growing nervous bubble in the bottom of her gut. Clear of all thoughts of selfish fears, she looked to her lieutenant.

"Kotetsu Isane, it's time."

"Hai."

With one mighty swing of her sword, she tore through the monstrous piece of concrete, leaving a gaping black hole in its place.

"Um… Kotetsu-fukutaichou, you sure are quite strong—"

"Yamada Hanatarou."

Hanatarou blinked wildly, consciously shielding his face with trembling hands. "Yes, taichou?"

"I did not bring you with me to joke around."

He winced at her tone but nodded submissively. "Understood."

"Good. Once we've gotten inside, I have a special mission for you."

Both her subordinates gawk at that. Not many sane 4th division members trusted Hanatarou with anything except cleaning the sewers back in Seireitei and buying cosmetics and other consumable products in the human world.

"Once we've gotten inside, I want you to follow Kuchiki-taichou's reiatsu. He will lead you to the 13th's Division's 3rd seat."

"Ah! That is Kuchiki Rukia," Isane murmured somewhat needlessly. "Was she defeated by one of those Arrancar?"

"Isane," Unohana said quietly, and though her tone was mild and gentle, it yielded another effect on her lieutenant.

"S-sorry taichou. I did not mean to insult Kuchiki-san's abilities."

"No, you did not I am sure. As I was saying, she is still alive, although her health is rapidly declining. Please do your best, Hanatarou."

"Yes, taichou!" Straightening himself, with a slight squaring of his shoulders, Hanatarou seemed to transform right in front of them from a frightened child to a soldier deserving his title as Shinigami. Positioning his feet into a Shunpo, he took off into the darkness of the hole to find the two Kuchiki's.

Unohana turned around to give the grey desert that is Hueco Mundo once last look. Its cold bitter wind struck her face and she could feel her skin tightening up from the dryness. It was a depressing lonely place. No wonder all Hollows are either mad or suicidal.

"Let's go."

Pushing off the ground, they enter into the wall. Thoughts she had previously managed to quell seemed to light up in the darkness.

Byakuya will surely hunt down whoever tried to harm her sister. And if she had ever known the noble, she was absolutely, one hundred percent certain he was going to hurt himself in the process. Hopefully Hanatarou's presence will make him more mindful of his physical well-being, although she seriously doubted if that would work. She had to try protecting him. She liked to think of it as her final way of showing she loved him.

Finally through the darkness of the walls, they step out into what seemed to be a bright light. Naturally yellow enough to be sun-like, yet lacking in the actual warmth of a healthy star.

Already, she heard clashes of swords and felt the ground shiver with explosions of reiatsu, most likely from the 11th Division. She wondered how long it will take for the Hollow to sense her presence.

"It seems there has already been casualties on both sides," she said, sadly pointing to the two bodies lying prostate on the ground before her. The dark-skinned boy she recognised to be one of Kurosaki Ichigo's friends. She was surprised he still had all his limbs intact, for honestly she didn't believe any of them would have lasted 30 minutes against an Espada, the highest order of Arrancar, or even a high ranking Arrancar. "Quickly, Isane. Let's see what we can do."

And as if on cue, a small battalion of walking bones approached her and Isane. Isane readied her zanpakutou, but with one gentle tap on the forearm from her captain, she lowered her sword.

Just as Hanatarou did a few moments back, Unohana straightens her back, puffs out her chest, squares her shoulders and lifts her chin with modest pride. "My name is Unohana Retsu…"

…

The corridors were clean and well lit. Completely different from what she expected to be the palace of an evil dictator. The sound of her footsteps rebounded across the foreboding walls, sending tiny chills down her spine. Isane had left her to check with Hanatarou whose reiatsu has diminished suddenly as Kuchiki-taichou's fight commenced. By the measure of both their spiritual pressure, Byakuya had dealt with an Espada. Retsu's plan had completely backfired and now Rukia, Hanatarou _and_ Byakuya were all injured. She walked faster now, in search for the three. Isane would most likely heal Hanatarou first so the both of them could heal the Kuchiki's faster and use their energy more efficiently.

She sighed inwardly, frustrated at how Byakuya never seemed to care about his body. One of these days, he would get himself terribly wounded and she would not be able to heal him. But she may not live long enough to see that day happen.

She shook her head hard. She once again managed to convince herself that she left those morbid thoughts behind in Soul Society. If she were to die today, it would make no difference.

No, it would make a lot of difference.

She would never again kiss the man she loved, touch the softness of his lips, see the twinkle in his eyes, feel the softness of his hair, smell the intoxicating sent of his skin… She would never make love to him, would never carry his child, or watch their children grow, or take care of him when they grow old…

But that life never would have suited her, or so she liked to think, if only to persuade herself that she chose the right career, the right path. After all, she broke her engagement long ago for a life like this. For glory and fame.

Had it truly been that long ago? Did she really believe that she wanted a life of defending Soul Society, of constantly being on the go, of rising to the top? Well, she realized now, when everything was about to end, that being on the top was boring. There was little room for growth and development. That must be what Aizen felt like.

Dear kami, was she actually sympathizing with that traitorous sociopath?

"Tsk tsk tsk."

She whipped around, amazed how she could not have felt the presence of a stranger in such close proximity. She looked around somewhat bemused at how she managed to find herself in a hall with strikingly white pillars soaring up to such great heights up to the ceiling a hundred feet above her head. Had she really been that lost in thought? Was it the prospect of dying that distracted her from the task at hand?

_Great, now I won't ever reach Byakuya in time. _

"You shouldn't be wandering around in a foreign place with your mind far away, especially when you're treading on enemy grounds, taichou-san."

She studied the man before her, partly to appraise him and partly in wonder. Curiously, this tall, slender man with shoulder-length brown hair did not appear to be a hollow. If not for his uniform, she would have thought he was another human being trapped in this prison with Inoue Orihime. But the illusion shattered the moment she glimpsed a necklace of bone-white teeth behind his tall white collar.

"My name is Unohana Retsu, captain of the 4th Division of the Got…" the words fall from her lips, incomplete as the mysterious Arrancar lazily unsheathed his sword. He had a look of both annoyance and indifference that bothered her deeply, as if he would rather be doing anything other than what he had to do.

Then something clicked in her brain, like an ominous bolt of a heavy lock.

_This is the man. _

A tangible chill dropped heavily on her shoulders and around her neck, as if someone was strangling her to death. She suddenly felt an all-consuming loneliness that nearly knocked the breath out of her. She was possessed by a sudden fear that she will never be happy again, never feel complete, never be loved.

_What power does this man possess? _

"What is your name, stranger?"

"Starrk. Coyote Starrk."

"Mr. Starrk, I would have you know my intentions are not to fight with any of you—

"I know as much, Retsu-san," he said, his voice deep and surprisingly pleasant.

Her heart quickened at the sound of her name and she didn't know why.

"But I'm afraid that won't stop me from my mission," he continues, with some hint of regret. He shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"No," she sighed with disappointment. "I am. I hoped that it would not have come to this. Bloodshed is something I would much rather avoid."

"Starrk, too!" a voice, too young and feminine to be Starrk's, said. Retsu blinked as a small head with shocking bright green hair materialised behind the Arrancar.

"Lilinette! I told you not to follow me! Get back to our room."

Suddenly, the man had transformed from a cold, heartless killer into something more… human. She stared at them, wondering at their relationship.

Lilinette, the girl, or at least she assumed to be a girl whose body was still too young to show any obvious female characteristics, did not appear to have heard the older man.

"Starrk has never ever wanted—

"Lilinette!"

Lilinette looked up at Starrk and after a pregnant pause, finally nodded. "All right, all right. It's such a waste, though. You both are so like each other. Can't you see it?"

This caught Retsu off guard. How could she be so alike her killer? It would be too ironic.

Starrk sighed tiredly, as if he had been tolerating something insufferable for a very long time now. But when he closed his eyes, the emotion in his voice had changed. "Maybe."

When he opened his eyes, the cold glint had returned to them. "Lilinette, it's time for you to leave."

Retsu observed the soft note at which he mentioned her name. What a mysterious man she was dealing with.

Without a word of farewell or acknowledgement, the girl Arrancar disappears as expertly as she had arrived.

"Who was she?"

"No one."

"Clearly she is nobody at all, seeing how she means a great deal to you."

The release of his reiatsu was immediate and nauseating, sending ripples of black energy across the entire palace. With a flick of his sword, so quick that she almost didn't evade it, the pillar behind her was cut into two. She did not watch it as the upper half slid off and crumbled to the floor behind her.

She raised a finely shaped eyebrow. She had touched a nerve.

"Bring out your sword, Retsu-san."

"I only do that if I have a good enough reason to."

"Is not being at war a sufficient reason?"

"Having a stranger raise his sword at one is also deemed by some as a sufficient reason," she answered back with a smile.

The corner of his lips tugged slightly into a smile as well. "And still, _you_ do not do it."

"I believe in what your Lilinette said."

Narrowed eyes were the only response she received.

"That you are as averse to be doing this as much as I am."

The Arrancar paused with a thoughtful frown upon his mild-natured face. The smile returned to his face. "Hm, it seems we have attracted the presence of another captain."

She knew what, or _whom _he was referring to. Starrk's reiatsu, interlaced with some of her energy, alerted a certain black-haired Shinigami. Said Shinigami was racing through the alien building, still injured and unhealed. If she was not so pre-occupied at the moment, she would have smacked her forehead in dismay.

_Foolish boy._

"Tell me, Retsu-san. What exactly is this boy to you?" he asked, reading her mind.

Without warning, her enemy threw her another swing of his sword and another pillar was destroyed. They both felt the fast approaching Shinigami quicken his pace, if that was possible.

"Or maybe I should have asked," Starrk continued with the same curious expression, as if he hadn't just been trying to slice her to death. "What do you mean to him?"

"That is not very fair, asking me that question when you refuse to answer mine," she tossed back to him, unfazed.

Starrk's smile was spreading into a full blown grin. "I think I would have married you, Retsu-san, if we had only been born in a different place, at a different time… if only I did not have this inherent repulsion that permeates my very existence with my being Hollow and your being Shinigami."

"I find the thought flattering, but it's simply not the time to be making heart-felt confessions of ill-timed love, Starrk-san."

The slash that cuts through the air and through the pillar behind Starrk came as a surprise to the both of them.

"Ah, you're finally here, Other-taichou-san."

Kuchiki Byakuya appeared even worse than what she had hoped. His left arm hanged uselessly at his side while he leaned slightly, favouring his right leg. Her hands twitched, itching to heal him but she restrained herself and tightened her grip on her still-sheathed zanpakutou instead.

"He's quite a bit of work, isn't he, Retsu-san? You sure know how to pick 'em" Starrk said conversationally, ignoring the barely concealed hostility emanating from Byakuya. "I would have thought your defender would come more… whole."

"You shouldn't have come, Kuchiki-taichou," she told him in a voice she hoped was low enough not to be overheard, not wanting to reprimand him in front of the enemy. To argue with him would show a divide among the captains. She knew better than to give the enemy anything they could use to their advantage.

"Nothing could have prevented me from coming to you."

"That obviously includes having two useless limbs," she could not help but snap at him, frustrated by his lack of concern for his own safety. "You should have let yourself be healed first. Of what use would you be to me now? Besides this is my fight, not yours."

Byakuya looked away, knowing she was right, knowing even before she told him, and still he had not listened to reason. He just knew he had to be there for her. He won't let anything happen to her, even at the cost of his life.

"Tsk tsk tsk."

The two captains instinctively got into defensive. The Arrancar was standing in mid-air, with his white cloak swaying softly behind him, amused at the both of them.

"This is becoming into an even more interesting fight. We have one captain who refuses to fight and another suicidal captain who can barely stand on two feet," he counted, bringing up two fingers on his pale, slender fingers. "But unfortunately, I have no desire to see this drag on."

Starrk lazily stretched his back like a cat that had just woken up before pointing his sword at them.

"Prepare yourselves now."

Retsu and Byakuya leapt out of the way as a blazing blue light blasts the pavement where they had previously stood.

What followed after that was a blur of blue cero and flying debris. As soon as Retsu landed on one of the pillars, it was immediately blown to bits by a cero. Their enemy had the ability of shooting as many ceros without even so much as a pause. She just hoped Byakuya was doing well. He really should not have involved himself in her fight. Though she'd be lying if she said her heart didn't beat a little faster and her soul grow a little warmer to witness the evidence of how much she meant to him.

She landed gracefully between two broken columns when a blast, brighter than any of the previous ceros by a hundredth-fold, engulfs her in eerie blue light. She barely has time to register one strong arm wrapping tightly around her back as she hides her face into a blood-stained chest.

The light shined until it turned into blinding white and it seeped through her closed lids and hurt her eyes. When the light and heat died down, she found she was unharmed. Byakuya, who was now embracing her tightly, also appeared to be none the worse. She frowned. Something was not right.

And then her eyes widened at the sudden realization.

Everything after that happened in a split second, a tiniest fragment of time. She watched as the events unfold before her eyes and she could not do anything to stop them. Starrk had used that small window of opportunity to strike by appearing so closely before them, only a few feet away, and throwing a black cube between the tiniest space that was between her head and Byakuya's chest.

_It's a trap!_

The words never made it out of her lips no matter how loud she screamed inside her head.

She watched as the expression on Byakuya's face slowly shifted from relief to horror. She could see the same fear across her own features reflected in his stunned silver eyes.

She watched as the black cube multiplies and drowns them in dark energy and Starrk vanishes from her sight with one last look of chagrin in his eyes.

…

She knelt there, contemplating why she had now encountered her killer and still be alive. Were those visions only a dream as she had first believed them to be? Had all her fears and tears been for nothing? Minazuki was being strangely quiet since the moment they stepped foot into Hueco Mundo.

The heavy burden she had been carrying lightened up a little as she focused on healing the man lying before her.

It took a while before Byakuya finally blinked into consciousness. His eyes adjusted to the darkness as he tried to reorient himself with his surroundings. He stared up at the dark expanse above stretching into infinity.

Unconsciously, Retsu has a soft smile on her face that had she been aware of would have sent her blushing from head to foot.

The previously nerveless arm and leg was now completely healed with not a scar to prove it had existed in the first place.

"Where are we?" was the first thing he asked as he slowly rose into a sitting position. Retsu who was kneeling beside him, turned her head and scanned the horizon of dark matter. From all around them, above, to the left, to the right, and beneath them, dark clouds of turbulent energies stretch on as far as the eye can see.

"In a prison," she guessed more than answered. But there was some truth in her words.

Looking around, Byakuya calculated their chances. When he turned back to her, he shook his head. "No, not when I'm with you."

Retsu frowned and made to stand, but Byakuya took her by the hand and held her in place.

"Byakuya, don't," she started, not liking at all where this was leading to. "We should be looking for a way out."

"The cube is already collapsing. Can you feel it?"

She didn't want to admit it but he was right. She did sense the walls thinning, deteriorating by the minute. Dark matter was unstable by nature and a thin wall is not enough to contain two captains.

"There is nothing for us to do but wait until it fades completely," he said, his voice smug and this angered her. She wanted to continue arguing with him, if only to prevent what she knew would happen when they were left alone. She settled for admonishing him about his injuries.

"You're never careful, Kuchiki-taichou, despite my warnings. I continuously find you in a worse condition after every battle you fight." Despite the heat behind her words, she never looked him in the eye. Instead, her eyes followed a dark floating speck, unexpectedly finding the extraordinary in the ordinary. She surreptitiously attempted to pry her arm from his grip.

Unluckily for her, he noticed and moved to encase her cold hands with his warm ones. She immediately found the sensation pleasant, which sent her into another round of self-loathing.

"I like to think that when you heal me, it is like a part of you becomes me, _lives_ in me. Your energy fills me with warmth and softness that reminds me of everything about you."

The intensity of his gaze was almost too much for her, but she still wasn't giving in.

"I feel your presence penetrating every corner of my soul, filling it with your light… your love."

Closing her eyes, she decided she didn't want to hear any more of what he had to say. Even as she felt his hand frame her face, she didn't open them. If she did, the tears would surely fall in waves.

Her hands and her lower lip were trembling. She wanted nothing else but to hide from this man she loved to tears, but there was nowhere to go.

Several minutes had passed until she managed to steady her voice. "Why are you doing this?"

"I had to protect you."

Finally opening her eyes, she gave a mirthless laugh. "You just _had _toprotect me, didn't you?"

The brows on his forehead crinkled in confusion.

"Is it because of some _obligation_ on your part? Byakuya, I've never wanted you to be obligated to me. That would ruin the whole point of loving someone."

"You don't think I care for you?" he asked. The man even found the gall to look wounded.

"Well, you weren't doing a good job of showing that when you… when you left…" she whispered brokenly, losing her voice before she could finish her sentence.

"Retsu, I…" he didn't continue and though Retsu knew what he was trying to say, she was disappointed that he still could not say it.

And like a bomb strategically planted, she exploded.

"Why do you have this effect on me? Every time I think to myself that I could not possibly love you more, I fall in love even more deeply than before. Every touch, every glance, every gesture, everything about you makes my heart soar and you don't even try! Can't you see what you're doing to me? Because of you, I am no longer the woman I thought I was. I don't even know who I am anymore!

"But you! It's like you don't notice at all! I try so hard, _so_ hard to harden my heart against you, but nothing ever works. And still, you remain innocent, not knowing how effortlessly you make me lose my self-control."

Byakuya seemed at a loss for words to say, so he pinned his eyes at her braid, concentrating on what little light strikes upon its curves. He traced one long finger over the smooth bumps and she shivered at his touch.

"Stop that! You see what I mean? _This_ is what I mean! You drive me insane how… how _I_ would give you my life out of love. But you, you would give me your life out of duty!"

With one last heave of her chest, her passion died down into a gentle lull. She felt out of breath, exhausted of all pent-up frustration from their cold wars and from all that useless fear of being stabbed by the hand of an Espada.

"Retsu…" he tried tentatively, reaching for her shoulders. When his hands made contact with her, she did not push him away. She wasn't sure if it was because she was tired or because she was too weak to deny herself what she craved: his touch.

"I can't do this anymore, Byakuya. We… can't," she whispered. He responded by taking her ribbon and untying her braid like he had done so many times before. She heard him utter a satisfied sound of approval as her hair ran smoothly through his white fingers before they fell from his hand.

"I can't ask you to love me…" she continued, her breath hitching as he leaned forward to cradle her head.

She closed her eyes unintentionally as he combed his fingers through her hair.

"…the way that I want you to…"

She paused when she felt him draw ever closer, his breath now on her shoulder. She realized her throat had become dry. Swallowing the small lump forming in her throat, she trudged on.

"…not out of any obligation on your part…"

His lips grazed her neck and her vision faded into a soft red.

"And if you cannot love me…"

His nose brushed her ear. She found the sensation tickling.

"...if you can't love me..."

Sinking into a dream, she heard a sigh she did not know was hers.

"…you have to let me go…"

Making their way across her jaw, his lips finally joined hers, and she lost herself once more.


	19. Chapter 18

Not Just a Mother Figure

Chapter 18

Peace.

A river flowed beside a woman who stood among the glistening stones, smoothened by the quiet power of never-ending waves. Above, leafless trees pierced the grey-washed sky with their thorny arms. The wind was cold and uninviting, causing the tips of her ears and nose to glow pink.

But for all the beauty in that picturesque scene, it went overlooked by the unmoving woman. With a faraway look in her eyes, she waited.

She didn't have to wait for long.

A bright green creature swooped down from the previously deserted sky, casting its shadow over the still woman a couple of times before it lands atop the decaying leaves. It emitted a mewling sound, akin to a purr, as it wagged its dangerous razor sharp tail behind. Its eye shone, revealing intelligence far too superior for only a living creature.

"I know what you want to say, Minazuki" the woman seemed to speak, although her lips remained fastened together and her eyes distant.

The creature, Minazuki, grinned revealing a vast row of thin yellow teeth that closely resembled a comb. The tips of its pectoral fins were happily swaying in the wind, unaffected by the dropping temperature as the day prepared for night.

"But what if you're wrong?" she asked, morphing Minazuki's grin into a low growl. But she paid it no heed. "What if what you saw was not real? What if it was only one outcome out of all the possible outcomes that could have happened with our fight? What if it was only the thing you could see because you never expected Byakuya to come to my defense?"

Screeching its disapproval, it stomped its heavy claws in the dirt. Though the ground shook with each thud, Retsu stayed as serene as the river.

"What if there was this one slice of chance where we could be together?"

'_Would you risk it?'_

"What?" Turning, she saw that her zanpakutou was now only a few meters away.

'_If you end up together, and that tiny possibility becomes reality, what happens when what I saw comes to pass? Because it will, Retsu. I am your zanpakutou. I know.'_

There was no reply.

'_It is not fair for him to be lifted so high up to heaven only to come crashing down soon after. Can you do this to him? Love him and leave him to suffer for your selfishness? He has already lost so much.'_

"I know that."

Night had come and somewhere in the distance, a solitary wolf howled.

Minazuki's disappointment was palpable in her every gesture. _'You do not even know if he loves you as you do. Kisses may not mean what you think they do.'_

"He loves me," she tried to defend him, and consequently, defend herself. "He would not have kissed me on his own volition if he didn't. And don't you think I would be able to tell if he does or does not?"

'_You sound so convincing, but even you are not convinced, Retsu.'_ Minazuki was gentle when she said it, but it as good as stabbed Retsu with a knife to her chest.

Retsu's head fell as her insecurities rose up beneath the murky water like the plague. She felt exposed. Minazuki gave little mercy.

'_He has not even said it. How can you know?'_

"I know!" she yelled, shaking her head furiously, willing to block Minazuki out of her mind.

'_How do you know it's not Hisana he sees in you that makes him love you?'_

"I don't care…" she cried, no longer understanding what she was saying.

'_How can you be sure that when you leave this black Hollow prison, what happened between you two was not just a dream?'_

"I don't know…" she whispered, defeated at last.

Minazuki floated closer and wrapped her fins around the captain. It was not her desire to break her master. No, she loved Retsu with a love that could never be written down and captured into stiff, unfeeling adjectives and descriptions.

She loved Retsu, and like her master, she loved the man Retsu loved. Enough to spare him a life of misery and pain.

'_Make certain that he loves you, Retsu. And if he does, make certain that you do not leave him again.'_

…

By the time Retsu woke up from her zanpakutou-induced dream, the black energy prison walls were groaning and barely standing at all, held only by an invisible thread that tied the whole box together. There was no time to lose.

She turned her head and nothing could have stopped the smile from gracing her lips when she realized she was lying on Byakuya's solid chest. The way his arm held her protectively and securely to his side made her feel light-headed and giddy. For one desperate moment, she took him all in, the sight of his beauty, the sound of his breathing, the smell of his feminine masculinity, the smoothness of his skin. He was deceptively sweet like the cherry blossoms his zanpakutou wielded: beautiful and yet beneath his skin were layers of hard, dangerous muscles. But she did not feel any danger to her person. In fact, she had never felt any safer.

She deliberated the repercussions of kissing him, before fate parted them again.

Alas, all good moments do not last forever. Her thorough examination of his most desirable attributes had not gone unnoticed by the specimen himself.

"How long have you been awake?" he murmured. She was certain he had not slept a wink.

"Not for too long," she whispered back, still revelling in this rare moment. "Minazuki was rather insistent, and this was the only way she could talk to me without any… distractions."

He did not ask what her sword had to say. What passes between zanpakutou and Shinigami is too personal and sacred to share with another soul.

Pointing out into the black nothingness, he said "It's almost time."

Nodding, she slowly sat up and his arm around her fell back to his side. She felt incomplete without his warmth. Her fingers instinctively began to reach out for him, but she clutched her hair instead. With the expert grace of someone who had done the same every day for centuries, she braided her hair and tied it in record time.

She could feel his silver eyes scrutinizing her every move. He knew what putting on the braid implied.

"I need to ask you something, Byakuya." Her voice was serious now. The moment of tenderness was now evaporating bit by bit like the dark particles that surrounded them.

Mimicking her movement, Byakuya also sat up, keeping his hands to himself, already having an idea what that question was. He was now turning back into the cold, calculating captain that everyone feared, no longer the tender, affectionate man he reserved only for her.

_Good,_ she thought. It was regrettable but necessary. _This is the man I need him to be right now._

"You know me. You know my deepest, oldest secret, a secret I've managed to keep hidden for more than a thousand years. You know I am not as perfect and _good_ as everyone thinks I am. That I am a murderer."

"Was," he corrected, neither of them making eye contact.

"It doesn't matter. It does not change the fact that I caused their deaths. But that's not the point I'm driving at. The point _is _that I've given every reason for you to hate me and stay away from me." With a bittersweet laugh, she looked at him with a wry smile.

"I tricked you into promising something you did not want to do. And after that, I kissed you as if I had any right at all to touch you. And then I burdened you with my unwanted confession, ultimately relinquishing any hope of making things go back to the way they were. That was what you wanted, wasn't it? Still, I took that away from you."

He never took his eyes off the distance. But she was sure he listened to every word, every inflection, every pause.

"You know I am selfish. It is my greatest flaw. Right now, I could be leading you on, when I could be taken away at the next minute."

Her words made him suspicious. Finally looking at her, she saw a crease on his brow, and she knew he was on to her.

"What are you saying?"

"You come to me and kiss me like it solves everything. I want to believe that it does, too, but things just don't work that way.

"To start again from the very beginning would be naïve, not to mention futile. But I do want for us to be together, and if you do, too…"

"I— he started, but she cut him off, placing a finger on his lips.

"You don't have to say anything now. But I just want to say that… that I'm not Hisana."

There. She finally said it. The name that was sure to be his trigger. Fighting not to flinch, she braced herself against the consequences of her actions. She sensed him draw closer, and for one irrational second, she feared he would strike her.

How could she compare herself to Hisana, the love of his life? It was too presumptuous of her. Had she pushed him too far? Byakuya would never hurt her. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

Then why were his hands moving tortuously towards her face? Her eyes slammed shut involuntarily only to widen again in shock.

She did not expect his soft lips on her forehead. "Wha—

"No, you are not. You are Retsu," he whispered into her hair.

She broke away, eyes shining in betrayal, which was absolutely absurd. If anyone had a right to feel deceived, it should be Byakuya, not her. But his reaction was wrong, wrong, wrong. He was not supposed to embrace her or accept her or _kiss_ her. He should be outraged. He should feel guilty, for Kami's sake, for marring Hisana's memory with the thoughts of another woman. Even if that other woman was her.

"I have not forgotten Hisana." He said softly, painstakingly choosing his words.

"Do you remember her every time you kiss me then?" The question slipped her tongue before she could take it back.

A shadow of hurt flitted across his eyes before he discerned what she was trying to do. He glared at her.

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded, though his voice never strayed above a whisper.

She didn't bother trying to deny it. But she didn't answer either.

"Why do you intend to hurt me by bringing her back?"

She scowled back, the very image of impertinence.

"Retsu," he warned, losing patience.

Biting back the sigh on her lips, she snapped. "Because it seems that I am the only one who feels shame every time I remember her."

"I would never do anything to disgrace her name," he scoffed. His eyes had narrowed down to slits.

"You don't understand. I was supposed to take care of you. She _asked_ me to. And I agreed!"

It took a moment for him to respond.

"But you did," he replied, his confusion evident. "You've always been there to heal me. Always."

She shook her head mournfully. "When she died… you sank into a spiralling depression. I told myself I would be the friend you needed, to help you overcome the pain of losing… her. At first, I thought I was doing a good job. That if she saw me then someway, somehow, she would be happy. But I exploited her trust by falling in love with you. In the end, I couldn't do what she asked.

"I could never heal your broken heart."

Byakuya turned away sharply. When he faced her again, his eyes were ablaze with emotion, and his voice vehement. "No, you never could. For how could you possibly heal a heart when you keep plunging a knife in it? Hisana might have hurt me once, but it was not in her control and that was a long time ago. But you, Retsu, you said it yourself. You hid from me, you tricked me, and you pushed me away. Always, you find new ways to torture me."

His every word stung her like ice in a winter storm. But she didn't blame him. She deserved this.

"You say that you are selfish, Retsu."

She winced.

"But you forget that I am proud."

He advanced towards her. She willed herself not to take a step back, even when he was merely inches away from her face. Trapping her with both his hands, he peered into her eyes. He was so alarmingly close, she could feel his long black bangs on her nose.

"I am a Kuchiki. I am proud. And yet I am here. With you. After everything, I am _still_ _here_."

"I don't quite follow—

"Why would I be in this 'prison' as you called it, if not for you? Can you still not _fathom_ how much you mean to me? No? Then let me say it."

"NO!" she cried, panicking. "Don't. Not yet." _What would Minazuki say?_

She burned under his blazing eyes. They were so sharp they seemed like daggers boring into her very soul. But there was one last thing she had to say.

"I have one last request."

Letting her go, he returned his hands by his side. His eyes were wary, knowing first hand were her requests always lead to.

She felt defensive for his cautiousness, though he had just cause. She breathed deeply. It was now or never. She looked up and dove right into his silver grey eyes.

"Wait for me after this war is over."

He pondered her words, his eyes turned unreadable and impenetrable.

Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes.

Still nothing.

Their fight had turned into one serious staring contest.

Finally, he nodded. "You will go to Karakura Town?"

"Yes," Retsu sighed inwardly, feeling relief for successfully averting another potential confession, another disaster just waiting to happen. "If I know anything about Mayuri, he would have figured out a way by now to open the Garganta."

"About Kurosaki Ichigo…"

"Yes, I will take him with me."

"Then you actually believe he will be valuable to this war?"

With one raised eyebrow, she replied. "At the current state he is in, honestly no. He has been winning mostly by luck and intuition. He is young. What he has in power, he lacks in skill. Aizen is a dangerous man with an even more dangerous sword. He has been planning for this war for centuries. He will not let anyone ruin his plans so easily…

"But Kurosaki-san has one advantage that might just be the key, a trump card, if you will."

"He has not seen Aizen's shikai," he finished for her. "Ukitake-taichou told me this."

Byakuya evaded the questioning look Retsu gave him at the mention of Ukitake's name. Instead, he touched the hilt of his sword, locking it in place.

"Then I shall come with you as well."

She shook her head vehemently. "Remember your place. You should stay here. You cannot leave Zaraki-taichou and Kurotsuchi-taichou on their own. I predict they will want to stay behind. Kami knows what kind of havoc they will wreak without someone to restrain them. Besides, Rukia will stay here."

His lips tightened as he weighed his options. After a few moments, he still had not spoken. She knew she had won.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." She said it too casually and hoped he won't notice.

But he did notice because he said, "Promise me then."

His eyes were bright and piercing. There was no excuse out of it.

"I—

And by all the lucky stars that she could have possible wished on, a head-pounding screech pierced through the air, like the sound of nails scraping a chalkboard. With a last shudder of the prison box, the remaining thread holding it was finally torn. The black cube disintegrated, revealing blinding light.

The two captains stood side by side, eyes still adjusting to the light.

"Taichou!" Retsu heard someone cry. She turned and discovered her lieutenant, her third-seat and Byakuya's sister with their jaws dropped. Isane was practically in tears. When they had finally recovered, the words just came pouring out from their open mouths.

"What was that black thing just now? Was it one of Aizen's trick?"

"Kuchiki-taichou left so soon, we didn't even have a chance to heal his wounds. He disappeared so fast, we didn't know where he had gone to!"

"N-nii-sama! What happened? Are you okay?"

Retsu didn't know whether to be amused or concerned.

Byakuya, on the other hand, was not impressed. She could easily tell he was not happy with their unfinished conversation. But there was nothing he could do about it anymore. So with one curt "I'm fine", he flash-stepped out of the now completely demolished room, its impressive pillars reduced to piles of rubble.

Closely watching his impression fade against the backdrop as he shunpo-ed out of sight, Retsu finally addressed the small group.

Throwing one of her signature smiles, she avoided their questions. "Kuchiki-taichou and I had a small encounter with one of the Espada. But it's over and in the past."

She ignored their protests and additional questions. "We must find Kurotsuchi-taichou," she said firmly, signalling the end of all discussion about what just happened.

Her subordinates immediately gave in, but Rukia, being a member of another division, was not so easily swayed.

"Unohana-taichou, you healed my brother. Thank you."

"It is only my job, Kuchiki-san." It was not entirely a lie, nor was it the truth. But it was the only appropriate response.

"Come, Isane, Hanatarou stay with Rukia."

…

Kuchiki Byakuya watched the woman he loved and Ichigo Kurosaki plunge into the gaping hole that was the Garganta that Kurotsuchi and his lieutenant constructed.

He could still taste her lips, sweet and soft, like mandarin oranges: easily bruised and absolutely refreshing. He fought the urge to close his eyes to relive the sensation of kissing her in his mind.

Already, their kiss was fading, a hazy dream in the middle of a summer night.

He had a very bad feeling about being left behind and not by her side to protect her from every demon Aizen had concocted. But Retsu was right, his place was here. His duty was here. _Rukia_ was here.

It was all so frustrating.

How could he protect his loved ones when they were literally worlds apart? He wanted to think that Retsu was strong enough to protect herself, in case anything should happen. But still, the uneasiness did not wane.

For all his life, he was taught into believing that doing one's duty was the sole purpose of one's life. And for a time, he did believe it. He may have strayed from the orders of his elders and advisers, but he paid for it every time, like his loss in the form of Hisana's death, Rukia's almost execution and his almost death at Ichimaru Gin's sword.

But how could Retsu think so little of him that she would go so far as to believe he only loved her because it was his duty?

'_You drive me insane how… how I would give you my life out of love. But you, you would give me your life out of duty!'_

His jaw instinctively tightened as he recalled how confident Retsu was about how he felt about her.

_But was it true?_ A shadow of doubt crossed his mind. Was it?

_Of course not! It is insulting to even think about it. I love her. I love her. I love her. I would die for her solely because I love her. _

And then and there, he knew he would do it, just as he sacrificed himself for Rukia.

"Kuchiki Byakuya." It was Mayuri.

Merely giving the eccentric captain one side-glance, he turned back to the Garganta. If he looked long enough, maybe Retsu's head will miraculously pop up. She would come back to him and say how foolish it was to be anywhere than beside him. He continued peering into its depths, even after Nemu pulled the lever, effectively sealing the Garganta for the time being.

"I'm surprised that you stayed behind, Kuchiki Byakuya"

That merited another side-glance from the noble.

"Why?"

"From the look on your face, I was seventy-six percent certain you'd chase after them."

"It is more shocking to see you remain in Hueco Mundo," he answered impassively.

"Well, I want to take my time first exploring the wonders that Hueco Mundo has in store for an inquisitive scientist such as myself. I am always thirsting for new knowledge, unlike the barbarians from the eleventh who do not care about learning from the enemy so long as they are able to defeat them."

Fortunately, Kenpachi was too busy fighting the gigantic Espada out in the field to hear what Mayuri had just said. The Espada yelled and cursed as Kenpachi kept slicing off his arms. The noise was really getting on Byakuya's nerves.

What Mayuri said was true, though Byakuya did not need to say it to confirm his dislike for the rough and tough division. Everyone in the Gotei already knew he disapproved the eleventh's ways. Mayuri kept talking.

"But unlike you, I am not so heavily invested in a certain woman."

Byakuya turned to observe the captain under uninterested eyes. Mayuri was sitting on a broken pillar, studying Kenpachi's battle with boredom written all over his face.

"Such a noisy, troublesome Hollow, don't you think?" Kurotsuchi continued unblinkingly, as if he had already forgotten his taunt about "a certain woman".

Indeed, the Espada was nothing but arrogant. And what Byakuya hated more than anything in the world was arrogance without substance. He felt himself becoming angrier and angrier, though he maintained his cool demeanour.

"Yes, such a lowly creature has no right to live," he said. He found himself descending into a red and violent mood, a reaction he noted Retsu always managed to incite in him.

He wouldn't have it any other way. Everything else would pale in comparison now.

Suddenly, he got the uncontrollable urge to start fighting, if only to hasten the end of this war. He needed to find her. He didn't want to waste a second longer.

_I'm coming for you._

Neither Mayuri nor Kenpachi saw the hidden smile on his face as he threw himself into the fray.

…

Karakura Town looked like any other city Retsu had visited in the Human World. The air was bursting with the scent of life, a feature she found lacking back in Seireitei. And it certainly was a bigger difference after coming from a desolate place like Hueco Mundo.

The hot, white sun glared down upon her head, upon the pavements, and upon the cement boulders, the aftermath of the war.

Where Ichigo was or where Aizen was, no one really knew. Their reiatsu, or Ichigo's lack thereof, vanished before anyone could update the score between Shinigami and Hollow. She was not so worried about Ichigo, though. It was his fight, and whatever the outcome, she knew he would give it his all. It was his town, his family and his friends at stake after all.

Oh, and not to mention the balance keeping the Human world, Soul Society, and Hueco Mundo as separate, distinct dimensions.

But Retsu believed the orange-haired boy was smart enough to know that he needed to win, for everyone's sake.

Behind her, her officers ran to and fro, shouting orders, casting healing spells, delivering diagnoses to the injured. The injured meaning every single soldier who came to Karakura Town, which meant that they were going to be busy for at least the next few months.

She was content, though, letting her division work and do what they did best. It was only during these times the fourth was ever truly appreciated.

Stepping over broken water pipes and broken concrete, she started to wander away from the group. Not everybody has been accounted for yet. There might be bodies lying behind pulverized buildings desperately waiting for her to discover them.

She continued searching, calmly making her way through the wreckage. She wasn't nervous, not even when her healers were now too far for her to be heard. She barely even noticed. The disconnection between mind and emotions possessed her, and she focused on nothing but finding more bodies.

_There!_

She saw an arm lying limply beneath a massive piece of brick, which used to be the corner of a school building. She hurried over to move the heavy piece off of the poor boy lying underneath it.

"Atone, Minazuki."

Her sword was now transformed into a formidable green creature. Minazuki smiled before she bellowed an unearthly tune. Flying over the obstruction, her claws dug into the cement as if it was made of butter and she lifted it up and threw it out of the way.

Unohana gasped.

Red.

Blood spilled from her abdomen, gushing like a gruesome fountain.

Crimson red. Dirty trick. Starrk.

It had taken Minazuki only one moment to react. Her claws sunk into the skin beneath Starrk's neck. In one graceful move, he was headless. Retsu watched as his flesh was torn and the blood spilled from his neck like too much tea on a too small cup.

Dazzling red. Cheap, dirty trick. Coyote Starrk.

Retsu watched, entranced, fascinated, unbelieving, as if this was all a dream and she would wake up any second now.

Hideous red.

The metallic smell of blood overpowered her senses. She had never gotten nauseated about such a petty little thing like blood.

But this blood was different.

This blood was hers.

It was warm, blossoming over her skin and pooling around her ankles. The heat was stifling under the white glare of the sun. She thought she might vomit.

Minazuki screeched in fury one last time.

Then everything went dark.

...

A/N: TADA! This is going to be the last chapter in a loooong while. I'm sorry if it's full of errors and mistakes. Please forgive me. But i really want to finish this story. So here you go! Hope you like it.

And just a note, yes, Unohana is ooc here. I know she could never be wounded just like that. But it is vital for the plot, so please forgive me for that.

Thank you for your loving reviews as well! I'm glad some people actually enjoy reading this. Byakuya/Unohana isn't a popular pairing, but it is my goal to convert more shippers for this pairing. Byakuya/Unohana all the way!


	20. Chapter 19

Not Just a Mother Figure

Chapter 19

Wincing from some unknown pain somewhere in her insides, Unohana blinked as she was blinded by the last rays of the setting sun. Momentarily disoriented and in a tremendous amount of pain, she slowly brought her hand to find her wound. She cursed as she brought her hand back up to her face to see the sight of wet crimson. Not wasting any more time, she eased into a sitting position, hand clutching deeply on her gaping wound, in the hopes of stopping the blood flow.

She gasped in pain and almost doubled over from the sudden change in position and from the blood she had already lost. Biting into her tongue, she ignored the pain and the ugly monster lurking in her subconscious that would wind its tentacle around her neck and place her in useless shock. It loomed above her head like a poised guillotine waiting for her to stumble into panic.

But she would not panic. She was stronger than her monster. She was greater than Coyote Starrk. She will not be defeated in such a manner. She absolutely refused.

_Minazuki_, she thought, looking about her, her long, straight black her whipping in her face. She irritably brushed some strands away from her eyes.

All around her were broken concrete and torn metal. Dust lay over the debris. The ground she had previously lain on was brown, blood mingled with dirt. The very sight of it brought bile to rise up her throat, but she forced it down. She was not disgusted at her own blood but at what it implied: weakness.

She tore her white captain's coat off which was now half-covered in red and had a hole just beneath the insignia of her beloved division. She will burn it afterwards, not caring what the General would say.

_Where is my sword?_

Closing her eyes, she reached deep within her and called for her zanpakutou. _Minazuki, reveal yourself to me, _she prayed.

Her eyes still closed, her feet led her to the right, compelled by a strong tugging at the core of her soul, as real as if a braided rope was tied around her.

_I found you._

She smiled. The connection was faint, but it was still there. She was not so weak yet as to wholly sever her tie to her zanpakutou.

With one hand still pressing into her bloody wound, she strode to her destination.

The sky was already ablaze in reds and purple. Her division members would sure be looking for her soon, if they weren't already searching for her.

'_Retsu.'_

_Minazuki! _She breathed a sigh, in part joy and part relief, as she finally grasped the hilt of her sword buried upright in the ground.

'_I cannot heal you, do you not remember?__ My healing powers have no effect on you.__'_

_I have not forgotten._

'_And you cannot heal yourself alone.'_

_No… But I shall try. What choice do I have?_

Minazuki contemplated this. They both know she would suffer greater harm before she would allow her officers to see her in such a state.

_That is why I need you. I shall be busy healing myself. It will take all of my ability to concentrate on replenishing all the blood that I lost, even more so to knit up my wound. I cannot cast an anaesthetic kaidou upon myself for fear of losing consciousness or the sensation of not only my pain but of all else. Thus, it will be extremely painful._

'_And you need me to warn you when there is a person approaching,'_ Minazuki guessed correctly.

_Yes._

Minazuki grumbled and gave a low, unearthly whine. Her master was too prideful. But then again, so was she.

…

Isane had never been one for romance. She was too shy and too concentrated on work to even think about dating. Back in her Academy days, she had been too tall and ungainly to have been ever thought attractive by the relatively vertically challenged male population. Not that she had never felt anything for anyone. In fact, she had several huge crushes on certain powerful, black-haired men.

So when Captain Kuchiki Byakuya-_the _Kuchiki Byakuya whom Shinigami women of all ages fantasize about-seized her hand before her two feet had even landed on the pavement of Fake Karakura Town, she choked and heated up quicker than a metal rail under a bright noon sun. If Captain Kuchiki had not been so insistent, tugging her in direction away from the group of Shinigami rushing to greet the new arrivals from Hueco Mundo, she might have even fainted. Fortunately she managed to stay awake. She would never forgive herself for losing consciousness at such a critical event-a one in a million chance of holding hands with the most desired man in Soul Society (according to the Women Shinigami Association, that is.)

Her mind was still reeling and floating and somersaulting when Captain Kuchiki shunpo-ed suddenly, dragging her along with him.

Shooting through the urban wasteland, she stumbled several times, unable to match the captain's stellar speed with her own average shunpo skill.

"Keep up," Captain Kuchiki said, with a cold voice.

Isane felt tears forming behind her eyes-from the sting of the harsh wind and from his callous words. "Hai," she squeaked, cursing herself for being unable to hide her weakness or even feign confidence.

The sun was now melting into night, the sky bleeding a deep red, the blood of many who died for the war.

The war. Was it ended? She did not even know. Captain Kuchiki did not give them a chance to find out. Where they were headed off to must be sorely important.

_It must be, _she grumbled._ What if he was going to tell me a secret? Is that why he is bringing me so far from the others? What if he meant to confess his love for me? That all this time I have been dreaming about him, he was also dreaming about me? Oh dear Kami, what if he propo__ses? Should I accept it? But I can't possibly..._

Isane spent a few more moments enacting several possible marriage proposals and constructing elaborate engagement rings in the solace of her own mind. She was getting flustered at her own thoughts and had come close to blurting out a huge YES after a very emotional, romantic scene she had played in her head.

Finally, Captain Kuchiki stopped at an unsuspecting sidewalk and she skidded to a halt beside him. She breathed a sigh of relief and thanked her stars when he let go of her hand. Doesn't he know she couldn't possibly accept his hand in marriage when he was so hopelessly in love with her captain?

"Uhm... Kuchiki-taichou," she started as she surveyed the scene before her.

It looked the same as any of the other ruined infrastructure they had passed. Broken glass windows lay glittering on the floor, and pounds of dust powdered the broken walls and slabs of torn concrete buildings lay scattered about like a giant had come here and smashed a fist through the building before them. She picked her way through the uneven ground when something shiny caught her eye. At first she thought it was just a large shard of glass that had caught the last rays of the dying light.

Captain Kuchiki had apparently noticed it, too, for he bolted towards the innocent looking object. Except it was not so innocent anymore.

She felt as if an invisible fist had punched her in the gut.

_Taichou's sword!_

She screamed a piercing sound in the dead silent air. "No!"

Her heart stopped. Her lungs failed. Her mind numbed. She could not think. Yet her feet had taken action before her brain could command it, for she found herself beside Captain Kuchiki.

They both gaped in utter horror as they followed a stream of crimson blood that led to a small dirty, brown pool. To the side, a white coat, drenched in red was discarded on the ground.

Isane scrambled for it and almost dropped it when she discovered the gaping hole through the back of the coat.

That's when Isane broke down. "T-T-T-TAICHOU!"

She screamed and screamed. She couldn't stop. Maybe she had gone insane. Captain Kuchiki's face was before her, pale and solemn, and she felt a pair of hands upon her shoulders and shaking her vigorously. But she still would not stop. He was saying something, or at least she thought he was for his mouth was moving, but she was beyond listening.

Her taichou was hurt.

What should she do?

What should she do?

What can she do?

"KOTETSU ISANE!"

She blinked furiously and found tears streaking down her dirty face. She stared at Captain Kuchiki through blurry eyes and felt a terrible chill to see his eyes also wild with terror.

Did she look like that, too?

"We have no time to lose. We have to find her. Heal her. Seal her wounds. Regenerate her blood. We have to stabilize her bodily functions. We have to..._"_

"W-what is it, Kuchiki-taichou?" she stammered, equally shaking with fright but with a renewed purpose. "What are you looking at…" She whipped her head in the direction that his disbelieving eyes were pointing at.

"T-t-t-taichou! You're all right!"

Before her smiling and arms folded inside the wide sleeves of her Shinigami uniform, Captain Unohana stood serenely, her long, midnight hair was flowing behind her in soft smooth waves. Her face was so fresh and clean, that it erased all doubts in Isane's mind that her captain had actually been hurt. She was no longer wearing her captain's coat, but the coat was nowhere to be seen. It dissolved in Isane's thoughts like mist, and she had already forgotten all about it.

"Yes, Isane. Contrary to popular belief, I'm quite well."

Out of sheer happiness, she began to rush toward her to embrace her, but Captain Kuchiki's hand was instantly on her elbow, holding her back. She looked at him, confused and annoyed at his harsh, painful grip. Any protest died at her very lips once she saw the look on his face.

"Isane Kotetsu, go back to the others."

"W-wha—? Why?! What for? Aren't you two coming back with me?"

She almost withered at the glare he gave her, but she did not back down, though her knees trembled.

"Isane," came the soothing voice of her captain. A warm feeling of security washed over her, an effect the 4th Division captain always produced in her officers. "Please, find our division members and see that help is given to those who need it."

She looked back at the smiling face of her captain and unconsciously smiled back in response. "Of course_, taichou."_

…

Retsu watched as Isane's form faded in the distance. She was pointedly neglecting to look at her fellow captain whose glare was now turned upon her.

"That blood, it is yours?" he stated, more than asked.

Retsu made a non-committal sound.

Retsu's hand which was hidden behind her sleeves was actually still pressed into her belly. She had succeeded in replenishing most of the blood she had lost and reknitting most of the broken tissues. Her skin had not yet completely closed over her wound, which was the last part of the healing process. She could have done it in 2 minutes flat, but she didn't want the scars that would sure result from such a hurried, haphazard procedure.

"I suggest, Kuchiki-taichou, you return to your Division members as well. I am sure they would want to know their captain has made it back safely from Hueco Mundo. Am I correct to assume that you have yet to make your rounds?"

Byakuya predictably chose not to reply and did the opposite of what she had asked. Instead, he was immediately before, hands on her shoulders. Narrowing his eyes, he leaned into her and took a whiff. His frown deepened as he discovered that metallic, coppery smell of blood on her.

Retsu was silent. She watched as Byakuya forgot himself, and she is quick enough to catch the instantaneous transition of emotions on his face from suspicion to disbelief to realization to anger to worry and finally back to his trademark indifference.

Taking her hands gently, he pried her arms away from her body and studied her wound. His grip on her hands tightens, unknowingly hurting her, but she was far too afraid of how he'll react to complain.

After a few awkward moments of being inspected under his penetrating gaze, she cleared her throat.

That seemed to fish him up out of his deep thinking. What she didn't expect, though, when he proceeded to untie the knot of her uniform.

She instantly reacted and pushed at his chest. His reflexes were just as quick as he caught her hands on his chest before she could actually push him away.

"What are you doing, Kuchiki-taichou? I can take care of myself. Let go and leave me." She cursed her pale complexion, for surely she was blushing.

He only scoffed at her pathetic attempt to drive him away. She could _feel _him practically rolling his eyes at her in his mind.

"Never again."

Her blush grew several shades darker, if that was even possible. Now it was _her_ turn to roll her eyes at that.

"Kuchiki-taichou, I simply cannot allow you take my uniform off. It is improper and indecent. And if I needed any help, I would have ordered Isane to do it."

"I would have you know I was the most skilled healer of my batch back in the Academy. _You _made sure of that. I am more than capable of sewing up an open wound."

She gave him a dirty look that said she might be regretting that she ever gave him those extra tutoring sessions.

"If the Shinigami Women's Association ever gets a word of this, we will never live it down. Not to mention that we will both get an earful from the Soutaichou. We shall be suspended for indecent behaviour! They will not understand."

"They will, and you are too stubborn. Let me heal you, and we will have this over with."

"We're attracting too much attention. We have too great spiritual energies concentrated in one place. The others will start getting suspicious."

"All the more reason to have this done now." His hand dove again to pull the knot of her uniform, but she twisted her body at the last minute. She winced as her skin tore open some more. The wound was bleeding again.

She attempted to cover up her pain with a glare of frustration directed at him, but he could not be fooled. She was surprised that she even bothered to pretend. Old habits die hard, she reasoned.

They spent the next few minutes volleying excuses and logical arguments, excuses mostly coming from Retsu and the logical arguments from Byakuya, before he finally decided to take charge of her entire well-being, whether she liked it or not.

"Enough of this."

He immediately pointed his finger at her and muttered an anaesthetic spell. A white circle of light, pure and innocent, glowed at the tip of his finger momentarily lighting up the ruined, deserted street before it floated and seeped inside her wound.

Her hands fall to her sides, giving in completely under his control. Part of her protested: she can take care of herself, why won't he let her handle this on her own? Another part was disappointed with herself: that part where she cannot accept ever being subdued by a man. But she cannot ignore the greater part of her heart that embraced his help as whole-heartedly as it could: that part that wanted to believe that it was acceptable to love and be loved.

For that reason, she decided not to counteract the spell.

She could have stopped him. A simple bakudou would have done the trick. And her kidou was unmatched, even for someone as skilled as the Kuchiki Byakuya.

But she didn't.

She chose to stop fighting: fighting him, fighting her feelings, fighting the world, the world that will always push them back together, as sure as the pendulum swings.

In a heartbeat, the spell took effect. The numbing sensation started from her belly wounded its way around her like a heavy coil, urging her to close her eyes and surrender to the darkness.

_Let him have his way, _she thought. _I am through with all this__ second guessing._

And for the first time, she completely submitted herself to him in trust. A great weight lifted up from her burdened heart. She thought to herself than maybe this time, she was finally free. Perhaps now, she can say that she truly loves him. Soon, he might even reciprocate. She counted the possibilities and laughed when she realized that they were infinite. They, as Shinigami, as Death gods, were infinite. Not eternal, but time was of no issue. What was a lifetime to humans was but a blink to them.

They had all the time they could ever want for. And they would sure need it. Kami, they sure would.

His arms scooped her gently before she lost the feeling of her legs. His silver eyes were the last thing she saw, shining with unspeakable emotions, before she succumbed to the shadow valley of sleep.

_..._

_A/N: Hello my darlings! Okay, listen. I know, it simply is unforgivable that i have not updated for so long. I'm sorry. I was really busy. Plus combined with the recent chapters from Bleach (what with all that shizzz going on with Zaraki Kenpachi and Unohana Yachiru) I got really uninspired and unmotivated to continue this story. I admit this may not be my best work. I wrote it all in just a day, so it may have some sticky parts. But I hope you all forgive me and review! Let me know if you want me to continue this story. Or if not, I can just leave it hanging like this and we shall never know if Byakuya mans up and finally 'fesses up to Retsu. Mehehe._

_Read and review! Please and thank you!_


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